A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend’s houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
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I don’t exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I’ll call you back when I am…

I don’t want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine? Maybe it’s a dream, or maybe it’s an illusion, or maybe YOU don’t really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it’s reality, I will call you back.

Free money line. All of our lines are currently busy. Please hold. You're call is important to us. Estimated wait time is currently about 421 days, give or take. Thank you.

I know you’re out there. I know that you’re afraid. You’re afraid of us. You’re afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn’t come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I’m going to hang up this phone, and then I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you
I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to break the record for “the most calls missed” if its a emergency or you're dying or something, please hold on till the record is broken. And I will call you back.
If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can’t, so if you could leave your name and number…

If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t at home and it’s safe to leave us a message.

If you are hearing this tape, then I’m not here now. Please leave your name, number, D.O.B, address, social security number, age, height, weight, how many children you have, what sex you are, your mother’s maiden name, and the date and time when you called me. If you are still listening, then whatever you have to say must be very important. Please leave a message after the beep.

I’m gone.

I’m not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. So please leave a message after the tone.

I didn’t take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don’t leave a message after the tone, you might have to deal with me in person.

I’m only here in spirit at the moment, but if you’ll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I’m here in person.

I’m sorry but my answering machine is out of order. I am leaving a broken CD player in its place. It can’t take messages either. In fact, it can’t even play you a nice tune while you wait to not leave a message.

I’m sorry; my answering machine is out of order. May I take a message?

I’m unable to take your call in person because I’m having an out-of-the-body experience. In fact I’m standing right behind you and I can hear everything you say. But leave me a message anyway to help me reconnect when I get back.

Hello this is....oh hell you know who it is, after all you called me. Please leave a message.

I’m writing the definitive work on pain. I would like you to tell me how this machine makes you feel. Remember, be honest. This is for posterity.

In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. (Heeeeee-YAH! Sound of smashing box of kleenex.) But this method doesn’t work with a telephone call… (Dial tone.) Introducing the all-new Ginsu answering machine! It cuts, it chops, it slices, it dices your incoming calls! How much would you pay? Don’t answer, because if you leave your name and number when you hear the tone, we’ll throw in a return phone call ABSOLUTELY FREE!

Knock, knock. (Pause. Caller thinks, “Who’s there?”) Isn’t that *my* question? (Pause.) Please leave a message…

Leave a message or I’ll send 30,000 volts through your phone. I am an electrical engineer. I can do that.

Lindsey’s not home now. This is his domestic droid speaking. I’m not programmed to answer the phone, so just leave a message, and Lindsey will get back to you as soon as possible .

Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want?

My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. I’ll get back to you pending credit approval.

Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone…

Next on Public Radio 91 we’ll be hearing music of Antonin Dvorak, his “Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 72.”

No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No! Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of underwear. We’ll get back to you if we like the color.

Hello, this is your friendly neighborhood pervert. I'm on a house call at the moment, so please leave you name sex, phone number, address, and what color underwear you're wearing. I will pay you a personal visit later.

Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 2.05. Counting down to test: 5…4…3…2…1…

Rub-a-dub-dub, Just got in the tub, Rick is out playing; the kids are misbehaving, and can’t come to the phone.

Sorry, Chris and Susan aren’t here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message BEFORE the tone.

Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, can you hold please? — Captain, there is a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do you want it on screen?

Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I’ll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week’s National Enquirer.

Steve is reassembling Elvis’ brain and can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name…

Suicide Hotline…please hold.

Susan and I are not here right now. We’re in the bathroom having some fun. She likes it up and down and I like it back and forth. Leave a message at the beep and we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished brushing our teeth. Thank you.

Thank you for calling 555-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn’t do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and we kinda like pushing other people's buttons.

Thank you for calling Santa’s workshop. Santa can’t come to the phone right now, and the elves are out back barbecuing Blitzen. After the tone, please leave your Christmas list, and I'll get back to you before Christmas....I promise!

Thank you for calling Soviet Embassy. No KG… Er, no diplomats are able to answer phone, so at sound of capitalist tone, leave name, telephone number, and short description of secrets you wish to sell.

Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father Durway’s not here right now, but if you’ll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he’ll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible. And remember, confession doesn’t count unless you confess all of your sins in vivid, graphic detail!

Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment. If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you… When hell freezes over.
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Good morning everyboomie.


It's an early to bed, early to rise day, and you know what that means.


It means I have to go to bed early, and get up early. COME ON YOU GUYS!!!


I need your help waking up in the morning. Could someone please call me at 3:30? My number is 555-5555.


That's my sister's phone number actually.


Next time I'll give you my boss's number.


My day off was like a deep freeze, but I'm going to give the good Lord one more chance before I fire him.


If my next day off is not sunny and nice, he's outta here.


Have a happy day everyone.



joe

Have a great Friday everyone.

Happy Friday everyone We're expecting Snow,Snow, and more Snow Starting to get a little crazy being house bound I'll put the coffee on and keep it fresh and hot!!

Have a terrific Friday Joe, Space Quest, Cailyn and all who come in after me.

It's Thursday night for me, and I'm off to sleep for another early work whoosh, the last of the week. I'm ready for the upcoming weekend.

Okay, off to sleep. Have a great Friday, everyone.

Still at trivia night with my friends and having a great time. I get cable installed today! this will be the 6th day without tv.

Have a great day all!

Good morning,have all a happy Friday.
Glorious weather for the past 3 days.Sunny and hot.
Its like Spring time.

Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Sue, venus, Ana, Haroula and All on theway to Joes'. Hope you all have a great Friday! Bitter cold here this morning and like Sue more snow is coming over the next few days!

Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Going to lunch and then getting a Mani/Pedi with best friend. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches and Apple Turnovers in the NC.

Good morning boomers. Hope everyone is having a fantastic Friday

Good Morning Boomers

To everyone here and everyone on their way I'm wishing a wonderful day!

Deep freeze here and lots and lots more snow will be arriving this weekend.

Got a Doc appointment this afternoon. Temp is -2 but the chill factor is -15.

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope your TGIF goes smoothly for you!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's Friday!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Just a quick note to wish everybody a lovely day! Must be off to chop up all those veggies for the salad bar and soup tonight at fish fry!

Have a wonderful lovely day everybody!


Nan

Fantastic Friday ya'll

Had the strangest thing happen last night. Normally when I'm not feeling well, I go to bed and all the dogs pile in with me and we cuddle. Well, yesterday evening after hubby left for Bible Study, Skyman was just determined that he was going downstairs. So much so that I finally kenneled him so I could rest.

Imagine my surprise when the boys came running up to tell me "goodnight" sometime later. Apparently, one of them was "sick" (so not), so mom dropped them over here last night and they stayed home from school today.

Anyway,after being out and on the bed for a bit and then back in his kennel where he normally sleeps, Mr. Sky decided that last night was not a night that he wanted to be kenneled so he fussed intermittently all night. I just kept piling extra pillows on my head, and thankfully, because of my tummy meds, I could go back to sleep. I like him to sleep with us, but that is not for him to decide. Sometimes we actually need room to stretch out.

Ana, so glad you are getting your cable hooked up today.

I'm going to work on bills as long as the tummy allows and then head back to my heating pad and the bed.

The kitchen smells adorable -I made granny smith applesauce -Oh my, an old fashioned kitchen. I need applesauce for an oat bran muffin recipe and why not make my own a'sauce. It has to be chilled so I'll make them tomorrow. With home made cheese soup they'll be good.

It's warmer today goodygoody and warmer tomorrow...more goody.

After spating a bit this morning my kits have settled down -3 sleeping inside and 1 outside roaming around.

I'm almost finished with sniper elite 3 and must spend more time on mordor because there's some good looking games on the horizon

bye now

Good afternoon Boomers.

Yankee, that sounds wonderful! How do you make your cheese soup?

Afternoon, Space

Sweet dreams, Haroula

It's the weekend! Woohoo and booyah!

Sushi and champagne tonight, then easy peasy weekend! Much needed!

So.

To all abed, To all awake,

Afternoon Boomers

wet rainy day here


Have a nice night everyone~Karen

Son and boys made dinner...pigs in a blanket, curly fries, and asparagus. Now time to lay down and read. Sweet dreams all