The man who can’t dance thinks the band is no good.
~Polish Proverb
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.
~Ben Bergor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These are funny limericks written by Albert Van Hoogmoed“Skinny No More”There once was a fellow named Sarge
who married a psychic named Marge.
The weight soon appeared,
and just as he feared,
his medium became extra-large.
“A Clown on Viagra”A clown went to Doctor McDougal
with pain in his whatcha-ma-doodle.
With turns of his wrists
and a couple of twists
he’d made it look just like a poodle.
“Clinton’s Dog”Old Buddy the dog was a male,
made friends with a wag of his tail.
He sniffed someone’s crotch
on the President’s watch.
He sniffed but he didn’t inhale.
“The Hula Dancer”She danced by the light of the fire,
the object of lust and desire.
A skirt made of grass
had covered her lass
‘til somebody set it on fire.
“Bonfire at the Nudist Camp”Last weekend they built a big fire.
The flames shot up higher and higher.
Buns were toasted
and wieners were roasted
when folks got too close to the fire.
“At the Retirement Home”The guys now adore Sadie Fetters.
They send lots of flowers and letters.
It seems they’re in awe
since her doggie bra
made pointers out of her setters.
“Learning Magic in Prison”A serial killer named Graff
was learning some tricks from the staff.
He learned really quick.
His first magic trick
was sawing a woman in half.
“Titanic Survivors’ Day”The day starts with prayers in the chapel.
Some people with nightmares still grapple.
Some go for a hike
or tournaments like
ice fishing and bobbing for apples.
“VA Hospital Picnic”Each year they invite lots of people,
enjoying events by the steeple.
They have lots of fun,
their favorite one,
a 3-legged race with 3 people.
“Impressing the Ladies”There was a teenager named Lance
who put a big squash in his pants.
It did him no good.
He learned that it should
be placed in the front of his pants.
~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
It's exactly 12 hours past noon.
The wick of my day is about burned up.
I want you all to hear me now, and understand me later.
Have a happy day.
joe
acebook
witter
You have a really nice day too 
We had more snow here yesterday 
wishing you all a happy day! Coffee is on! 
my chair seat is at the shop getting fixed so I'm stuck using using my old hover round, I hate this thing! I crash into everything walls included! I'm a bad driver 
