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TGIF #1000165
01/30/15 02:47 AM
01/30/15 02:47 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.
~Michelle Pfeiffer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most of our generation 50+ was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.

What did you learn from your parents??

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."



2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."



3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"



4. My father taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."



5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."



6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."



7. My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."



8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."



9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"



10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."



11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."



12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"



13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."



14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"



15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."



16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."



17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"



18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."



19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"



20. My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."



21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."



22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."



23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you.

Do you think you were born in a barn?"



24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.



25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"


This was only sent to the older crowd because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these "EXACT" words by our parents.


Thanks Karen for sending me those! Very funny, and oh boy do I remember hearing many of them coming from my Mom's mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These mistakes have been collected from Sundayschool teachers, Catholic school teachers and others

This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments.

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

When the three wise guys from the East side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, “a man doth not live by sweat alone.”

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good moning everyboomie. welcome


IT'S FRIDAY!!!.....and my day off. penguin


I just love having one day off, when I have to go buy groceries, and I have to clean my house, and I have to do laundry, then I have to get to bed early so I can get up at 4:30 for work Saturday. blech


We work 6 days, have 1 day off, work 4 days, have 1 day off, work 4 more days to then have 2 days off. smirk


You'd better believe that by the time I get to those 2 days off, I am ready to go bananas. yay


I like working at Lowe's, but there are so many things that go on there that almost make the top of my head come off. taz


I hope that never happens, because Heh, if it did then people could read my mind. snicker


Worse yet I would just lose my mind. slapforehead


On the bright side, I could run for a political office.


Have a happy day everyone.



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000172
01/30/15 03:54 AM
01/30/15 03:54 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe and all who come in later. wave
Have a happy day. happydance smile


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000184
01/30/15 07:28 AM
01/30/15 07:28 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe and Haroula and All coming to the Diner. Coffee is ready. Joe hope you get some fun time on your day off. Haroula enjoy the sunshine. Happy Day wished for everyone! wave


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000187
01/30/15 07:37 AM
01/30/15 07:37 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Joe, enjoy your day off. happydance12

Haroula, have a happy day.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Wishing everyone a super duper day! penguin


Gail
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000190
01/30/15 07:50 AM
01/30/15 07:50 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope you have a great day off, Joe. Also hope that you keep your head. lol

Have a great Friday, Haroula.

Have a terrific day, Gerry.

Hope your day is fantastic, Gail.

Well, it's the start of a three day weekend for me. Thorsgoats is also off, so we're going to play some of the original Book of Unwritten Tales together, as he's never played it. I played some more of the sequel yesterday, so I'm finally catching up. grin Before then, I'm going to try out Life is Strange, which I caved in and pre-ordered. It's already available, and it looks really intriguing. thumbsup

Okay, off to see what else is happening. Have a great Friday, everyone. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000193
01/30/15 07:58 AM
01/30/15 07:58 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Gail and venus. Gail enjoy your day and stay warm! Venus have a fun day off! Enjoy the day All! wave happydance


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000198
01/30/15 08:19 AM
01/30/15 08:19 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow have a Great Friday. Danish, French Toast, and Cinnamon Buns in the NC. winter


Connie
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000210
01/30/15 09:31 AM
01/30/15 09:31 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning all! Happy Friday!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1000217
01/30/15 10:53 AM
01/30/15 10:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and enjoy your day off! Happy TGIF!!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's Friday! woot

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000223
01/30/15 11:17 AM
01/30/15 11:17 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
I'm off to chop, chop, chop veggies for tonights fish fry. Have a lovely day everybody and stay warm and safe!!

wave
Nan

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000237
01/30/15 12:46 PM
01/30/15 12:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Woke up feeling very rough. Got up, got coffee, and went back to bed. Confused the doggies but they were good. Up for the second time and struggling to stay that way.

Boys will be here this afternoon and they and we have a busy weekend planned. Dad and the boys are planning a geo-chaching Saturday while hubby and I have a play. Then Sunday is the Super Bowl, so there is much cooking in that day. We will need to eat a bit earlier as the boys will have to go home, but they want all the yummy food. lol

Nan, veggies? Making slaw?

wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000251
01/30/15 02:01 PM
01/30/15 02:01 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
What a sight this morning over the back pasture -about 50 turkey vultures circling, circling round and round from east to west then back east and repeat repeat. Run,run!!! get the binoculars and breathtaking. I wonder what that meant. Then 1 by 1 they flew off but about 8 perched in a tall tree by a pond and soon they were gone. What a way to start a Friday. Animals know so much we don't give them credit, respect.

Cut my finger on a fancy feast can but it finally stopped gushing -I'm a bleeder. Right now I'm dining on gardein chicken chipotal fingers. And made a salad for my Friday meals.

It's colder today but sunny and kits are outside. House very quiet. Everyone heal up and feel better


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: TGIF [Re: Yankee Clipper] #1000263
01/30/15 03:49 PM
01/30/15 03:49 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
luv2travel Offline
Addicted Boomer
luv2travel  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
Happy Friday Friends!

I'm feeling much better today! Venus, you're so lucky to have your fiancée to game with! I'd love to find someone, be it friend or lover, who would do that for me!. I play Elder Scrolls Online at the moment, but have played many other types of games and enjoy most.
It's raining today here but Sunday for the Super Bowl should be sunny. Phoenix Open golf is going on at the same time. I just stay away from any stores and restaurants and stay home to avoid the craziness. Not a football fan.

Wishing all of you a great weekend!
Andrea wave

Re: TGIF [Re: luv2travel] #1000265
01/30/15 04:31 PM
01/30/15 04:31 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
afternoon Boomers wave

Yankee hope your finger heals up quick!
Vultures! wow! is something dead out their??
your lunch sounds yummy

Hi ya L4L sounds like you got a fun/busy weekend ahead of you, have fun! happydance


Hi Nan have fun at your fish fry

Hi Andera! how are you feeling? better I hope~my sis is in AZ now Loving it! have a nice day wave


going shopping yay

Have a nice day Boomers~Karen


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: TGIF [Re: Drmojo] #1000273
01/30/15 05:20 PM
01/30/15 05:20 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000281
01/30/15 05:50 PM
01/30/15 05:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Yankee, wonder what they were all after?

Andrea, so glad you are feeling better. wave

Doc, how are you feeling?

Afternoon, Space wave

Think it's nap time....


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000292
01/30/15 10:08 PM
01/30/15 10:08 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Cut finger on a cat food can? Been there, done that. Ouch! Not to mention having to really clean out the greasy cat food with really hot water. Ick. Hope it heals fast.

Managed to find an old Lawn Dart set at the Thrift Store. Those were outlawed years ago because of 'accidents' with the sharp pointed huge darts. I'm going to play with it tomorrow. I'll be careful.

Penelope the Peacock (who is also called Miss Priss by my neighbor and Penny by my friend) was on my deck pecking at something in a regular 'beat'. When I finally saw what it was, I had to laugh. I have solar lights in the barrels with my plants and one was getting very low on the battery so it was pulsing on and off, just sort of blinking. SHE was pecking at the blinks each time it went on. Very interesting.

Off to eat some antacids. Friend made chicken curry with the box of curry I bought for him. VERY spicy hot. I had to eat some or risk hurting his feelings. Was very good, but too spicy, so I'm hoping to tame it. I'm not good with spicy stuff. Nope.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000296
01/30/15 10:25 PM
01/30/15 10:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi all. I had to go to Waltham for my monthly visit to the pain clinic. The drive wasn't too bad. I thought the traffic would be much worse. I got home about 4:00 so I had nothing pressing. Took it easy for the rest of the day. What a nice feeling not to rush to go somewhere else. I'm going to bed early tonight so I'll just say good night and sweet dreams.

Midgie heartssleep


Just do it.
Re: TGIF [Re: Midge] #1000301
01/30/15 11:13 PM
01/30/15 11:13 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1000310
01/31/15 01:41 AM
01/31/15 01:41 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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