The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
Robert Frost
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A hotel minibar allows you to
see into the future and find out what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.
Comedian Rich Hall
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That Sounds Exhausting
My granddaughter was
graduating from college, so I asked about any plans she had for the
future. She hadn’t any, but she
did know this much: “I certainly don’t want to sit in one of those
cubicles and think all day.”
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Q: How far can a fox run into a grove?
A: Only halfway—then he’s running out of it!
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Q: I travel all over the world, but always stay in my corner. What am I?
A: A stamp.
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Q: With pointed fangs I sit and wait; with piercing force I crunch out fate; grabbing victims, proclaiming might; physically joining with a single bite. What am I?
A: A stapler
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A Teenage DreamMy 11-year-old grandson spent
a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, “Someday, you’re going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom’s basement playing video games all day!”
His reply: “I can only dream.”
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My First Job…
I got my first full-time job, but I could have sworn I was making more money in college, working for my parents as their daughter.
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Snappy Answers from Little KidsAfter catching her five-year-old son Lucas trying to pull a fast one, his mother demanded, “Do you think I have idiot written on my forehead?”
Lucas answered, “I don’t know. I can’t read.”
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Parenting, the Dad-Joke Way
My ten-month-old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place. My wife said to me, “Straighten her up.”
I looked at my daughter and said, “What are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this way forever? It’s time to grow up.”
My wife hasn’t asked me to do anything since.
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A White Easter
A friend knew that she’d overdone it with the gifts and candy last Easter when her six-year-old woke up to all the booty and shouted, “This is the best Christmas ever!”
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Good morning everyboomie.
This staying up until I turn into a pumkin is growing old faster than I am, which is saying something.
I could have made a few hundred pumkin pies and sold them by now.
My next day off is now only one work day away.
I've still gotta go and get my shower before Pepper destroys the kitchen.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
We didn't walk yesterday, so I know it wasn't overheating. 
