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Another Tuesday #1002860
02/16/15 07:53 PM
02/16/15 07:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
JANE FONDA

Quote: “It's never too late- never too late to change your life,never too late to be happy.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a professional poker player were fishing from a boat not from the shore of a lake. The pastor needed to go to the bathroom so he got out of the boat, walked across the water, disappeared into the woods by the shore, then walked back across the water to the boat and climbed back in.

The priest was the next to make the trip, getting out of the boat, walking across the water, disappearing into the trees, then walking back across the water and returning to the boat.

The professional poker player was the last to go. He stepped out of the boat and immediately sank. The pastor looked at the priest and said: "You really should have told him where the rocks are."
~~~~~~~~

Why do we sometimes write 'etc' at the end in the exam?
bcoz it means...

E-End of
T-thinking
C-capacity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apple unveiled the new iPad last week. The new iPad apparently has only modest improvements over previous models - which of course means I will trample over my own mother to get one.
~~~~~~~~

A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?"
"No, I am an undercover detective."
"So why are you in uniform?"
"Today is my day off."
~~~~~~~~~~~

A story is told that Richard Wagner was walking on a street in Berlin one day and came across an organ-grinder who was grinding out the overture to Tannhäuser. Wagner stopped and said, "As a matter of fact, you are playing it too fast."

The organ-grinder at once recognized Wagner, tipped his hat, and said, "Oh thank you, Herr Wagner! Thank you, Herr Wagner!"

The next day Wagner returned to the same spot and found the organ-grinder grinding out the overture at the correct tempo. Behind him was a big sign: "PUPIL OF RICHARD WAGNER."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Committee Rules

Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular - it's what everyone is waiting for.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.

"Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."

"You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A poker pro sees an old friend of his at the Rio during the World Series of Poker and pulls him aside.

"Look, man," he says, "I really hate to ask this but you've known me for years and you know I wouldn't ask unless I'm desperate. I've been running terrible, I can't feed my wife and kids right now, and we're about to get kicked out of our house. Can I borrow $1,000 just to keep our heads above water until I figure something out?"

"Of course," his friend says, "but with just one condition. You have to swear to me that you won't play poker with it, and that it'll go towards food for your family."

The poker pro breaks out into a huge grin. "I swear. I can even prove it to you, as here's my $10,000 entry to the Main Event that I just bought in for, so I'll definitely be too busy the next few days to even think about playing poker with the $1,000!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true.

"I'm as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed.

The judge replied, "Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. When the foreman asked the man why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED

People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED.

But there is. When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.

And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are... COMPLETELY FINISHED.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man is hired by the circus to perform a necessary but rather unpleasant task. He is asked to walk behind the elephants in the center ring, shoveling aside their droppings as they walk about. After a rather difficult evening at work, he goes to the circus cafeteria, sits with other workers, and begins complaining about his work.

"It's just terrible work, walking behind those huge beasts and first dodging, then shoveling aside the dung they produce. My arms are tired, my shoes and pants are a mess, and I'll have to shower before I return home, because of the stink."

His friends at work agree: "Why don't you just quit this miserable job and find something more rewarding to do. You have to have some skills and talents that you can put to use somewhere else."

He looks at them, stunned: "You know, you're probably right, but I just can't give up the glamour of show business!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Windsor castle, outside of London, is directly in the flight path of Heathrow International Airport. While a group of tourist was standing outside the castle admiring the elegant structure, a plane flew overhead at a relatively low altitude making a tremendous amount of noise.

One particularly annoyed tourist whined, "Why did they build the castle so close to the airport?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


If you're reading this Monday night, I've made a huge pot of spaghetti sauce, and it is MaMa Mia Good! Have a big plate with some Texas garlic toast. Mmmmmm Malicious! yay


If you're reading this Tuesday morning well..........the coffee's on. Have a cuppa on mia, MaMa. thumbsup


If you're reading this Wednesday morning, you probably lead a much more interesting life than I do. Drop in and visit us any time you're in the neighborhood ok? wink


Gotta get up at 3:30am. OH MaMa! blech


Have a happy day everyone. rah



joe



Last edited by gymcandy1; 02/16/15 07:58 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002865
02/16/15 09:00 PM
02/16/15 09:00 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Thanks for the jokes Joe. lol


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002867
02/16/15 09:11 PM
02/16/15 09:11 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Too early Joe! Yikes! Have a great day!

SpaceQ, have a wonderful day!

I should be getting my sling off today! Yay me! woot

Stay warm everyone!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002873
02/16/15 10:12 PM
02/16/15 10:12 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, I have to get up that early every day for work, so I hear you. smile Hope your day flies by.

Have a great day, Space Quest.

Congratulations on getting your sling off, Ana!! bravo

It's Monday night for me, and I'm off to sleep for another morning work whoosh. I'll try my best to go in at the usual time, but we're getting a lot of snow tonight. eek I may have to go in a couple of hours later. I do hope I'm able to get there on time, though, as I like to beat the early rush, especially on Tuesdays. I'll just have to see how it goes.

As for now, I'm off to sleep. Have a great Tuesday, everyone. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002878
02/16/15 11:27 PM
02/16/15 11:27 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Hope you don't get too much more snow venus.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002893
02/17/15 02:51 AM
02/17/15 02:51 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a happy day. happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002906
02/17/15 06:10 AM
02/17/15 06:10 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, venus and Haroula. Joe enjoy your day! SpaceQ have a good one. Ana that is good news! Venus hope you get to work okay. Haroula wishing you a great day too. Coffee is hot and fresh. Wishing everyone a great day! wave


Gerry
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002915
02/17/15 06:46 AM
02/17/15 06:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has a terrific Tuesday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002918
02/17/15 06:57 AM
02/17/15 06:57 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
You have a great day to manxman! yes wave


Gerry
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002923
02/17/15 07:13 AM
02/17/15 07:13 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. I have an early shift this morning. Looking for BB pancakes but it looks like there aren't any this morning. sad Maybe tomorrow morning. Have a great day today everyone. smile

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002924
02/17/15 08:00 AM
02/17/15 08:00 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Ana, I hope the sling comes off today. To all here and all who follow, have a Super Tuesday. To those with all the snow, stay safe. They are saying we may get a freeze, haven't had one in a few years. Danish, Omelets, Bacon Sandwiches and Hot Chocolate in the NC. winter


Connie
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002946
02/17/15 10:48 AM
02/17/15 10:48 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers winter

To all who are here and All who are on their way I'm wishing a happy Tuesday! happydance12


Gail
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: connie] #1002947
02/17/15 10:50 AM
02/17/15 10:50 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! I don't envy your early mornings! Hope the rest of your day goes smoothly and that your Another Tuesday is terrific!

Great news, Ana! woot

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002957
02/17/15 11:22 AM
02/17/15 11:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Cold cold cold.....feet-in-socks-and-shoes-and-still-cold-in-the-den kind of cold. I'm going to work on the books a bit. I intended to yesterday but life thought otherwise, so today is try 2.

I was "wired" last night and couldn't sleep, so finished one book, then started and finished another.

Joe, spaghetti sounds wonderful. Think I'll ask hubby to get the stuff to make sauce on his way home.

Space, have a great day.

Ana, luck

Venus, good luck on the snow. I hope it gets lighter.

Haroula, how is your son feeling?

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Manx, hope you have a wonderful day!

Midgy, be safe. I hid a fresh stack of pancakes behind the coffee maker.

Connie, stay in, stay warm.

Gail, you too.

Darlene, happy skooshing!

Diving into the books. Back in a bit wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002958
02/17/15 11:23 AM
02/17/15 11:23 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe may work fly and go well! Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

Ana hope the sling comes off and all is well! Today is my last day for my eye drops. happydance then in to see the doc on Thursday! Have a lovely day!

venus hope the snow was light and you made it to work on time. Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for that HOT COFFEE!! Negative numbers here for most of the week with like -40 windchills. Have a lovely day!

Midge there are always BB pancakes on the table, dig in and enjoy! Be safe and have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for all the goodies and have a lovely day!

Gail hope it has stopped snowing and starts warming up and melting the snow. Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smoothly and you have a lovely day!

I shall remain indoors to stay warm except to let Sassy out a few times.

wave
Nan

Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002969
02/17/15 12:42 PM
02/17/15 12:42 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ahh, gave up and turned on the heater for a bit. Now I know it's cold as I almost never run my heater. Brrrr.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002972
02/17/15 12:51 PM
02/17/15 12:51 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Penelope the Peacock is a pain! Cute bird, nice to look at but lately she's been chasing ME around the deck when she sees me hoping I will toss her some grapes. Ugh. I don't mind the begging, but when she jumps at my legs I head for the door. Agressive. So far she's not hurt the cats or me. Talons are fat and blunt. Beak could probably cut if she bit down hard, but she's mostly grabbing for what's in my hands. I don't 'hand' feed her, but if she sees something she goes for it. Oh well...the joys of 'almost' owning a Peacock. Wish she had a mate. Might be one over there where she comes from. Maybe she will lay eggs in my yard. Ha. Imagine a momma peacock fending off feral cats. I think the peacock wins.

Off to the bank. Out of spending cash. Need to trade in my rolls of coins, and then some winning lottery tickets. It's a pain and wasted time, but I found the clerks at the stores just won't accept lottery tickets as pay. Nope. rotfl


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1002976
02/17/15 01:08 PM
02/17/15 01:08 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Penelope sounds bored -it's true if she had a mate and family she'd probably good as gold. Is she hungry or just grape grabbing? Well, Sorta, just keep nimble. how is she treating other neighbors and you are a good person to care for her.

Cold today -good for house cleaning and gaming. And something else -I finally made some inroads with "The Evil Within". With this game you must be prepared to die alot..........and I do. But I caved in and am using a wiki walkthrough.

Went to bed at midnight and slept through till 9:15 this morning and 3 kits on the bed and enjoying the heated matress pad. Difficult to roll out and start the day.


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: Yankee Clipper] #1003012
02/17/15 04:44 PM
02/17/15 04:44 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1003014
02/17/15 04:53 PM
02/17/15 04:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Thanx L4L and Nan. I forget sometimes to look around for them. I'll have some tonight after I come home from work. M-m-m-m-m. It's still snowing. It started before I left work this morning and hasn't stopped yet. It's still light but I don't know how the roads are. I'll find out soon enough. Tomorrow is my day off. yay dance yay rah flowers broccoli devilchili winter

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1003026
02/17/15 06:40 PM
02/17/15 06:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Afternoon, Space wave

Midgy, be safe wave

Edit: off to bed...sweet dreams all sleep

Last edited by looney4labs; 02/17/15 10:27 PM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: looney4labs] #1003052
02/17/15 11:03 PM
02/17/15 11:03 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hi looney wave

Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1003055
02/17/15 11:22 PM
02/17/15 11:22 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Home now for awhile and just relaxing after a ride home that needed my attention the whole way. A bit slippery. Fed and now I'm gonna start to find my pillow. I'm tired and I just want to snuggle under my blankets and watch Ben Hur. Great movie. I stumbled on it serving. See you all in the am. I have tomorrow off. yay

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Another Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1003056
02/17/15 11:46 PM
02/17/15 11:46 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
sweet dreams everyone. hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
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