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Sip and Surf Sunday #1035792
10/10/15 08:46 PM
10/10/15 08:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
A photograph of Anonymous. ANONYMOUS


I've always wondered what Anonymous looked like. lol

`````````````````````

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, "so - how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home ... PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed - they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE !!!" "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook...."

`````````````````

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?, You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."

The man in the front row lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."

```````````````````````````

A man takes his wife to the cattle show. They start heading down the alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bull's stall states "This bull mated 50 times last year. The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year,isn't that nice!."

They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You could learn from this one!"

They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!! You could really learn from this one."

The annoyed man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."

```````````````````````

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."

``````````````````````````

It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained a man to his wife as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbours would say if I mowed the lawn like this?"

she replied. "Probably that I married you for your money."

````````````````````````

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the ship watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old man overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find him. So the captain sent the old woman back to shore with the promise that he would notify her as soon as they found something.

Three weeks went by and finally the old woman got a fax from the ship. It read: "Ma'am, sorry to inform you, we found your husband dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled him up to the deck and attached to his back end was an oyster and inside the oyster was a pearl worth $50,000....please advise."

The old woman faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."

```````````````````````````

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, it was like this", said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it ......stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'. I don't remember much after that".

``````````````````````````````

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives.

The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and as she bends over to place her ball a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded.

"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any."

The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $50, go and buy yourself some underwear".

Next the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Bejesus woman. You've no knickers - why not?"

She replies "I can't afford any on the housekeeping money you give me".

He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $20, go and buy yourself some underwear!".

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too is naked under it. "Hoots Mon woman! Wht d'ye hae no knickers?"

She too explains, "You don't give me enough housekeeping money to be able to afford any."

The Scot reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency woman, here's a comb, tidy yourself up a bit!"

``````````````````````````````

A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed a "nooner." "Don't worry," he purrs. "My wife is out of town on a business trip, there's no risk."

As one thing leads to another, the woman reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, "We have to stop, I forgot to bring birth control!"

"No problem," her lover replies. "I'll get my wife's diaphragm." After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom in a fury. "That witch!" he exclaims. "She took it with her! I always knew she didn't trust me!"

````````````````````````````

Talk about risky business! slapforehead


Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I hope you're all enjoying your weekend so far. happydance


I'm heading into the other room, I hear there's a great party going on. yes


A slumber party. penguin


Have a happy day everyone. wink


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035795
10/10/15 09:08 PM
10/10/15 09:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Enjoy your sunday everyone.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035800
10/10/15 09:45 PM
10/10/15 09:45 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Have a wonderful Sunday Joe, SQF and the rest of the Diner Gang when you're up and at em laugh

wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035801
10/10/15 09:55 PM
10/10/15 09:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Happy Sunday everyone! My day is open so we shall see what it brings!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035813
10/10/15 11:40 PM
10/10/15 11:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a terrific Sunday Joe, Space Quest, soot, Ana and all who come in after me. wave

It's Saturday night for me, and I'm off to sleep. I have a voice lesson tomorrow, so it should be a good day. woot

Hope everyone has a great Sunday. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035823
10/11/15 05:01 AM
10/11/15 05:01 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, soot, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe happy dreams! SpaceQ have a great day too. Ana have a fun day! Soot nice to see you in the Diner. Venus enjoy your voice lesson. Coffee is ready and tea water too. Enjoy a beautiful! fall wave


Gerry
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035829
10/11/15 06:32 AM
10/11/15 06:32 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who drop in later, enjoy your Sunday. Breakfast at IHOP and shopping today. Danish, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Hash Browns, Pancakes, and English Muffins in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035832
10/11/15 07:35 AM
10/11/15 07:35 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers fall

Wishing everyone a Super Sunday! I have one of my grandkids for the weekend. rah Off to church this morning then hopefully a fun day today. lab


Gail
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: GBC] #1035850
10/11/15 10:28 AM
10/11/15 10:28 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
it is cold here again today. Hopefully it will warm up soon. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035857
10/11/15 10:49 AM
10/11/15 10:49 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Have all a relaxing Sunday. smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035859
10/11/15 11:47 AM
10/11/15 11:47 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Space it should warm up for you as it is already 67F here!!

Today is my great-granddaughter Abbi's 5th birthday!!! Where has the time gone? lol

Have a lovely day everybody!!!!!

wave
Nan

Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035865
10/11/15 12:23 PM
10/11/15 12:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Sunday ya'll puppy

Hubby and I popped up, grabbed the doggies, and went round and round and up and down. Well, I popped...hubby had been up for several hours lol

Then home to cool off, clean the kitchen while he fed dogs, clean me up, and now it's time to sit and sip and surf for a sec.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035873
10/11/15 12:44 PM
10/11/15 12:44 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Nan, birthday to Abbi!

SpaceQ, we are heading near 80 today so it should come your way!

Dogs are run now off to the Chicago Botanical Gardens to meet my sister and enjoy the fall day.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1035888
10/11/15 02:35 PM
10/11/15 02:35 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
We have warmed up. It is high 60's now. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035892
10/11/15 03:05 PM
10/11/15 03:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi Boomies. I've been under the weather for a couple of days. I caught Barbar's cough and it turned into something worse. Wow. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I did manage to get some sleep though. After I called Mike and told him I couldn't go in today, then I went back to bed and slept until 1:00 eek That was a first. Well I got more sleep but I'm still coughing. I really hope I didn't give my sister or my nephew my germs. They have a long way to travel to get home. I'm gonna go to work for 5:00.

I hope it's a good day for everyone.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035902
10/11/15 05:21 PM
10/11/15 05:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
SpaceQ, it hit 80 today! yay

Midgie, I'm sorry you are sick. Did you get a nice visit in at least?


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1035905
10/11/15 06:43 PM
10/11/15 06:43 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Ana that is good news for tomorrow here. smile

I hope you feel better Midgie.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1035919
10/11/15 08:33 PM
10/11/15 08:33 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Yes Ana I did have a wonderful visit. We laughed a lot. Their visit was way too short though. I miss them already. Thanks Space. I'll feel better in the morning. I hope you all had a great day today.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: Midge] #1035921
10/11/15 08:37 PM
10/11/15 08:37 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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