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Terrific Tuesday #1011205
04/20/15 07:49 PM
04/20/15 07:49 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Peter OToole
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


How To Tell You've
Been In College Too Long...


You consider McDonald's "real food."

You actually like doing laundry at home.

4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.

It starts getting late on the weeknights.

Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it.

You'd rather clean than study.

Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal.

Computer Solitaire is more than a game, it's a way of life.

You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps.You know the pizza boy by name.

You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.

You live for getting mail. (E-mail included)

Prank phone calls become funny again.

Wal-Mart is the coolest store.

World War III could take place and you'd be clueless.

You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.

Blacklights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.

Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.

You find out milk crates have so many uses.

The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday (or Wednesday morning to Tuesday night).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


58 Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

3. Saftey Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

4. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

5. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

6. Farmer Bill Dies In House

7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

8. Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?

9. Stud Tires Out

10. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

11. Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over

12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again

13. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands

14. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms

15. Eye Drops Off Shelf

16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

17. Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

19. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

21. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

22. Miners Refuse to Work After Death

23. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

24. Stolen Painting Found By Tree

25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

26. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

27. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years

28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84

30. War Dims Hope For Peace

31. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

32. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

35. Deer Kill 17,000

36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

37. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

38. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

39. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

41. Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy

42. Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire

43. British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply

44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

46. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

49. Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing

50. Air Head Fired

51. Steals Clock, Faces Time

52. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

53. Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni

54. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board

55. Hospitals are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

56. Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction

57. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

58. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Murphy's Law regarding Children

1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.

4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

5. Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

6. If the shoe fits..it's expensive.

7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

9. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

10. The more challenging the child, the more rewarding it is to be a parent..sometimes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.


Rise and shine.


I'm thinking maybe I should call this place, "Joe's Jolly Jokes."


You know, as opposed to the unjolly kind.".


Kind of like when I used to turn the well pump off in the middle of my sister's shower.


Boy do I miss those good old days.


I read a new book recently called, 'How To Lie and Make Folks Laugh'.


Ok I've gotta be back at the asylum at 6:00am, and that's no lie. Just an unpleasant truth.


Have a happy day everyone.



joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/20/15 07:50 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011234
04/20/15 10:34 PM
04/20/15 10:34 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe and Happy Tuesday! I hope you all have a great day!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011252
04/21/15 01:30 AM
04/21/15 01:30 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all who come in later. wave
Have all a great day. smile happydance


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011262
04/21/15 04:49 AM
04/21/15 04:49 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Online happy
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Online Happy
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
spring Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and everyone. Coffee is ready Enjoy your day! spring


Gerry
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011270
04/21/15 06:35 AM
04/21/15 06:35 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning all my Diner friends. Gail, it has been very hot with lots of storms. We're having June and July weather since March. May everyone have a Terrific Tuesday. Danish, Blueberry Muffins, and French Toast in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011278
04/21/15 07:31 AM
04/21/15 07:31 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers puppy

Joe, your jokes are always jolly.

Ana, enjoy whatever the day brings.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. Can't start the day without it.

Connie, my brother just came back from Daytona after being there 6 months and he's freezing here. penguin

Wishing every Boomer a super wonderful day! lab


Gail
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: GBC] #1011289
04/21/15 09:59 AM
04/21/15 09:59 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Terrific Tuesday goes easy peasy!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011295
04/21/15 10:31 AM
04/21/15 10:31 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Good morning everybody!!

I was standing in the bedroom and looked out the window at a cloudy day. Left there and went to the living room and looked out and it was really snowing out. lol Must be in the "twilight zone" lol

May all have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011301
04/21/15 11:02 AM
04/21/15 11:02 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Nan, we were at freezing this morning too, with winchills in the low 20's. No snow though thank goodness!

Connie, please blow some of that weather my way!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011324
04/21/15 01:02 PM
04/21/15 01:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Rolled out of bed and grabbed the doggies and the daughter and hit the park. It is a totally gorgeous day out there. Blue sky and sun...woohooo! It was even cool! One could not ask for more happydance

Then home to clean up, feed dogs, and feed us. Daughter is cleaning the kitchen and I'm waiting for eggs to come to room temp so I can make daughter a loaf of GF bread. Then I'm collapsing, I think. Leg and foot and back are protesting!

We saw "Home" last night. It's a cute animated movie about an alien invasion. It centers on one alien who just doesn't fit in, but desparately wants to. Very sweet movie. Can't believe I forgot to bring my salt. I don't like the butter salt that is all that is available at the theater so I usually bring my own. Didn't realize I didn't have it til I went to salt the popcorn. Ate the popcorn anyway lol

Hubby is coming home early today, but I think daughter will be gone all afternoon. Such is life.

Back later wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: looney4labs] #1011350
04/21/15 04:14 PM
04/21/15 04:14 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
afternoon Boomers wave

Been Beautiful Sunny 70's all week and now
today is grey gloomy smirk

Brunie is doing good! he goes back to the Vets
on Thursday to see if his drains can come out?
his cheeks are still swollen he looks like a
chipmunk! snicker poor guy~
my brother went over to neighbors last night and talked
to the dogs owner that chewed Brun up and he said we
had no prove it was his dog that did it!! then he shut the door in my brothers face!! what a doo doo head!
is their anything we can do?? mad
we called animal control but we live way out in the
country so they don't do much~

Been kinda sick~ I'm really tired and cold
all the time~ I wish they would hurry up with
my dialysis so I could feel better~

Man Nan!! that is weird!! eek

Oh Ana that is sooo cold!! stay warm friend! hearts

to all other Boomers have a nice day~Karen


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011351
04/21/15 04:20 PM
04/21/15 04:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Oh, Doc, so sorry you are not feeling well. I wish they'd hurry up too! It is so sad that irresponsible people are allowed to own dogs. He probably knows his dog did it because it's most likely done it before. Grrrrr!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011354
04/21/15 04:32 PM
04/21/15 04:32 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011355
04/21/15 04:39 PM
04/21/15 04:39 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Hugs Doc!

SpaceQ wave

L4L, how long is daughter staying for?


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011358
04/21/15 04:48 PM
04/21/15 04:48 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Afternoon, Space wave

Ana, she will be here till the end of the month.

Ana, how's your shoulder doing? Can't believe it's so cold up there puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Terrific Tuesday [Re: gymcandy1] #1011361
04/21/15 05:36 PM
04/21/15 05:36 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
My shoulders are getting there! Only 7 more PT sessions and I can go back to my gym to slowly start getting back to normalcy. yay
Are you enjoying your visit?


Don't feed the Trolls
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