People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about the state of your body.
Geoffrey Parfitt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A hypnotist was visiting the aquarium during feeding time. "You know," the hypnotist said to the man feeding the fierce shark, "I could hypnotize that shark."

"You’re crazy! He’ll rip you limb from limb," the feeder said, laughing. "But, hey, if you’re so brave, be my guest."

The hypnotist jumped in, swam to the shark and stared it in the eye for a full minute. The animal paused, blinked, and then tore into him. The bleeding man slowly made his way out of the tank.

"I thought you could hypnotize him," sneered the feeder.

"I did," the hypnotist said, holding his arm. "Now he thinks he’s an alligator."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Nice dog. What’s its name?” I asked my friend’s 10-year-old son.

“Bob,” he said.

“And your cat?”

“Bob.”

“How do you keep them straight?”

“Well one is Bob Cat and the other is Bob Barker,” the boy answered.

“Tell him your rabbit’s name,” his father suggested.

The kid smiled and said, “Dennis Hopper.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink with a dish drainer inverted over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered the turkey.

Our daughter turned to my wife and said, “Mom, you always did it that way.” “Yes,” my wife replied, “but you don’t have a cat!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My brother adopted a snake named Slinky, whose most disagreeable trait was eating live mice. Once I was pressed into going to the pet store to buy Slinky’s dinner.

The worst part of this wasn’t choosing the juiciest-looking creatures or turning down the clerk who wanted to sell me vitamins to ensure their longevity. The hardest part was carrying the poor things out in a box bearing the words "Thank you for giving me a home."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lost in the woods, a hiker spends two days wandering around with no food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle, hits the bird with a big rock and eats it. A park ranger stumbles on the scene and arrests the man for killing an endangered species. In court, the hiker explains that he was on the edge of starvation and had no choice.

“Considering the circumstances, I find you not guilty,” says the judge. “But I have to ask—what did the eagle taste like?”

“Well, Your Honor,” the hiker replies, “it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My friend’s husband, Ray, is a state trooper and enjoys sharing the excuses people use when stopped for speeding. One day, however, the tables were turned. Ray maintains an aquarium of exotic fish, and a prized specimen had threatened to turn belly up. The off-duty officer called a pet store, and they advised him to immediately purchase a special additive that would correct the water’s pH.

Ray and his wife jumped into the car and rushed to the store. A state trooper signaled them to pull over. “Go ahead,” Ray’s wife said. “Tell him you’ve got a sick fish!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked “Electronic cat and dog call—guaranteed to work.” I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My niece bought her five-year-old daughter, Kayleigh, a hamster. One day he escaped from his cage. The family turned the house upside down and finally found him. Several weeks later, while Kayleigh was at school, he escaped from his cage again. My niece searched frantically but never found the critter. Hoping to make the loss less painful for Kayleigh, my niece took the cage out of her room.

When Kayleigh came home from school that afternoon, she climbed into her mother’s lap. “We’ve got a serious problem,” she announced. “Not only is my hamster gone again, but this time he took the cage.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.


I have anutter early morning rise. More like a late night rise when you get up at 3:30am.


Then again, I may have to call in an tell them I can't be there, because I have a sick fish to care for.


His forehead is all wet and clammy.


I was trying to take his temperature, but he kept spitting the thermometer out, until I put a worm on it.


Not sure what I'll do about my dead pet worm now.


I guess I already gave him like a burial at sea................kind of.


Ok, a burial at fish tank.


Glub glub


I'm not going to sing the fish head song, cause that would probably be over-kill.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Joe! You made me laugh out loud.
Sorry for the early rise, but you'll be home before you know it then!

I'm having new windows and patio door installed today, so my house will be in upheaval. It already has been for days because we had to move a lot of stuff.

Have a great day all!

Ana

Hello Joe and Ana

Joe, I'll let you take 3:30 while I take 4:30 for the next three mornings...they say the early bird gets the worm...but I don't care for the taste any more...used to as a kid so my mom says

Hey Ana...whoa, new windows and patio door will be fantastic...can't wait to hear back from you at job's completion

Happy Toosday everyone...wishing you the best today!

Have a great Tuesday Joe, Ana, Soot and all my fellow Boomers.

Joe, that's about when I'm getting up, too. Hope work flies by, and have fun with your fish.

Hope the upheaval is worth it, Ana, and that your windows and patio door turn out great.

Soot, I'm glad you lost your taste for worms. Hope you have a great day.

Have a great Tuesday as well, Space Quest.

It's Monday night for me. Tomorrow's my birthday, but it's going to be another crazy day at work, which means it's just . . . an ordinary day. Oh, well, at least I'll have kitties and games waiting for me when I get home.

Hope everyone has a terrific Tuesday.

soot, the current ones are 35 years old. It was way past time! I'm looking forward to it being done. Have a wonderful day!

SpaceQ, have a great day!

venus, kitties and games sounds great! THorsgoat has to work?

Thanks, Ana! Yes, Thorsgoats has to work. He goes in later than I do, so I'll be home first . . . probably. At least I hope so.

with your project!

Enjoy your quiet time before he comes home venus!

Ana

Good morning,have all a happy day.
Venus

Good Morning Joe, Ana, soot, SpaceQ, venus, and Haroula. Joe I'm up early and I'm retired! Ana good luck with the window install! Soot worms yuck! SpaceQ keep smiling. Venus Happy Birthday. Have a cake for you in the diner along with Joe's coffee! Haroula enjoy your day. Happy Day wished for everyone!

Good morning everyone. To all here and all who stop by later have a Great Tuesday. Venus, Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. We're getting a Hot Tub. One of Robert's customers is giving it to him. His customer's wife wants the space for something else. Now we have to ready a space for it under shelter by the pool. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Sausage Biscuits in the NC. Biscuit Bottoms for L4L.

Ooh Connie, thank you for the BB pancakes. Just what I wanted this morning for breakfast yum. Well, I'm off to work. Have a great day everyone. Pay it forward for someone. It'll make you feel good.

Midgie

Good Morning Boomers:

Wishing everyone a super wonderful day. Venus.

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Early morning for you, but early to get home! Have a great Tuesday!

venus! Woohoo and booyah!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Gonna be a nice day here. Cool but sunny. I'm waiting for my Yard Kid to arrive. He's full of tales of woe. After quitting (or getting fired) from IKEA, he got a job at a place that does commercial painting and window washing, etc. I knew that wasn't going to last and it didn't. So he's gone for over a month, and he calls, on a different phone number, and asks if there is any work. Seems he's been at his 'sister's' in Colorado because she is sick (that's his go to excuse). He comes back desperate for work/money and in a week it seems he has had his truck impounded, ditto for a motorhome he bought for 400 bucks (so he says). Something about loaning the truck to his mother up North and she parked it on the street on street sweeping day and the motorhome was also impounded for street parking after he left it with 'a friend' in his yard, and the friend moved it to the street.

I am assuming, although he won't admit it, that neither vehicle was registered, or insured, etc. He also said he got his driver's license, but can't seem to produce it for me. I'll keep trying. In any case, he comes back from Colorado and finds he can no longer live with his 'sister-in-law' (who is actually his non-brother's ex-wife) and with whom he is sleeping (since he was 18 and is now 23). She has a restraining order on him from 2 years ago but she disregarded it so they could be together and he could pay all the bills.

I think she got fed up with no money when he quit/got fired again, so she kicked him out and he was living on the couch in someone's living room for a few weeks. Now he's been kicked out of there and is living in a motel. Geez! In any case, I can't get him to admit he's on the outs with the 'girlfriend' but I assume that's it. He says it's because of Welfare payments to her and he can't live there. HE is eligible for Welfare too, just on his learning disabilities. Such strange tales. I tend not to believe much he tells me.

So he is coming again today to make a few bucks doing yard work (dusty, nasty, dirty stuff). Right now he really needs money for the motel and food. I always give him food when he's here. Wish he could get his act together and live like regular guys do, but he will never be able to. No mom to raise him (she gave him away to family member's when he was 6 and she remarried). Bounced from house to house all his life. Dropped out of school (was in special classes) and just wouldn't listen to me that he should get that diploma. I knew his teacher and she was doing well with him. Too bad, he just wanted to grow up fast and that stupid sister-in-law had 'plans' for him. Not liking her at all. She looked at him as a meal ticket. He tried very hard, but they kept getting evicted from their apartments. FOUR times in 1 year!

So now we wait and see what stories he has to tell today. I'm going to ask to see his Driver's License picture. He will have an excuse why he doesn't have it yet. Been plenty of time so should be in his pocket. Sigh. At least my weeds will be chopped down and he will earn some much needed cash today.

Terrific Tuesday ya'll

I woke up bright and early but stayed in bed as I didn't have time to walk the monkeys before I had to leave to go feed the vampire. When I finally got there, there was a big sign saying there was no doctor today. Had to wait for them to open to be sure the blood guy was there.

Then home to feed poor neglected dogs. After that I started cooking books, but son told me it had cooled off out there so I grabbed the 4-legged ones and we took a walk. Now, it's back to the books for me.

It is cloudy and windy out there today but me and Sassy made sure we got our mile in. Some places north of here had white precip. Oh where has Spring gone???

venus Happy Birthday!!! Sorry you have to work!

Ana good luck with the window project! I'm sure it will be lovely when they are all done.

L4l hope the vampire tests are a-o-kay!!

Have a lovely day everybody!!!


Nan

Oh my goodness, Nan. I hope Spring comes back quickly for you all. I'm sure the tests will be fine. New doc so new tests

Cold here too. I've had my winter coat all day since they took the windows out. It's such a damp cold from the crazy rains we've had.

You can keep the white stuff north of you please Nan!

it is cooler here too but I like it.

Thanks for the birthday wishes.

Nan, snow? Really? It felt like summer here today. I can send you some heat if you'd like, but I don't want any snow, either.

Hope it warms up for you as well, Ana!

Hope it stays cold for you, Space Quest.

I'm off to sleep, as I have another long day of work in the morning. If I don't have time to post, which I most likely won't, I hope everyone has a terrific Wednesday.

Off to bed, sweet dreams all

Sleep well, L4L.

Good night Boomers.

Good night to all going to bed soon. I'll be among them. I hope you all had a good day. I worked another split shift today.not a bad day though. All is well at the Blisses. Tomorrow I have my day off. Chiropractor's first, then the dentist. Then I'll meet my good friend for an iced tea at Duncan Donuts. Can't wait. She's a Love. So I'll say good night all and see you in the morning.

Midgie

Sweet dreams all...long day!

Hello everyone.

I'm so tired I can't think straight. After work I rushed home, and got ready to head out for the creek. I was afraid the water would still be too high, and it's still higher, but not so high I couldn't search for heads. The flood made major changes at the creek. Trees down, sand bars moved around. It was exciting to see the changes. A lot of rock, and sand, and gravel has been exposed. Still, I trecked 3/4 of the way down the creek, for nearly 3 hours before I found This Little Beauty. After another hours of looking, This Dandy .

The mosquitos were a thick as ever after the rain, but I was soaked down with Deep Woods Off, and I walked through them without getting any bites. I did have one tick on my back when I got back home.

I didn't see one snake today. The rain drove them to higher ground.

I'm off tomorrow. We're supposed to have more rain, but if it doesn't get here I may go back to the creek.

It's time to get a new day started.

Have a nive evening everyone.

joe

WooHoo Joe! They're beauties! Hope you find more tomorrow! I can't go with you, I'm super allergic to mosquito bites. I get huge red welts that drive me crazy with itching. They usually are larger than a silver dollar in size and the itching is horrible.
Andrea