Be thankful for what you have. Your life, no matter how bad you think it is, is someone else's fairy tale.
Wale Ayeni
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Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.
William Arthur Ward
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Erma Bombeck
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I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Jon Stewart
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On Thanksgiving I will stop to give thanks that my family is safe and healthy, especially because I realize that, following the tragedies of this year, it is all too real a possibility that they might not have been.
Bobby Jindal
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A grandma was showing the children a painting of the Pilgrim Family on a Thanksgiving Day card that they had received and she commented, ‘The Pilgrim children enjoyed going to church with their mothers and fathers and praying to God.’
One of the grandson looked at her doubtfully and asked, ‘Then why is their father carrying that rifle?’
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A young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father’s lap and said, ‘Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?’
‘That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard’, replied his daddy as he ducked.
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Q: Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America?
A: Because they missed their plane.
Q: When did the Pilgrims first say "God bless America?"
A: The first time they heard America sneeze!
Q: When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
A: On their feet!
Q: What did pilgrims use to bake cookies?
A: May-Flour!
Q: What does a Pilgrim call his best friend?
A: A palgrim.
Q: If pilgrims were alive today, what would they say?
A: Do not resuscitate.
Q: What do you call the age of a pilgrim?
A: Pilgrimage.
Q: What kind of cars would pilgrims drive today?
A: Plymouth.
Q:What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach?
A: Puritan.
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A man went one Thanksgiving to get a turkey from a live poultry farm. "Do you have any turkeys going cheap?" he asked."Nope," said the owner. "All our turkey go gobble, gobble.'"
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Last year on Thanksgiving, the childless farmer and his wife prayed for all their blessings. But, they also prayed that their loneliness of having no children be relieved. Their prayers were answered and the wife became pregnant. She gave birth to triplets! A friend remarked, "See, prayers are always answered." The farmer then then replied, "Yes, but I never prayed for a bumper crop like this!"
At Thanksgiving with her folks, single Sally prayed the following, "Oh Dear Lord, I'm thankful for all the blessing in my life. And, I'm not asking for this for myself. But please send my mother a son-in-law."
We're having the same thing this year for Thanksgiving dinner as last year.
Relatives!
Last year we had a frozen turkey. For the first two hours in the stove he enjoyed it!
Last year we had Thanksgiving dinner at a roadside dinner. I had to say grace over grease!
The Puritans celebrated Thanksgiving because they were saved from the Indians. Lately, I think we've been celebrating because we were saved from the Puritans.
Last Thanksgiving my wife cooked the turkey in a microwave oven. We had to eat at 7:30 am.
Using a new recipe, my wife put the turkey in aluminum foil. She had to roast it until it was brown. Twenty-four hours later, the aluminum foil was still silver.
Our turkey was sick. All day long it had a thermometer in it.
This Thanksgiving try to be grateful for practical things. Like, be thankful the post office doesn't handle prayers.
Billy: I can't wait to go to Grandma's for Thanksgiving. My cousin's going to be there, and he has three feet!
Willie: Wow! How'd that happen?
Billy: I don't know. My aunt wrote my parents and said, "You won't recognize little Howie. He's grown another foot."
Alma: The pig people are coming this Thanksgiving?
Dad: Who are the pig people?
Alma: Aunt Helen and Uncle Bob.
Dad: Whatever gave you the idea to call them pig people?
Alma: You. Last year you said that Aunt Helen was a crashing boar and Uncle Bob was a ham.
Jimmy: Mmmmm! That turkey smells good and it's not even done yet. How long will it be?
Mom: About the same length as it was before I put it into the oven, I suppose.
Grandma: What would you like for dessert, Joey?
Joey: Pumpkin pie!
Grandma: Pumpkin pie, what, dear? Say the magic word.
Joey: I'm sorry, Grandma. Pumpkin pie, abracadabra!
After Thanksgiving dinner was finished, Mort saw his little brother Sid in the backyard, poking holes in the dirt and filling them in with birdseed.
"Why are you planting birdseed?" Mort asked.
"I'm growing next year's turkey," Sid replied.
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If you can't feed one hundred people, then just feed one.
Mother Theresa
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If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.
W. Clement Stone
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I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate.
Elbert Hubbard
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Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
Oprah Winfrey
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Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.
Proverb
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Good morning everyboomie.
I'm thankful for GameBoomers, and everyone at GameBoomers.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!
joe
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No, BOO HOO!
