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Hump Day #1009712
04/07/15 10:46 PM
04/07/15 10:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
~Kimberly Broyles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Chinese couple had a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy.

"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?"

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Female Laws To Live By

The female always make the rules.

The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

No male can possibly know all the rules.

If the female suspects the male knows the rules she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

The female is never wrong.

If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.

The female may change her mind at any time.

The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.

The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry and/or upset.

The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.

The male is expected to mind read at all times.

The female is ready when she is ready.

The male must be ready at all times.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it?"

God said, "No, you have another 30 to 40 years to live."

Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction and breast augmentation. She even had someone dye her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it.

She walked out of Cedars Sinai lobby after the last operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and said, "I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?"

God replied, "Shirley! I'm sorry but I didn't recognize you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack and Jill were getting married.

Jack was talking to his dad about the marriage when his dad says, "I remember when your mom and I got married. I took off my pants, gave them to her, and told her to put them on."

"I can't wear these," she said.

"Darn right," he said, "I wear the pants in this family, and you'd better remember that."

"I think I'll try that on Jill," Jack said.

He went to Jill, took off his pants, and gave them to her.

"Put these on," he said.

Jill replied, "I can't wear these."

"Darn right. I wear the pants in this family and you'd better remember that," he said.

Then Jill took off her pants, gave them to him, and told him to put them on.

"I can't get in to these," he said.

"Darn right," Jill said. "And if you don't change your attitude you never will!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Facts of Life

Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter (or at least men think it means that). PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My
Spouse.

The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'.

Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different
meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

If it is not Valentine's Day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'

Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.

All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys (which gets them in More trouble).

Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

Women can get out of speeding tickets by
pouting. This will get men arrested.

Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Definitions By Gender

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood. Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2&1/2 min.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.


Let me make one thing perfectly clear.


The smiley button is unresponsive for me tonight. Perhaps it has a headache.


Perhaps the settings on my computer have magically been restored to their original factory default settings of NOPE:NOPE:THAT WON'T WORK:DON'T TRY THAT: and NOT IN THIS LIFETIME IDIOT!


On the bright side, it's a new day, it's a new week, it's a new dawn, it's a ....OH SUCK AN EGG!


Not what I wanted to say, but then what I wanted to say wouldn't have gotten past the sensor's ax.


I believe her name is Lizzie.


Have a happy day everyone.



joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/07/15 10:53 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009714
04/07/15 11:15 PM
04/07/15 11:15 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe and Happy Hump day! Don't like the censors? Take a number, we will get to you as soon as we have an available customer service rep. hearts

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1009716
04/07/15 11:24 PM
04/07/15 11:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Originally Posted By: BrownEyedTigre
Good morning Joe and Happy Hump day! Don't like the censors? Take a number, we will get to you as soon as we have an available customer service rep. hearts

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave



Thanks Ana. For showing me how to spell censor. lol flowers

Didn't say I don't like them though. hearts





Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/07/15 11:33 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009727
04/08/15 01:28 AM
04/08/15 01:28 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning have all a happy day. smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Hump Day [Re: Haroula] #1009734
04/08/15 02:37 AM
04/08/15 02:37 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
GGood morning Boom Boom Buddies wave


Off to have an ultra sound today~ then a Dr appt afterwards fun! crazy

Hope everyone has a nice April 8th happydance






Karen spring chocobunny spring


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009748
04/08/15 05:42 AM
04/08/15 05:42 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula, Karen and All. Joe I love your smileys! Ana enjoy your day. Haroula hope the sun shines today. Karen wishing you a very Happy Birthday! birthday Cake, tea and coffee in the naughty corner! dance Happy Day All! spring


Gerry
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009763
04/08/15 07:15 AM
04/08/15 07:15 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. birthday Karen, Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Hump Day. Danish, Waffles, and BB Pancakes in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009776
04/08/15 08:19 AM
04/08/15 08:19 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009777
04/08/15 08:22 AM
04/08/15 08:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers Everywhere! cat

Joe, you brighten my morning with laughter.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Karen, happy birthday Buddy. birthday

Ana, enjoy whatever the day brings.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee to go with Karen's birthday cake. woot

Connie, going with the birthday cupcakes this morning.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Hump Day! lab


Gail
Re: Hump Day [Re: GBC] #1009790
04/08/15 09:53 AM
04/08/15 09:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope your Hump Day is a happy one!

birthday Karen! Woohoo and booyah!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Had a little rain last night. Soooooo needed!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009799
04/08/15 10:47 AM
04/08/15 10:47 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
lol Joe!! Thanks for the laughs and have a lovely day!

Ana hope you have some fun plans for the day! Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Karen birthday Have the bestest one ever!!! Good luck and sending prayers for the ultrasound and doc appointment!!! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the cake and coffee! Have a lovely day!

Connie birthday cupcakes.....yummmmy!! thanks for the goodies and have a lovely day!

manxman have a lovely day!

Gail hope all is going well there. HUGS! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and go smoothly! Glad you got a little rain last night. We had a little snow and then a little rain last night here. Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009813
04/08/15 11:58 AM
04/08/15 11:58 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Spent several hours yesterday dragging file size boxes off shelves in my storage shed. I now have 15 boxes in the house that I am carefully unpacking (removing all the newspaper etc) and stacking and counting of lovely old china sets and other wonderfully breakable things and those 56 Hummel figurines. TODAY I go back out and go through the other HALF of the boxes out there. Didn't realize I had so much stuff. I could open a store. Geeeee! Once it's all catalogued and separated, I'm going to call some of the local antique dealers to see if anyone will come here to buy or who will run a sale for me. Way too many and too heavy for me to cart them anywhere. I'd need a huge van. Back is hurting, legs, arms, etc. I've gotta be careful.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009836
04/08/15 03:22 PM
04/08/15 03:22 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Wonderful Wednesday Ya'll puppy

Bopped up this morning. Got everyone fed and then en masse out the door to the vet. We were there forever....takes a long time to do all the "stuff" for 4 dogs. Then home to make smoothies before son had to go to work. Finally got lunch, which was also breakfast, and now, in between getting up to let dogs in/out, I"m gonna surf for a bit. Daughter just fell asleep on the couch...jet lag is awful. I need to take Keoki man for a walk but I really think it's too hot out there. Will think on it. Wish I had room for a treadmill.

birthday Doc wave

Sorta, luck


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009841
04/08/15 03:43 PM
04/08/15 03:43 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009844
04/08/15 04:01 PM
04/08/15 04:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Afternoon, Space wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009851
04/08/15 04:48 PM
04/08/15 04:48 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Gosh Sorta, I'd love to see that stuff and I really do need a set of dishes as mine are lotsa odds and ends my children were so nice to leave me when they left home. I'd be your 1st customer -just don't get hurt, take your time. you know the Princess needs you.

Just home from shopshopshopping and didn't need so much this time. When we age we don't eat so much -oh the joys of growing old.

L4L we have perfect doggy walking weather here today. Overcast, coolish with a touch of humidity.

I'm getting bunches of tomato plants so must start digging soon. Workwork workwork -harvest is the best part isn't it


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009865
04/08/15 07:25 PM
04/08/15 07:25 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Done with the shed 'hunting'. Whew! It's a total of 33 file size boxes filled with mostly dishes/sets, but I also found 'collection' glasses. They were the ones that Pepsi gave out with cartoon characters on them and some that came with jelly, etc. Nice goodies. I have 3 boxes of those that I can part with. Hate to do it, but nowhere to display them and I have a huge stockpile of other ones out there in case I break the ones I'm using. I like Pepi-La-Pew and Roadrunner, and Wiley Coyote. Fun to drink out of and my big hands fit in to wash them. Neat.

Also found some LC Smith Red Glass Moon and Stars pattern Canister Sets. Didn't know I had so many! All I really need is one full (4 piece set). I think I have about 6 of them with loads of extra misc ones. Wow. Those should bring some money. Now I need to take all the wrappings off so I can count and take pictures and then call places to see who will come HERE to take a look and either buy all the stuff, or will hold a sale (for a percentage) and give me the rest. I just can't see having a yard sale, with all that BREAKABLE stuff and the hot sun, and haggling. Hate haggling. And I don't want to tell parents to curb their children. They don't take kindly to that.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009871
04/08/15 10:13 PM
04/08/15 10:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Harvest is the best part of a garden happydance Do the critters leave you anything to harvest?

My dad used to plant a garden behind his garden for the critters to eat.

Sorta, you really need to open an E-bay shop.

We are just back from taking daughter to Mellow Mushroom for GF pizza. She loves to go there as GF pizza is hard to find.

I'm off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1009873
04/08/15 10:42 PM
04/08/15 10:42 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi all. I hope you all had a great day. I worked tonight to swap with another caregiver. This is supposed to be my day off but she'd do it for me. Barbara Bliss has a sister in from Minnesota for a week. Nice to see her again. Well, I'm going to bed as I'm out of energy. I've been watching "Game of Thrones on HBO. What series. I'm hooked.

Night all.

Midgie hearts sleep


Just do it.
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