I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
~Gilda Radner
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The Last Words Awards: The 20 Best Dying Words of Famous People Category 1: Most Fitting for the Person
Winner:
Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~ Oscar Wilde, writer, died: November 30, 1900
Also Nominated:
[blip] it . . . Don’t you dare ask God to help me.
~ Joan Crawford. actress, died: May 10, 1977. To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.
I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct.
~ Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, died: 1702
That was a great game of golf, fellers.
~ Harry Lillis “Bing” Crosby, singer / actor, died: October 14, 1977
Category 2: Most Ironic
They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist. . . .
~ General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, died: 1864. Killed in battle during US Civil War.
Also Nominated:
I am a Queen, but I have not the power to move my arms.
~ Louise, Queen of Prussia, died: 1820
I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room – and God [blip] it – died in a hotel room.
~ Eugene O’Neill, writer, died: November 27, 1953
I am still alive!
~ Gaius Caligula, Roman Emperor, died:41 AD. Stabbed to death by his own guards – (as reported by Roman historian Tacitus)
Category 3: Most Touching
I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.
Spoken to his wife.
~ James K. Polk, US President, died: 1849
Also Nominated:
Come my little one, and give me your hand.
Spoken to his daughter, Ottilie.
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, writer, died: March 22, 1832
Oh, do not cry – be good children and we will all meet in heaven.
~ Andrew Jackson, US President, died: 1845
Category 4: Most Humorous:
Yes, it’s tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.
When asked if he thought dying was tough.
~ Edmund Gwenn, actor, died: September 6, 1959
Cateogry 5: Most Inspiring
I forgive everybody. I pray that everybody may also forgive me, and my blood which is about to be shed will bring peace to Mexico. Long live Mexico! Long Live Independence!
~ Maximilian, Emperor of Mexico, (Archduke Maximilian of Austria), died: June 11, 1867
Category 6: Worst Missed Opportunity:
Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
~ Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionist, died: 1923
Also Nominated:
Go on, get out – last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, died: 1883
I’m bored with it all.
Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.
~ Winston Churchill, statesman, died: January 24, 1965
Category 7: Most Banal
I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.
~ Richard Feynman, physicist, died: 1988
Also Nominated:
It’s all been very interesting.
~ Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, writer, died: 1762
Ah, that tastes nice. Thank you.
~ Johannes Brahms, composer, died: April 3, 1897
How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?
~ P. T. Barnum, entrepreneur, died: 1891
Category 8: Most Morbid
The earth is suffocating . . . Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won’t be buried alive.
Dying of tuberculosis.
~ Frederic Chopin, composer, died: October 16, 1849
Category 9: Most Kingly
A King should die standing.
~ Louis XVIII, King of France, died: 1824
Also Nominated::
Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal?
~ Louis XIV, King of France, died: 1715
Category 10: That sums it up award
God bless… God [blip].
~ James Thurber, humorist, died: 1961
Category 11: Most Ready for Death
Now comes the mystery!
~ Henry Ward Beecher, evangelist, died: March 8, 1887
Also Nominated:
Nothing, but death.
When asked by her sister, Cassandra, if there was anything she wanted.
~ Jane Austen, writer, died: July 18, 1817
Adieu, mes amis. Je vais la gloire.
(Farewell, my friends! I go to glory!)
~ Isadora Duncan, dancer, died: 1927
I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.
~ Thomas Hobbes, writer, died: 1679
This is the last of earth! I am content.
~ John Quincy Adams, US President, died: February 21, 1848
Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.
~ Ludwig van Beethoven, composer, died: March 26, 1827
I am ready.
~ Woodrow Wilson, US President, died: 1924
Category 12: Most Brave
I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.
Facing his assassin, Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier.
~ Ernesto “Che” Guevara, died: October 9, 1967
Also Nominated:
Let’s cool it brothers . . .
Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.
~ Malcolm X, Black leader, died: 1966
I die hard but am not afraid to go.
~ George Washington, US President, died: December 14, 1799
Category 13: Most Shakespearian
All is lost. Monks, monks, monks!
~ Henry VIII, King of England, died: 1547
Also Nominated::
All my possessions for a moment of time.
~ Elizabeth I, Queen of England, died: 1603
Category 14: Most arrogant
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
~ John Barrymore, actor, died: May 29, 1942
Category 15: Saddest
I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
~ Leonardo da Vinci, artist, died: 1519
Category 16: Most intoxicated
I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that’s the record . . .
~ Dylan Thomas, poet, died: 1953
Also Nominated::
I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
~ Humphrey Bogart, actor, died: January 14, 1957
Category 17: Most melodramatic
Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good!
~ Florenz Ziegfeld. Showman, died: July 22, 1932
Category 18: Most ominous
KHAQQ calling Itasca. We must be on you, but cannot see you. Gas is running low.
Last radio communiqué before her disappearance.
~ Amelia Earhart, died: 1937
Category 19: Most apropos
Too late for fruit, too soon for flowers.
~ Walter De La Mare, writer, died: 1956
Category 20: Most Patriotic: (Tie)
Is it the Fourth?
~ Thomas Jefferson, US President, died: July 4, 1826
Thomas Jefferson–still survives…
~ John Adams, US President, died: July 4, 1826. Some hours after Jefferson had died, relieved in the belief that he was still alive.
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Good morning everyboomie.
There....That was interesting wasn't it? Reading the last words spoken by all those people?
I wonder what my last words will be.
I'm dying to find out.
Probable will be something like, "I TOLD YOU I DIDN"T FEEL GOOD!!"
I am so sleepy. I guess it's because I got up at tree-tirty mon.
I hope it's a super day for ever body.
joe
acebook
witter
, so will keep an eye on her and just be happy. Skymonkey got a shot and back we came. Fed everyone and now it's time to sit and surf while keeping an eye on the Seagy (right eye) and the Annie (left eye.) Annie's got a rainbow leash on to make it easier to track her. Since she has been here, she has given Seagan a wide berth, so perhaps old age has brought wisdom. We will be 98 again with heat index in the triple digits. Thank God for air conditioning. 
