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Sunday Sunshine #1031080
09/05/15 09:53 PM
09/05/15 09:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
“Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?” – Unknown

`````````````````````````

1. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

2. I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

3. The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

4. A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

5. What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business.

6. What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!

7. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.



8. You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.

9. There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.

10. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.

11. So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.

12. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

13. A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

14. Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.

15. Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.

16. How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.

17. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.

18. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

19. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.

20. Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!

21. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.

22. What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.

`````````````````````````````````

1. Why did the superhero flush the toilet?

Because it was his doody.

2. How do you get a tissue to dance?

You put a little boogie into it.

3. What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt!

4. If you’re American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

Euro-peein’.

5. What do you call cheese that’s not yours?

Nach-o cheese.

6. What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around, and I’ll go ahead.

7. What time should you go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty.

8. What did one firefly say to the other?

You glow girl!

9. What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing. It just waved.

10. Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing.

11. What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A do-you-think-he-saw-us.

12. What do you call two guys hanging on a window?

Kurt and Rod.

13. What kind of bees make milk?

Boo-bees.

14. How do you catch a whole school of fish?

With bookworms.

15. How do you find Will Smith when he’s lost in the snow?

You just look for fresh prints.

16. Why did the mushroom like to party so much?

Because he was a fun-guy.

17. Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

18. What did one tonsil say to the other?

Better get dressed. The doc’s taking us out tonight!

19. Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?

They woke him up.

20. Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

Stopwatch!

Stopwatch who?


Stopwatch you’re doing and open this door!

```````````````````````````````


Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Hobo Joe here.


Not really.


I've been thinking about giving up my rich philanthropist life, and going on the road and living the simple life. You know.....getting back to nature.


rotfl


It's a nice thought but can think of a couple of things I would miss to much for that. rolleyes


I got off of work today at 2:00, and I am so tired after only 4 hours sleep last night. tired


My brothers and sisters are here for a reunion, as well as a lot of other relatives that I haven't seen in ages. bravo


I met them all at a local restaurant for some food and fun. Tomorrow we'll all gather at the lake. happydance


Baby will enjoy the lake, but I can't stay out too long. I have to get up at 3:30 Monday morning. slapforehead


Also, we're getting back up to 100 degrees this week, so it ain't like the heat is letting up any around here. rolleyes


I wish you all a very happy Sunday.


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 09/05/15 10:02 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031083
09/05/15 10:01 PM
09/05/15 10:01 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Enjoy your Sunday Joe. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031084
09/05/15 10:03 PM
09/05/15 10:03 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, enjoy your family time! I hope you get a little break in the heat for the day. hearts

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031109
09/06/15 04:31 AM
09/06/15 04:31 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a relaxing Sunday. smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031110
09/06/15 05:58 AM
09/06/15 05:58 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Space, Ana, Haroula and all. Coffee is ready and tea water is on. Happy day to you all! summer wave


Gerry
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031117
09/06/15 06:18 AM
09/06/15 06:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning everyone. It's staying darker, later in the morning. Wow. It's starting to look like autumn already. Thanks Joe, for opening for us. Morning Space, Ana kissy, Haroula, and Gerry and all who come in the diner today.

Midgie hearts rah


Just do it.
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031121
09/06/15 06:44 AM
09/06/15 06:44 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Midgie. Hope all is well with you. It is darker in the morning here too. Enjoy your day. wave


Gerry
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: Kaki's Sister] #1031122
09/06/15 06:59 AM
09/06/15 06:59 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning everyone. It smells like bacon and cinnamon rolls in here. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031125
09/06/15 07:56 AM
09/06/15 07:56 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Sunday. Breakfast out and shopping this morning. Danish, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Hash Browns, Waffles, BB Pancakes and Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031127
09/06/15 08:15 AM
09/06/15 08:15 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello, everyone. wave It's a day off for me and technically a "second Saturday," as I have a three day weekend. happydance I'll be practicing singing as usual as well as attempting to catch up on some games. thumbsup

Hope everyone has a terrific Sunday. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031130
09/06/15 08:36 AM
09/06/15 08:36 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Good morning Venus Connie SQF Gerry Midge Haroula Ana Joe and the rest of the Diner gang when you are up and at em for Sunday laugh

Have fun at the reunion Joe...autumn is just around the corner

Yes it is Midge...WOM and I start our day under the street lights walking the buddy boys until the sun comes up

Drive safe Connie

Enjoy your day off Venus

It does smell marvelous this morning...I'm already on my third cuppa

wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031142
09/06/15 10:02 AM
09/06/15 10:02 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
SuperSunday and May the Force be with ya'll puppy

Slept in. Now time to continue cooking the books. Boys will be here soon, but first, time to sit and surf and sip for a sec wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031148
09/06/15 10:29 AM
09/06/15 10:29 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Good Morning Joe, Space, Ana, Haroula, Gerry, Midge, Connie, venus, Soot, L4l and anybody else who decides to join in all the fun of the day!

Midge I hear ya, our leaves are already starting to color up!!

Have a lovely day everybody and be safe!!!

wave
Nan

Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: looney4labs] #1031149
09/06/15 10:31 AM
09/06/15 10:31 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
I'm looking at a package of pork chops and my grill and a beautiful plan is coming together. lol


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: Space Quest Fan] #1031158
09/06/15 11:46 AM
09/06/15 11:46 AM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,919
Hogwarts
Trail_Mystic Offline
Dragon Breath - Darkside Moderator
Trail_Mystic  Offline
Dragon Breath - Darkside Moderator
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 6,919
Hogwarts
Morning Folks! wave

Hope everyone is doing awesome!! grin

All is well here, my software install went off without a hitch this morning so I have the rest of the holiday to relax! Yippee! bravo

We're doing grilled Cajun-catfish poor-boy sandwiches and chipotle grilled sweet potatoes today. Yum! thumbsup

Then a "quiet" afternoon of gaming in air conditioned comfort.

Life is good. lol

Last edited by Trail_Mystic; 09/06/15 11:46 AM.

I feel a lot more like I do now, then when I first got here

Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: Trail_Mystic] #1031159
09/06/15 12:10 PM
09/06/15 12:10 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
That does sound good Trail. Have fun! thumbsup


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031160
09/06/15 12:54 PM
09/06/15 12:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
Hello Boomers! Hope everyone is well!

Summer finally decided to pay us a visit so hubby and I have been making the most of the lovely weather, getting out and about in the fresh air almost every day. Can't believe we're in September already..where has the year gone? Enjoy the rest of your day guys!

Mary wave hearts


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: MsMercury] #1031180
09/06/15 03:11 PM
09/06/15 03:11 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Happy Sunday Sunshine and have a wonderful time with your family! woot

Hey there, sweet 'Boomies!

Been a lazy weekend and I'm lovin' it! Got to puppy-sit yesterday for daughter and son-in-law's little vizsla. He's an absolute joy! hearts

Not sure what to do for dinner....may barbecue.....may eat out. Decisions, decisions. smile

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot! wave


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031193
09/06/15 04:26 PM
09/06/15 04:26 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Mary, so glad you guys have some summer to enjoy!

Darlene, sounds like a wonderful day wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: looney4labs] #1031201
09/06/15 06:08 PM
09/06/15 06:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Anyone have any fun Labor Day plans?


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031233
09/06/15 09:53 PM
09/06/15 09:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Hubby is golfing and I am going to the pool for awhile, working and haven't decided anything else. How about you?


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sunday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #1031241
09/06/15 11:19 PM
09/06/15 11:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi Ana wave. For me I plan to sleep in later that 5:15. That's the time I get up when I work the morning shift, but not tomorrow! I wish I could sleep until about 8:00 but my personal clock is set for much earlier. Connie I'm sorry I didn't see the menus for this morning. I'll catch you tomorrow morning.

See you all on the flip side. Night all.

Midgie hearts sleep


Just do it.
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