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Tuesday's #1016098
05/26/15 12:27 AM
05/26/15 12:27 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
The worst time to have a heart 
attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri Martin
`````````````````````````````

Does That Come in Super-Size?

A friend was ordering her meal at a drive-through when she noticed she could get a side dish gratis.
“And I’ll take the free wiffie also,” she said.
“What?” asked the clerk.
“The free wiffie,” she said, pointing to the sign.
“Ma’am, that’s ‘Free Wi-Fi.’ ”

````````````````````````````

Snappy Answers to Bad Résumés

Professionals at the staffing agency Robert Half International have seen a lot of peculiar résumés. Here are some favorite gaffes, followed by wisecracks from the pros:

• Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.” (The pajama party starts at 7 p.m.)
• Tools: “Human brain 1.0.” (We’ll wait for the upgrade.)
• References: “My landscaper.” 
(A reference who will give you two green thumbs up.)
• Date of Employment: “2002–9999.” (She’s earned her gold watch!)
• Experience: “Worked successfully on a team of one.” (I assume you all got along?)

``````````````````````````

No—I Prefer to Push

Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car’s tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, “When were you last driving the car?”
“Last night at 11:00,” I said.
“And the tires were on it then?”

``````````````````````````

Sharknado Truthers

Scene: A secondhand movie 
exchange …
Me: Do you have the DVD of 
Sharknado?
Clerk: Is that a documentary?

```````````````````````

Let Minnow

My husband and I were relaxing on lounge chairs on a Jamaica beach, half listening to a couple walking 
ankle deep in the clear water. The woman was extolling the beauty of the island when suddenly she let out a scream.
“Oh!” she shrieked. “There are fish in here!”

``````````````````````

Well, That’s a Creative Answer…

A student seeking a job at our university was handed an application. He dutifully filled out his name and address. When it came to the entry “length of residence,” he wrote: “Approximately 30 feet.”

```````````````````````

Incumbent Imbecile

Recently I heard the former mayor of Reading, Pennsylvania, 
recount some funny stories about his time in office. One happened while he was running for reelection; he was in a bar and paid for a 
woman’s drink. She thanked him but wondered why a stranger had 
bought her a beer.
“I’m running for mayor,” he told her, “and I want your vote.”
“You got it,” she said, grabbing her glass. “Anyone’s better than the jerk who’s in there now.”

````````````````````

Start With a 5K…

One of our interns asked 
another if she was planning to sign up for the company’s 401(k).
“I’m considering it,” replied the second intern.
Later, the first intern approached me looking concerned.
“I did the math,” she said, “and 401K is almost 250 miles. She’ll never make it!”

`````````````````````````

Seen on an Online Forum:

“I hate audio correct.”

````````````````````````````

Malapropisms on Twitter

“Time heals all wombs.”
“The seizure salad … is so good.”
“I have no clue why people don’t like hammy downs … Who doesn’t like free clothes?”

```````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Did anybody get the number of that tidal wave? shocked


We had the worst day I've seen since I moved to Oklahoma................weather-wise. crazy


We had a couple of tornado warnings, and had to corral all the customers at the front of the store. YIPPIE!!


We got about 6 buckets of rain....................per square inch. eek


I was about to have an stroke waiting to get out of that store, and get home to see if my babies were ok. puppy


They were just fine, and very excited to see me. Almost as excited as I was to see them. woot


I'm really looking forward to seeing my pillow now. hug


Have a happy day everyone.



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016100
05/26/15 01:47 AM
05/26/15 01:47 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Have a happy day Joe and all. happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016118
05/26/15 06:52 AM
05/26/15 06:52 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Joe, I'm glad you and your babies are OK. Ana, more prayers for your neighbor. To all here and all who stop by later, have a Super Tuesday. Danish, Waffles, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016119
05/26/15 06:54 AM
05/26/15 06:54 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers: spring

Joe, must have been a scary day for you. Hope it's better today.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Grocery a dog walk this morning then grocery shopping this afternoon. Wishing everyone a wonderful day! chocobunny

Connie, good morning. Good day wishes!

Last edited by GBC; 05/26/15 06:54 AM.

Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016121
05/26/15 07:15 AM
05/26/15 07:15 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Hey Joe, weather-wise we had the same here -between Austin and Houston and Wow!!!!! scarey plus. My phone would ring and this weather report and at one time telling to evacuate locations. Locations were all around us but not Blue Branch. however Blue is so small they may not include it -population 48 last year. Trees were bent over and swaying all ways and -gosh- it got so bad I called my cousin in Niagara Falls and asked her to pray for us -kits and I. I wasn't going to get out and leave my cats. The tornado hit Elgin and went south through Bastrop County. Whew

ShemerBaby wants to sleep on my lap and I don't want him to. Cats can be so persistant .

Posey possum just disapeared about 3 weeks ago but there are 2 juvenile possums meandering around and they have fine appitites. What could have happened. She was a lovely girl.

Have a happy tuesay all

Sorta, be careful. goodgoodgood The Princess is still with you


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Yankee Clipper] #1016125
05/26/15 09:53 AM
05/26/15 09:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Stay safe with all the weather warnings and have a great Tuesday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Yankee Clipper] #1016126
05/26/15 10:07 AM
05/26/15 10:07 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

Another cloudy overcast monsoon day has begun. I'm really looking forward to getting through it to my day off tomorrow. happydance

I go in today at 2:00.

Yankee it's interesting you mentioning Blue. We have a small community on the North side of Durant called Blue, which is the location of the second tornado touchdown yesterday. It's actually only a few miles from Lowe's. shocked

There was a strong rotation cell that past right over Calera that had my blood pressure up, but no tornado here. The other tornado was South of here in Texas. yes

They don't expect anything so severe today.

I hope it's a nice safe day for all Boomers today. hug

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016128
05/26/15 10:36 AM
05/26/15 10:36 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Glad you and yours are safe Joe! Scary stuff.

Yankee, your little possum friend probably had those babies and deposited them on your doorstep. Then the mommy will go somewhere else to have another litter and leave them behind. Mine do that all the time. The big ones bring little ones to my deck and the big ones disappear. Then one of the little ones grows up in the yard and has babies and then that one leaves the babies. Seems to be the routine. Have babies, find them a good home, and go somewhere else to populate. Posey might show up once or twice in the future, but I suspect she's on to bigger and better digs.

Same thing with 'stray' cats. They seem to have a litter and then when the kittens are old enough, they deposit one or two on different doorsteps and then the mom wanders off hoping they are 'adopted'. I've seen it many times. Usually mom sits at a safe distance and watches the kitten to see if it's taken in. Once that happens, you usually never see the mom again. Amazing how animals know how to find good homes for themselves and their kids.

The raccoons do it too. Big Mom and Dad come for awhile. Then Mom has the kits, and mom takes them to a safe place and brings them back and forth for food. As soon as the little ones can find their own way to the food source, Mom is gone. Kits come back all alone and grow up and then it starts all over.

In the meantime, it's overcast, I've been up most of the night watching the 'house' and although I saw 4 of the 'residents' move out last night, I'm not sure how many more are left or IF they are moving or IF the motorhome will ever leave. Saw a gal coming back from the store at 6 am with a shopping cart full of groceries and taking them directly into the motorhome, so maybe they are stocking up and going to drive away. Time will tell. I'm still not ready for a full 'reveal' on Sorta's Neighborhood with all the details until it's all settled. Way too complicated right now.

Enjoy the day. Going to be a nice quiet morning, I hope!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016130
05/26/15 10:57 AM
05/26/15 10:57 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll

Hubby and I were up early to take the monkeys walking before the heat hits. It was nearly 70 at 5:30. So we walked around and around and back we came.

Hubby got ready and left for work. I worked in the kitchen a bit, fed the dogs, and am getting ready to head out to the farmer's market for honey. Now that I know Local Honey has a season (I did not before), I'm gonna stock up. Today is the first day for the market which will only run for a couple of months. Then a quick stop at the store for a few ingredients for dinner. Then making dinner and tossing in crock pot, followed by collapsing lol

Back in a bit wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016135
05/26/15 11:25 AM
05/26/15 11:25 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies!

Joe and Yankee, so glad you all are safe! I've been following the weather there and it's crazy. Too bad we can't move it all to California!

Have a great day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016136
05/26/15 11:42 AM
05/26/15 11:42 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe glad you and your pets were safe in the storms. May there be NO repeats either!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for all the goodies!

Gail have a lovely day!

Yankee good to hear that you are safe from the storms also!

Darlene have a lovely day!

Sorta have that nice quiet day!

L4l a little of your heat please????? lol Have a lovely day!

Ana hope your neighbor continues to improve daily! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016142
05/26/15 12:30 PM
05/26/15 12:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
I'd happily send the heat to you all. We have storms moving in. Looking very dark out there. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016145
05/26/15 01:06 PM
05/26/15 01:06 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,680
kansas
my10rugrats Offline
Addicted Boomer
my10rugrats  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,680
kansas
joe all that rain we need to send somewhere else. we are getting so waterlogged here too. had a nasty storm move in about 1 am this morning. so fat today is sunshine .suppose to rain the rest of the week too. at this rate hubby will never get the rest of his garden tilled up and planted. sure hope it stops soon. granddaughter is going to texas on the 4th with her boyfriend and his family, got my windows opened today for the first time in a few days since its been chilly. hope everyone has a great day.

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016148
05/26/15 01:21 PM
05/26/15 01:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
We have rain here again today. 3rd day in a row. But not complaining, we are not flooding!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016149
05/26/15 01:34 PM
05/26/15 01:34 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,680
kansas
my10rugrats Offline
Addicted Boomer
my10rugrats  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,680
kansas
our road on the east of us fills up big time, the city makes it worse when they go over it with the road grader. hubby's peas looks like drowned rats.

how are you liking your new windows , ana? i love mine, can open the from the bottom or the top. we still need to replace the kitchen window but that will have to wait a little longer.

Last edited by my10rugrats; 05/26/15 01:37 PM.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1016151
05/26/15 01:40 PM
05/26/15 01:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
We have achieved sunshine this morning Ana. I took Baby out fpr a long walk, and it gorgeous right now, but we still have lots of clouds. bravo

Everywhere you walk though it's 'squish squish'. razz

Going up to about 84 here today.

I going to leave early and go check out the creek to see how it looks for tomorrow. happydance

I'll see everyone after 10 tonight. thumbsup

joe wave


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016177
05/26/15 05:36 PM
05/26/15 05:36 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016185
05/26/15 06:09 PM
05/26/15 06:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon SpaceQ!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1016191
05/26/15 07:08 PM
05/26/15 07:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
How was the Top Golf Ana?


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016192
05/26/15 07:25 PM
05/26/15 07:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
I had so much fun! I started out horrible but finished the last game strong! I'm enjoying being almost normal!

So much rain today, are you getting it too?


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016204
05/26/15 08:58 PM
05/26/15 08:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Normal is fun lol

Boys are here. I'm off to bed with a book. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1016207
05/26/15 09:18 PM
05/26/15 09:18 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Ana we did get the rain too.

Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1016213
05/26/15 09:57 PM
05/26/15 09:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Sweet dreams All!


Don't feed the Trolls
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