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Surf & Turf Saturdiner #1015709
05/22/15 07:38 PM
05/22/15 07:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
I have never worked out the moral to Humpty Dumpty. Is it, “Don’t let horses perform medical procedures”? —Ricky Gervais

```````````````````


Hot-Crossed Pastors

When my husband, James Rowles, was in the seminary, he was invited to preach at a small rural church. However, the man who was to introduce him to the congregation had trouble pronouncing his name. So James 
offered this verbal clue: “Remember rolls, like hot buttered rolls.”
It worked. When it came time 
for the introduction, the man announced, “We are pleased to have with us the Reverend James Biscuits.”
```````````````````


Airman Express

My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didn’t salute. My friend stopped, turned around, and glared at the airman.

“Thanks for coming back for me,” the airman said, jumping on the back of the scooter. “Airmen’s mess, sir.”

````````````````````


Sgt. Nimrod

I was working in Army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. Knowing my tough-to-spell last name would give him fits, I said, “Just put down Sergeant Gary, as my last name is too hard.”

The next day, I received a letter addressed to Sgt. Gary Toohard.

```````````````````````


Piping Up

A Scottish mother visits her 
son in his New York City apartment and asks, “How do you find the Americans, Donald?”

“Mother,” says Donald, “they’re such noisy people. One neighbor won’t stop banging his head against the wall, while the other screams and screams all night long.”

“Oh, Donald! How do you manage to put up with them?”

“What can I do? I just lie in bed quietly, playing my bagpipes.”

```````````````````


Is Your Boss This Dumb?

While taking stock of our 
products, I read aloud the final 
numbers to my boss. As he entered each one into a calculator, I deleted it off my mobile device. Only after 
I’d finished did we realize that he had entered the numbers on his 
desk phone’s keypad.

``````````````````


The Egg Corn Game

A few years back, a woman wanted 
to use the word acorns. What 
she wrote instead was egg corns, 
and ever since, linguists have had 
a new toy: eggcorns, words and phrases that people screw up:

• Social leopard (social leper)

• Mute point (moot point)

• Skimp milk (skimmed milk)

• Youthamism (euphemism)

• 
Holidays sauce 
(Hollandaise sauce)

````````````````````````

Mallory Ortberg on Cooking Blogs

Food blogs are rife with pressing questions, helpful hints, and caustic comments from readers. One site took a jaundiced look at what one might expect to find on such boards.

• “I don’t eat white flour, so I tried making it with raw almonds that I’d activated by chewing with my mouth open to receive direct sunlight, and it turned out terrible. This recipe is terrible.”

• “I don’t have an oven; can 
I still make this? Please reply 
immediately.”

• “A warning that if you 
cook this at 275°F for three hours instead of at 400°F for 
25 minutes, it’s completely 
ruined. Do you have any 
suggestions?”

````````````````````````


Eggxclaimed in the Office

Employee #1: I wouldn’t eat caviar. That’s fish eggs!

Employee #2: I’d try it. After all, I eat chicken eggs.

Employee #3: You eat chicken eggs?!

```````````````````


Bad Work Excuses

Thinking of skipping work? Don’t try these real excuses—they didn’t work the first time.

• My false teeth flew out the window while I was driving down the highway.

• I quit smoking and I’m grouchy.

• My favorite football team lost 
on Sunday, so I needed Monday to 
recover.

• I received a threatening phone 
call from the electric company and needed to report it to the FBI.

• I got lost and ended up in a 
different state.

``````````````````````````

PLEASE Don’t Administer Orally

My teenage patient’s mother was concerned. “He must have a temperature,” she said. “He hasn’t taken our motorcycle out all day.”

“Let me ask you,” I said. “Do you have a thermometer?”

“No,” she said. “A Kawasaki.”

```````````````````````

Which West is that?

“Why did you choose a college so far from home?” I asked my British student.

She explained that she’d fallen 
in love with the American West by watching Westerns. So when it came time to apply for colleges, she Googled “Western universities.”

And that’s how she ended up here, at Western Carolina University.

````````````````````

Good Moning eveyboomie. welcome


It's been quite a day here, defined by water.


I tried going head hunting, but didn't get much time at it because of thr rain starting. sad


I was hoping to do a lot of hunting before it rained again. razz


At my home town where I grew up in Texas, our average annual rain fall was 20 inches. yes


Before today, we have received 13 inches locally...........this month. crazy That's cazy man.


It's still raining currantly, and we have a forcast of another 4 to 6 inches before Monday. shocked


Funny huh? haha


Ok have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


I have to get up at 3:30.



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015713
05/22/15 08:28 PM
05/22/15 08:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Saturday everyone. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015718
05/22/15 08:57 PM
05/22/15 08:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Hope you dry out and find out some points Joe! I found a broken one the other day at the river. It's been a long time since I've come across one.

Have a happy day Joe, SpaceQ and all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015740
05/23/15 02:36 AM
05/23/15 02:36 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Have a great Saturday Joe, SpaceQ, Ana and all. happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015743
05/23/15 05:02 AM
05/23/15 05:02 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, Haroula and All! Coffee is ready. I'll be away for a while and my not be posting. Enjoy the long weekend! wave wave


Gerry
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015749
05/23/15 06:48 AM
05/23/15 06:48 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who join us later, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Sausage Biscuits in the NC. Biscuit bottoms for L4L. spring


Connie
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015760
05/23/15 09:25 AM
05/23/15 09:25 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great Saturday Joe, Space Quest, Ana, Haroula, Gerry, Connie and all who come in after me. wave

I have a three day weekend! happydance Today, Thorsgoats and I are going to have a nice breakfast and then catch up on some games. thumbsup

Hope everyone has a terrific Saturday. spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015764
05/23/15 09:50 AM
05/23/15 09:50 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Haroula, have a great day!

Gerry, I hope everything is okay. hearts

Connie, how's things?

Venus, have a wonderful long weekend!

I have my annual gathering here tomorrow so I've been getting the house and patio ready to party.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015776
05/23/15 11:25 AM
05/23/15 11:25 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Hubby and I and the dogs got out early for our walk. Challenged the hills in our neighborhood. It was in the 70's...shade was appreciated, sun not so much. Home now and contemplating yard work eek My dad loved yard work but he most definitely did not pass that gene to me.


Joe, I love the Food Blog jokes.

Space, have fun whatever you do.

Ana, how's the neighbor situation? Ohhhh, you are going to be busy today, but you will have fun. Are you used to the windows yet?

Haroula, wave

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. We will miss you.

Connie, biscuit bottoms happydance

Venus,have fun playing.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015780
05/23/15 11:59 AM
05/23/15 11:59 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Well, I can't say good morning all, wait....for 5 more minutes it's still morning. I think I can post this in time. I'm in a cleaning mode so that's what I'll be doing for a couple of hours. I hope you all have a wonderful day today. Ana I'll be over to help you cause I just keep going when the cleaning mood hits me. smile

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: Midge] #1015784
05/23/15 12:20 PM
05/23/15 12:20 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Surf & Turf Saturdiner goes easy peasy!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's a 3-day weekend!!! Fantastic! Nothing big planned today. Phone chat with best bud in a few minutes. Later, grilling salmon, I think! smile Like I said, easy peasy!

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015787
05/23/15 12:43 PM
05/23/15 12:43 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
It rained last night. Wet smell of earth all over. Nice!

Be sure to see Sorta's Neighborhood. New stuff yesterday. Really a fun day.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: Sorta Blonde] #1015796
05/23/15 02:13 PM
05/23/15 02:13 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
It is a beautiful day here today. lab


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015801
05/23/15 02:59 PM
05/23/15 02:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
L4L, I've had my hands full with her. I don't know where to begin to even talk about it.

Everyone enjoy your day! THe weather is perfect here!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015847
05/23/15 09:55 PM
05/23/15 09:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Checking in to say good night all. Split shift tomorrow. Have a great weekend all. God Bless.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1015848
05/23/15 10:15 PM
05/23/15 10:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
We are off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Surf & Turf Saturdiner [Re: looney4labs] #1015854
05/23/15 11:27 PM
05/23/15 11:27 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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