Hey everyboomie.
I just got home, and I've gotta get a shower and get something to eat, but we have storms headed this way. We have tornado watch, and flash flood warnings, and I wanted to get this started just incase I can't post after I eat.
Hopefully I'll be back and finish this.
joe....
Some Jokes Anyway 
Real Excuses Tenants Gave for Not Paying Rent
• “I have to make payments on my BMW and iPhones.”
• “You are too wrapped up in the whole concept of ‘money. ’ ”
• “So … you’re talking to me only
because the rent’s not paid? Is that all I am to you? A tenant?”
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Worst Insurance Claims Ever
If you were an auto insurer, would you have paid these actual claims?
“In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”
“I didn’t think the speed limit
applied after midnight.”
“The car in front hit the pedestrian, but he got up so I hit him again.”
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I was working in Army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. Knowing my tough-to-spell last name would give him fits, I said, “Just put down Sergeant Gary, as my last name is too hard.”
The next day, I received a letter addressed to Sgt. Gary Toohard.
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Scene: My cousin Matt and his daughter at Chick-fil-A.
Matt: Can I please get a four-piece kids’ meal with white milk. [Pause] Oh, and gimme an extra white milk.
Clerk: Um … We only have one kind of milk, and it’s pretty white.
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Scene: Inside a Best Buy store.
Customer: Can you help me? I’m looking for a shredder.
Coworker: We have all types of shredders. What will you be shredding primarily?
Customer: Collard greens.
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A military base commander called to complain that the weather-forecasting software our company created for them kept reporting
unexplainable wind shifts.
“Do you know where the sensor is located?” my coworker asked.
“Of course,” he responded. “It’s where we park the helicopters.”
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When I bought beer at the
grocery store, the clerk asked for
my birthdate.
I said, “10-3-60.”
Her next question: “Is that ‘19’ 60?”
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What are My Options?
Scene: Me using the Siri app on my iPhone.
Me: Siri, call my wife.
Siri: Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts.
Me: Samantha Gibbs is my wife.
Siri: I’ve added Samantha Gibbs as your wife.
Me: Call my wife.
Siri: Which wife?
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Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Have a lovely day!
