GAMEBOOMERS provides you with all the latest PC adventure computer games information, forum, walkthroughs, reviews and news.

GB Reviews

Latest & Upcoming Adventure Games

GB Annual Game Lists

GB Interviews

BAAGS

GB @ acebook

About Us

Walkthroughs

free games galore

Game Publishers & Developers

World of Adventure

Patches

GB @ witter

GameBoomers Store

Print Thread
Tuesday's #1010421
04/13/15 06:04 PM
04/13/15 06:04 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
John Mendoza
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.

The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!""That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

"That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! ... Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"

"Yup, shore am!"

"How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."

The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."

The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The "Buffolo Theory" of Beer..

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that's why beer is so GOOD for you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened.

"I did a terrible thing," sniffed the drunk, "Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Southern Comfort."

"That is awful," said the other guy, "And now that she is gone you want her back right?"

"Right!" said the drunk, still crying.

"You're sorry you sold her because you realised, too late, that you still loved her,right?"

"Oh, No," said the drunk. I want her back because I'm thirsty again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up
her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BLEEP!" she screamed.

"OH Wow," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other:

"If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"

"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."

"Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"

"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy.

"What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired the first fellow.

"My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"

"Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Here we go again. 24 hours later and I've got a nuther 3:30 wake up. tired


3:30 came really early this morning.....or was that yesterday? think


It can always be worse. I don't know how, but I know it can. headscratch


I imagine it'll come to me at about midnight when I wake up having to potty, and can't go back to sleep. razz


Have a great day everyone. yes


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010429
04/13/15 07:37 PM
04/13/15 07:37 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Here's to a good nights sleep and a quick workday. Then you get a day off! Woohoo!
Have a happy day Joe and all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010432
04/13/15 08:37 PM
04/13/15 08:37 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
thumbsup on the jokes Joe. lol


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010439
04/13/15 09:53 PM
04/13/15 09:53 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a terrific Tuesday Joe, Ana, Space Quest and all who come in after me. wave

It's Monday night for me, and I have to be up for yet another early work day in the morning. smile

Hope everyone has a great day. spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010470
04/14/15 05:52 AM
04/14/15 05:52 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
spring Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, venus and all. Coffee is ready and so is Tuesday! Happy Day! spring


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010477
04/14/15 06:32 AM
04/14/15 06:32 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. I've been working in the greenhouse, cleaning and organizing. I have most of hubby's 95 orchids re-potted. Now that it's hot again they will go outside under the shelter Scott just rebuilt. Then he will start replacing bad wood and shade cloth in the greenhouse. Hubby built it about 30 years ago. Robert is working on the pool getting it ready. All the boys have been busy helping me get things back in order. Danish, Apple Turnovers, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010485
04/14/15 07:17 AM
04/14/15 07:17 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers: kitty

Joe, thanks for the laughs. Hope you have an easy workday today.

Ana, enjoy the day!

Space, good morning.

Venus, happy day at work.

Gerry, coffee needed. Thanks!

Connie, glad your Greenhouse is coming along.

Brother and SIL are back from Florida and will be visiting today. chocobunny


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010486
04/14/15 07:23 AM
04/14/15 07:23 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. I'm off to work again but tomorrow is my day off Woohoo. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Barbara's sister will be leaving this morning to fly home in Minnesota. She's been here a week. Boy, that went by fast.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Midge] #1010498
04/14/15 10:01 AM
04/14/15 10:01 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Tuesday's terrific!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010500
04/14/15 10:20 AM
04/14/15 10:20 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe may today fly and go well. Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Ana I think Spring has sprung here also! I see some buds on the Lilac trees!!! Have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

venus may work be fun and time fly! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Connie so nice of the boys to fix up the greenhouse for you!! Bet it looks lovely with all those Orchids!! thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Gail have a nice visit with brother and SIL! Have a lovely day!

Midge prayers for a safe flight for her sister. Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smoothly and you have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010521
04/14/15 01:39 PM
04/14/15 01:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Daughter very hesitantly woke me up this morning to go run the doggies before the rain starts. Rolled out, geared up, got to the park, grabbed the clean up bags to discover there was only 1 eek I know there was a full roll in there a couple of days ago so that roll must be sitting in the pocket of a pair of my shorts in the laundry.

Then home to feed doggies and shower up and then eat and clean up the kitchen. Dishwasher and clotheswasher both running. Daughter made waffles and bacon and then she and her friend left to go get pedicures.

Friend is going into the hospital today to be induced. She is a tiny little thing and the doctor is worried that baby will be too big if they wait. They are saying baby is already 8 1/2 lbs. I don't see how she will deliver one that big, so the waiting and praying game will commence.

Finally I have made it to the computer and am going to sit and sip and relax and surf for a bit before life commences again.

Joe, love the quote rotfl

Connie, sounds like quite the labor of love.

Gail, enjoy your visit.

Back later wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1010537
04/14/15 04:17 PM
04/14/15 04:17 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon everyone. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010541
04/14/15 05:11 PM
04/14/15 05:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Afternoon, Space wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010543
04/14/15 05:24 PM
04/14/15 05:24 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Wow, bad day. Woke up at 6 with full blown nose bleed. Finally ended up in the emergency room. Had all kinds of problems there. Blood pressure went down to 60 systolic. Panic in the ER. They got it back up. Reason for the drop was too much blood in the stomach. Got the bleeding stopped. One of the ENT's came by and sprayed some powder up my nose to help prevent it from starting again. I feel zonked out. Gotta go fix dinner then going to just take it easy the rest of the day and tomorrow. I have had enough of this.

Bets


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1010546
04/14/15 06:29 PM
04/14/15 06:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Oh my gosh, Bets! That is scary. Glad you are home. Take it easy! Hugs to you puppy

Speaking of fixing dinner, off to cook wave

Dinner dined and cleaned up. Had a heart attack in the middle of it when I realized I did not know if Kentucky Bourbon is GF or not. We shall find out eek Daughter's system is pretty sensitive sad

Off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep

Last edited by looney4labs; 04/14/15 09:08 PM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1010556
04/14/15 09:26 PM
04/14/15 09:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread

Moderated by  BrownEyedTigre 

Who's Online Now
1 registered members (Pandora), 273 guests, and 0 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Staff, Mod
Newest Members
PierreLombardo, Dux, WillPowerGoat, Ebalon, J7769mon
9388 Registered Users
Powered by UBB.threads™