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Hump Day #1039426
11/03/15 09:32 PM
11/03/15 09:32 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
FRANKLIN P. JONES

````````````````````````````

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farm hand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. "No!" yelled the farmer, "Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them, they're delicious! They're called Sheep Fries!" The farm hand saved the parts and took them to the farmer's wife who cooked them up for supper.

This went on for three days....and each evening they had Sheep Fries for supper. On the fourth night the farmer came in to the house for supper. He asked his wife where the farm hand was and she replied, "It's the strangest thing! When he came in and asked what was for supper, I told him we were having French Fries and when I turned around, he was gone."

````````````````````````````

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Aussies each buy tickets and watch as the three Kiwis buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an Aussie.

"Watch and you'll see," answers a Kiwi.

They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats but all three Kiwis cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,"Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Aussies decide to copy the Kiwis on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money,and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Kiwis don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Aussie. Watch and you'll see," answers a kiwi.

When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a bathroom and the three Kiwis cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Kiwis leaves his bathroom and walks over to the bathroom where the Aussies are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

```````````````````````````
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."

``````````````````````````

German scientists dug 50 metres underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 metres down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fibre net.

Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 metres underground, but found absolutely nothing......They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.

````````````````````

A tourist from Bulgaria visited the United States on his first overseas trip. Upon arrival at the Immigration desk, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application. The Immigration officer looks over his shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write "Twice a week" into the small space labeled "SEX".

The officer explained: "No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this question. We are asking 'Male' or 'Female'."

"Does it matter?" the tourist answered.

````````````````````````

A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin is involved in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your Uncle from Cork came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh No, not my Uncle... he's an idiot!"

She asks the doctor,"Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise."

"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew."

```````````````````````

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300.

The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!"

There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"

`````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I got off work at 6:00 and rushed home. My Hump day starts at 6:00am which means getting up at 3:30, which means I'm way past my bed time. shocked tired


I wish everyone a super day. bravo


See you all after 2:00. yes


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039431
11/03/15 10:08 PM
11/03/15 10:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Thanks for the jokes Joe. lol


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039432
11/03/15 10:20 PM
11/03/15 10:20 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Happy Hump Day Joe, SpaceQ and all! Another 70+ degree day here so I am once again running off for the day to hike at Starved Rock. I keep saying it's my last time until the icefalls but the weather keeps getting warm again. lol

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039435
11/03/15 10:30 PM
11/03/15 10:30 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, don't you just love it when your bedtime is pretty much as soon as you get home. crazy Hope work flies by tomorrow.

Have a fantastic day, Space Quest.

Glad you're getting to enjoy all those extra hikes, Ana. grin Hope you have a great day.

It's Tuesday night for me, and I'm off to sleep for yet another work day. Luckily, it won't be as long as the last two days, but still long enough. lol Hopefully, I'll be able to practice singing after work again for the rest of the week. I haven't been able to for the last couple of days, as I've been getting off so late.

As for now, I'm off to sleep. Have a great Wednesday, everyone. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039460
11/04/15 05:42 AM
11/04/15 05:42 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
fall Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, venus and all. Coffee is ready and teawater is simmering. It's going to be a beautiful day here too. Warm and sunny! Wishing you all a wonderful day! fall


Gerry
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039467
11/04/15 07:35 AM
11/04/15 07:35 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,021
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,021
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Super Hump Day. Still very hot and humid here. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and Pumpkin Pecan Pancakes in the NC. turkey


Connie
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039481
11/04/15 08:39 AM
11/04/15 08:39 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers flowers

Joe, happy Hump Day!

Venus, glad you can enjoy a shorter workday.

Space, good day wishes.

Ana, have a fun day hiking. Enjoy your nice weather.

Gerry, thanks for always having the coffee ready.

Connie, Stay cool. Thanks for the Danish.

Weather nice here. Very mild. A nice walk with Nina this morning. Wishing everyone a wonderful Hump Day! turkey


Gail
Re: Hump Day [Re: GBC] #1039515
11/04/15 12:06 PM
11/04/15 12:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope you have a smooth-going, happy Hump Day!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039522
11/04/15 12:24 PM
11/04/15 12:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

Doggies and I got our walk in early. We were just finishing our first lap when the tornado alert went off. I think it was just a test, but the sky was icky looking and I didn't want to take a chance with the dogs. So we skipped our 2nd lap and came on home.

Made smoothies, fed dogs, fed me, and finally it's time to sit, sip, and surf.

Joe, have a great day at work.

Ana, have a wonderful hike!

Venus, hope the day goes as planned.

Gerry, enjoy wave

Connie, it's humid here too. Felt like I could cut the air this morning.

Gail, glad your walk was a good one.

Happy skooshing, Darlene

Back later wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1039559
11/04/15 06:10 PM
11/04/15 06:10 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039564
11/04/15 07:14 PM
11/04/15 07:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Good afternoon, Space wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039567
11/04/15 07:34 PM
11/04/15 07:34 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi everyone. Today is my day off and boy it really helped not to have to go to work today. I'm still recovering from my skin cancer surgery. It was much more serious than I thought but I'm doing better. I wish the plastic surgeon was more optomystic though. He's not sure the skin graft will take. Man, I sure hope so. I really don't want to have to go through all that again. But I'm thinking positive.

Don'tcha just love this weather ? I don't want it to end. Have a great rest of the day.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039582
11/04/15 09:37 PM
11/04/15 09:37 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Awww, Midgie, big hugs! Can you not take a few days off work to recover?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1039583
11/04/15 09:39 PM
11/04/15 09:39 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hi looney. wave

Midgie prayers heading up that this skin graph works for you. hearts


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039585
11/04/15 10:09 PM
11/04/15 10:09 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039586
11/04/15 10:11 PM
11/04/15 10:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Hi Space wave

Sweet dreams, Venus sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1039589
11/04/15 10:26 PM
11/04/15 10:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night everyone. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: Space Quest Fan] #1039592
11/04/15 10:35 PM
11/04/15 10:35 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 13,583
Palouse country
3dobermans Offline
Adept Boomer
3dobermans  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 13,583
Palouse country
Well it's only 6:30 here and someone already turned the page to Thursday.
Has become a busy time; helping a neighbor home from the hospital after a partial lung removal, checking with another elderly neighbor that just lost his wife to MS; watching another neighbors dogs for 6 weeks and wrapped the first part of this week delivering Thanksgiving dinners (this is an annual event put on by the church). I think I'm forgetting something...

To all hearts


Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1039594
11/04/15 10:50 PM
11/04/15 10:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hey Trippy wave


Just do it.
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