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Monday Monkey Madness #1026400
08/02/15 07:02 PM
08/02/15 07:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
There are three ages of man - youth, middle age, and 'you're looking wonderful.'
Cardinal Francis Spellman

```````````````````````

Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything.

Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself.

The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the men's room.

The clerk said certainly and told Casey the men's room was the third door down the corridor on the left.

Now Casey, trying to appear sober, weaved his way down the hallway remembering some of the directions.

When he reached the third door, he turned RIGHT, opened the door and immediately fell into the deep end of a pool.

The clerk, realizing Casey's mistake, ran down the hall and burst through the door, prepared to save him, and heard Casey shout, "Don't flush, I'm in here!"

`````````````````````````````

Did you hear about the moron who accidentally swallowed some pennies? He asked everyone he passed if they saw any change in him?

````````````````````````````````

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing.

"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.

"That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"

``````````````````````

"The auditors have just left, sir."

"Did they check the books?"

"Very thoroughly."

"What did they say?"

"They want 15% to keep quiet."

```````````````````````````````

How did you do in your tests ?

I did what George Washington did !

What was that ?

Went down in history !

````````````````````````

What does the 1286BC inscribed on the mummy's tomb indicate ?

The registration of the chariot that ran him over !

`````````````````````


A man named Mr. Smith was flying from San Francisco to LA. Unexpectedly the plane stopped in Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in 30 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. Mr. Smith had noticed him as he walked by and could tell the blind man had flown before because his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. Mr. Smith could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him, and calling him by name, said Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?"

Keith replied, "No thanks, but maybe the dog would like to stretch his legs".

Now, picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with the Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

```````````````````````````

Do you like your new baby sister?
She's all right.
Do you play with her?
No, and we can't even send her back because she's been here more than 30 days.

``````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


The circle of life, the carnival carousel of fun, the wheel of misfortune, has landed once again on Monday. monky


I'm still dizzy from last week. crazy


The good news is that I am off Wednesday and Thursday again with vacation. penguin


It's getting harder to stay on the ride for a whole week without falling off. razz


Every time I do a little voice inside my head tells me to get up and get right back on that pony.........that carousel pony. lol


Have a happy day everyone. wink



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026402
08/02/15 07:28 PM
08/02/15 07:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Monday everyone. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026405
08/02/15 08:12 PM
08/02/15 08:12 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Happy Monday Joe, SpaceQ and all. wave

PT and work today. We had huge hail storm yesterday. Sadly the storm caused fatalities and multiple injuries at a carnival near me. sad

Have a great day!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026425
08/03/15 04:16 AM
08/03/15 04:16 AM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
Hello Boomers!

Joe, hope the dizziness goes away soon! lol!

Have a great day Space!

Aww Ana, how sad. sad Prayers for all affected.

Hubby's taking the car in for service this morning and I'm going along for the ride! Maybe have some retail therapy as well!

To all here and all who stop by later, have a great day guys!

Mary hearts wave


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026428
08/03/15 04:47 AM
08/03/15 04:47 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana and Mary. Joe hang in there. SpaceQ enjoy your day. Ana how sad. Glad you're okay. Mary so nice you are getting out and about! Coffee and tea are waiting for everyone. A Happy Day wished for all! wave


Gerry
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: Kaki's Sister] #1026437
08/03/15 06:52 AM
08/03/15 06:52 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
It has been pouring for hours here. eek


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026439
08/03/15 07:03 AM
08/03/15 07:03 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who stop by later, may your Monday be a Good one. Ana, prayers for those people affected by the storm. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and Cinnamon Buns in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: connie] #1026448
08/03/15 09:55 AM
08/03/15 09:55 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Monday Monkey Madness is mahvelous!

Ana, heard about this on our news. Prayers going up for all involved. hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026452
08/03/15 10:14 AM
08/03/15 10:14 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
I woke up to a tree on my roof. sad Crazy night of storms.

Have a great day everyone, I have to get moving.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026457
08/03/15 10:51 AM
08/03/15 10:51 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll

It's hot hot hot and humid humid humid. Makes me very thankful for AC.

Son and the boys got home at 11 last night. I thought mom was coming at 10 this morning to get them, but apparently not.

Not sure what's up for the day wave

Ana, that is awful. I didn't hear any news yesterday. Glad you all are safe. Big tree?

Mary, have fun.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026458
08/03/15 11:04 AM
08/03/15 11:04 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
L4L, soot can show you on my FB page. It was a lovely full tall tree. sad Half is still up, I hope they can save it.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026471
08/03/15 01:25 PM
08/03/15 01:25 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely Monday!!!

Space hope the rain stops soon. We need some. Have a lovely Monday!

Ana how awful about the carnival AND the tree on your roof this morning. The storms just roll on by here, teasing us. Pray your tree may be saved!! Have a lovely Monday!

Mary have a fun time on the ride! Have a lovely Monday!

Gerry thanks for the tea water and have a lovely Monday!

Connie thanks for the goodies and have a lovely Monday!

Darlene may work be smooth and you have a lovely Monday!

L4l glad that son and the boys made it home safe! We had a low of 50F this morning! Up to 68F now! Have a lovely Monday and I hope the boys mom shows up for them soon!

wave
Nan

Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026481
08/03/15 03:18 PM
08/03/15 03:18 PM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Afternoon Boomers

Wishing everyone a wonderful re4st of the day!

Ana scared eek


Gail
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026483
08/03/15 04:20 PM
08/03/15 04:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi gang. Been a busy day for me but now I'm getting ready to go to work. It's 90+ out there. I hope all of you who are in this heat can stay cool.

See ya.
Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: Midge] #1026490
08/03/15 05:03 PM
08/03/15 05:03 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hot, humid and rainy here. cry


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Monkey Madness [Re: gymcandy1] #1026526
08/03/15 09:26 PM
08/03/15 09:26 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Hi there gang, finally an easy peasy day. Just finished playing Smash Up with son and hubby. Now off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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