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Thump Day #1025717
07/29/15 07:26 PM
07/29/15 07:26 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx

`````````````````````````

A man walks into a Kansas bar with his golden retriever. "Hey," says the bartender, "No dogs allowed in the bar."

"Oh please?," begs the customer. You see, you're playing the Royals game, and my dog is a really big fan of the Royals."

"You're trying to tell me that this here dog is a BASEBALL FAN?! Both of you get out of my bar," says the bartender. "No animals allowed, and YOU belong in a mental institution. Dogs don't like baseball!"

Just then, the Royals get a hit. The dog goes wild. He jumps up on the bar and hops around in circles on his hind legs. Then he does the same on his front legs! The bartender is astounded. "That is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! Who ever thought a DOG could like baseball?! I'm curious though....if he gets that excited when the Royals get a hit, what does he do when they get a home run?"

"I don't know," confesses the owner, "I 've only had him for five years."

``````````````````````````

A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to load the car.

````````````````````````

A dead body was discovered last week on the grounds of a country estate owned by Queen Elizabeth.

When she was told about it she was alarmed and asked, "It wasn't me was it?"

```````````````````````

Thinking of becoming a superhero? Here are some useful pointers.

1. Don't call yourself by your real name, e.g. Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.

2. Don't call yourself by someone else's real name, e.g. Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.

3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess, e.g. Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.

4. Don't be too modest, e.g. Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-So, Fairly Incredibleman.

5. But don't labor the point, e.g. Mr. So-Powerful-Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.

6. Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image, e.g. Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Yellow Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Evil.

7. Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have a really good lawyer or lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.

8. It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is self-control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenial hole-in-the-heart condition. It's just asking for trouble.

9. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.

10. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.

11. Don't call yourself the Invisible Lady if you're a man -- even if you do feel like a woman trapped in a man's body.

12. Don't give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable-to-Strontium 90.

13. Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You'll confuse people.

``````````````````````````````

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, "I would like some blood."

The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I would like some blood."

The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I would like some plasma."

The waitress looks up and says, "Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?"

```````````````````````````

We got to a point in our relationship where she asked me for a reason for her to stay with me...

I told her I was like her handbag and that I complimented her shoes...

She said I never complimented her shoes...she was right, I never complimented her shoes. Her shoes were crass. So was her handbag...we broke up.

```````````````````````````

A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant. Her friend asks, "Didn't your company hire an accountant a short while ago?"

The business owner replies, "That's the accountant I've been searching for."

````````````````````````````

The maid did not show up for work so the house wife called her in an angry voice and scolded her.

"What is wrong with you? If you were not to come you should have told me."

The Maid explained, “Ma’am I had already announced on my facebook page that I was taking a trip to Mexico for a week to see my family. Ma'am you should remain updated on Facebook. If you still had a question then you should have asked."

Wife: "So you are on Facebook too?"

Maid: "Ma’am who is not? Every time I announce on Facebook your husband sends me well wishes, sympathy and help. This time he said have a nice trip home, enjoy and get back soon to save me from my wife’s cooking."

```````````````````````````

The doctor comes to see his heart transplant patient. "This is good news. It is very unusual, but we have two donors to choose from for your new heart."

The patient is pleased. He asks, "What were their jobs?"

"One was a teacher and the other was an accountant." "I'll take the accountant's heart," says the patient. "I want one that hasn't been used."

`````````````````````````

A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.

'If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.'

`````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


It's a nuther one. smile


Uhmmm headscratch....just like the other one? razz


For better or for worse. In sickness and in health....etc...etc....etc....bla....bla....bla..... rolleyes


The truth is, it beats the alternative any old way you look at it, so suck it up soldier..... think....or at your age maybe you need to suck it in...... snicker.....and get out there and have a happy day!!! woot woot woot


LG yay


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025720
07/29/15 08:04 PM
07/29/15 08:04 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Thursday Joe and all my fellow Boomers. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025741
07/29/15 09:32 PM
07/29/15 09:32 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ok Boomers, it's that time. Off to bed with a book. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025755
07/29/15 10:11 PM
07/29/15 10:11 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Happy Thursday Joe, SpaceQ, L4L and all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025785
07/30/15 12:42 AM
07/30/15 12:42 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Have a lovely day Joe, Space, L4l, Ana, and all who come to the diner today!!!!!!!!

wave
Nan

Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025806
07/30/15 05:40 AM
07/30/15 05:40 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
summer Good Morning Joe, Space, L4L, Ana, Nan and All. Joe it's hot here too. Another muggy day in the 90s. Space enjoy your day. L4L what are you reading? Ana still swimming? Nan you're up late! Sleep well. Coffee is ready and the tea water is simmering. Wishing a beautiful day for everyone! summer


Gerry
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025815
07/30/15 06:59 AM
07/30/15 06:59 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Thump Day. Danish, Omelets, and Waffles in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025823
07/30/15 08:01 AM
07/30/15 08:01 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Morning Boomers,

Joe, have a great day.

Space, good morning.

L4L, hope the day is a good one for you when you awake.

Gerry, coffee needed this morning.

Nan, enjoy whatever plans you have today.

Connie, a great Thump day to you.

Been sad the last few days. Had to have my dog Heather put down. Thought maybe she had a tooth infection when I took her to the Vets but her kidneys had shut down. It's been horribly sad here. sad


Gail
Re: Thump Day [Re: GBC] #1025842
07/30/15 09:57 AM
07/30/15 09:57 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and have a happy Thump Day!

Oh, Gail, I'm so very sorry. Big hugs to you! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025843
07/30/15 10:01 AM
07/30/15 10:01 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
So, so sorry Gail. Gentle hugs to you. hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025848
07/30/15 10:15 AM
07/30/15 10:15 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Well was up way too early today. Daughter called to let me know there dog had gotten loose and she had to leave for work. So, I got up quick to head there. In the mean time he came home so she missed her bus for work so I went and got her and gave her a ride to work. Sassy had fun though, as she got to come along and do some running around my daughters large yard!!! She is happy now. lol

Gail sending HUGS and Prayers!!! Always a had thing to do and it is never easy.

Have a lovely day everybody!!!

wave
Nan

Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025856
07/30/15 10:42 AM
07/30/15 10:42 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
So glad the dog came home Nan! Sounds like quite the morning. It's a daily exercise we have capturing my neighbors Puggle. She gets out sometimes as much as 5 times a day. eek


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025866
07/30/15 11:40 AM
07/30/15 11:40 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll wave

Hubby bumped me and we grabbed the dogs wayyyyyyyyy early this morning and headed out for a walk. It was 79 at 5:30, but at least the sun wasn't beaming on us.

Then home for breakfast and then back to bed. Up for the 2nd time and the brain is sorta, kinda up now lol

Gerry, I'm working my way through J. D. Robb's "In Death" series. Finishing Celebrity In Death today (book 34). There are 40 something books in the series right now.

Oh, Gail, I'm so sorry for your loss. Big and many hugs to you.

I think today is cook-the-books day. Back later wave

Last edited by looney4labs; 07/30/15 11:41 AM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025889
07/30/15 02:24 PM
07/30/15 02:24 PM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Thank you all for your caring hugs. It was a very hard thing to have to do. I sure wish our pets didn't have such short lives. thanks


Gail
Re: Thump Day [Re: GBC] #1025893
07/30/15 02:56 PM
07/30/15 02:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
luv2travel Offline
Addicted Boomer
luv2travel  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
Oh Gail, I am so sorry for your loss. Gentle hugs to you my dear. My oldest cat, Baby was 17 and his kidneys failed and I had to do the same for him 3 months ago. I miss him so much.
Andrea

Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025894
07/30/15 02:56 PM
07/30/15 02:56 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
Hugs to you Gail.

wave to everyone.

Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025897
07/30/15 03:29 PM
07/30/15 03:29 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Hugs Gail hearts


Connie
Re: Thump Day [Re: connie] #1025900
07/30/15 03:53 PM
07/30/15 03:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
So sorry Gail. I think looney's tag line sums it up nicely:

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

Dog is God spelled backwards for a reason. hearts


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025903
07/30/15 03:54 PM
07/30/15 03:54 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Hi ya Space, how was your day?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1025911
07/30/15 04:48 PM
07/30/15 04:48 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Nothing special looney but at least I'm another step closer to Friday. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thump Day [Re: Space Quest Fan] #1025923
07/30/15 05:59 PM
07/30/15 05:59 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Hey everyone. wave

Another work day is over. I'm looking forward to this time tomorrow and being off for the weekend. happydance

I'm on my way over to get Friday started right now.

I wanted to drop in here to say Gail I'm sorry you lost your family member. frown

I think everyone here understands how you're hurting, and we all share your pain and sorrow. hug

Have a nice evening everyone. thumbsup

Hi MaG. wave


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1025953
07/30/15 09:28 PM
07/30/15 09:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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