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#1030528 - Yesterday at 06:39 PM Hump Day
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30575
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
“Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.”

– Unknown

`````````````````````````````````````

You might be a redneck if you go to your family reunion to meet women!

``````````````````````

A redneck was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey.

His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client.

"Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury box and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?"

```````````````````````````

Redneck Driver's Application

Plez compleet this paper, best ya can.


Last name: ________________

First name:
[_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: [_]M [_]F [_]None
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Un-employed [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________
Lover's Name: __________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet

Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
If you obtained a higher education what was your
major?
[_] 5th grade [_] 6th grade

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?

Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Age you started drivin ______ (If over 10 are you
are still slow lerrnin ? [_] Yes [_] No)

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck ____ kitchen
____ bedroom ____ bathroom/outhouse
____ shed ____ pawnshop

Model and year of your pickup: _________ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun [_] Bassmasters

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable

How many teeth in YOUR mouth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man [_] Skoal

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don't know
`````````````````````````````````

```````````````````````````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I'm sitting here looking at my computer screen and falling asleep again, but hey, I've been up since 3:40. tired


I was 10 minutes late for my 3:30 wake up appointment. rolleyes


I've gotta do it again in the morning, so you know where I'ma heading as soon as I post this. sleep


It's a bit early, but for some reason I don't seem to mind getting a little more sleep. razz


I think my body has a very high tolerance threshold for sleep. thumbsup


Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. wink


Have a happy day everyone. rah



joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#1030532 - Yesterday at 07:09 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 11063
Loc: Columbus,Ohio
Enjoy your Wednesday Joe. smile
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#1030550 - Yesterday at 10:33 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 67626
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe, Space and all! I just got home from spending the day walking the lakefront in Chicago. I walked over 12 miles and my feet hate me. They haven't recuperated from my race on Saturday yet. lol

Today I will run the dogs and relax at the pool.

Have a great one!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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