JOHN LENNON
Quote: "Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans."
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The story is told about a king in Africa who had a close friend he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.
As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.
As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."
"No," his friend replied, "this is good!"
"What do you mean, "this is good!" How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"
"If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you!"
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An old punster made the king the butt of most of his jokes. Consequently, he was loved by the people, but hated by the king.
The king endured the ridicule for months. One day, after hearing people in the streets repeating some of their favorite quips, he had had enough. He had the following statement posted around the royal city:
"By royal decree, anyone who tells a pun will be hanged by the neck until he is dead."
The old punster kept telling his jokes, including puns. He was arrested, tried, convicted, and sentenced to be hanged at dawn in a week's time.
The king's conscience was pricked. He didn't want to execute a citizen for merely telling jokes. So the king sent a message to the hangman on the morning of the execution, telling him that the old man was to be given a pardon if he promised never to tell another pun.
The old man couldn't imagine living in a world where he could not tell a pun. So he replied, "No noose is good news," and died gladly.
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A royal castle was under siege from an infidel army. The only hope was to send one of the knights to get help, but the problem was that all of the horses had been killed in the battle.
"We must get help," said the king.
"I know," replied the leader of his army, "but we have no horses. If a knight goes on foot, he will be slain at once."
"Is there not another animal he can ride?" demanded the king. "What about that mighty wolfhound? It could surely bear the weight of a man."
"No, no," pleaded the army leader. "The wolfhound is too dangerous. Look at its snarling teeth. I wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."
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An actor went to see a new agent one day and said, `You must have a look at my act, it really is innovative. So saying, he flew up to the ceiling, circled the room a few times and landed smoothly on the agent’s desk.
`So you do bird impressions, said the agent, `what else can you do?
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A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to live.
He went home feeling very sad, and when his wife heard the sad news she said to him, "Honey, if there's anything I can do to make you happy, tell me."
The preacher answered, "You know, dear, there's that box in the kitchen cabinet with what you always called "your little secret" in it and you said you never would want me to open it as long as you lived. Now that I'm about to go home to be with the Lord, why don't you show me what's in that secret box of yours?"
The preacher's wife got out the box and opened the lid.
It contained $10,000 and three eggs.
"What are those eggs doing in the box?" the preacher asked. "Well, Honey," she replied, "every time your sermon was really bad I put an egg in the box.
Now the preacher had been preaching for over forty years, and seeing only three eggs in that old shoe box, he started to feel very proud about himself and it warmed his soul.
"And what about that $10,000?"" he asked.
"Oh, you see," she whispered softly, "every time there were a dozen eggs in the box, I . . . ummm . . . sold them . . . and put a dollar in the box."
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Sid and John, totally drunk at the bar, were driving home. Sid yelled, "John! Watch out for the tree. Watch out Johhnnnn!"
Crash!!Boom! Bang!!!
They hit the tree and passed out.
They found themselves in adjacent hospital beds the next morning. Sid said to John, "You are such an idiot. I shouted there was a tree ahead. Why didn't you listen to me???"
John replied, "It was YOU driving!!"
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Good morning Boomies.
It's been a long day. Work was fierce.
I got a lot done though, and that in spite of a specialist meeting that lasted over an hour.
I hate meetings.
There's very little that they tell us in those meetings that I don't already know, and even less than that that I even care about.
Every time they call a meeting I suggest that we don't, and say that we did.
Every time my manager tells me I need to be at a meeting I ask them to just email me the minutes to read.
I am so amazed they haven't fired me yet.
It's probably because they have to fill out too much paperwork.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Danish, Bacon and Eggs, Oatmeal, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. 
Have an easy peasy day!
Hope the rock salt helps you out. How much snow and ice do you have now?
