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Joe's Monday Funday Diner #1043176
11/29/15 09:54 PM
11/29/15 09:54 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
It might take a year, it might take a day, but what’s meant to be will always find it’s way.
— Unknown


Q. What do Santa’s elves learn in school?
A. The Elfabet.

Q. What does Santa like to do in the garden?
A. Hoe, hoe, hoe!

Q: What do Santa’s elves drive?
A: Minivans.

Q: What do Santa’s elves drink?
A: Minnesoda.

Q: What is Claustrophobia?
A: The fear of Santa Claus.

Q: What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?
A: Sandy Claws.

Q: Where does the snowman hide his money?
A: In the snow bank.

Q: What type of cars do elves drive?
A: Toy-otas.

Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
A: It needed to be trimmed.

Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A: Holly Davidson.

Q: What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
A: Saint Nickel-less.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!

Q: What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
A: Santa paws!!!

Q: What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
A: Silent night!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A: A pineapple!

Q: What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?
A: Ice cream.

Q: Why do mummys like the holidays?
A: Becuse of all the wrapping!

Q: Why don’t aliens celebrate Chistmas?
A: Because they don’t want to give away their presence.

Q: When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas Day?
A: Every year!

Q: Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?
A: Because he is so cool!

Q.Which reindeer likes to clean?
A.Comet

**************

I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.

"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."

The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."

************

The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I've seen it on T.V."

He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to the field and chose up teams and were ready to begin.

The lion's team received. They were able to get two first downs and then had to punt. The mule punted and the rhino was back deep for the kick. He caught the ball, lowered his head and charged. First, he crushed a roadrunner, then two rabbits. He gored a wildebeast, knocked over two cows, and broke through to daylight, scoring six.

Unfortunately, they lacked a placekicker, and the score remained 6 - 0.

Late in the first half the lion's team scored a touchdown and the mule kicked the extra point. The lion's team led at halftime 7 - 6. In the locker room, the lion gave a peptalk.

"Look you guys. We can win this game. We've got the lead and they only have one real threat. We've got to keep the ball away from the rhino, he's a killer. Mule, when you kick off be sure to keep it away from the rhino."

The second half began. Just as the mule was about to kick off, the rhino's team changed formation and the ball went directly to the rhino. Once again, the rhino lowered his head and was off running. First, he stomped two gazelles. He skewered a zebra, and bulldozed an elephant out of the way. It looked like he was home free. Suddenly at the twenty yard line, he dropped over dead. There were no other animals in sight anywhere near him. The lion went over to see what had happened. Right next to the dead rhino he saw a small centipede.

"Did you do this?" he asked the centipede.

"Yeah, I did." the centipede replied.

The lion retorted, "Where were you during the first half?"

"I was putting on my shoes."


************************

Happy Monday everyboomie! Joe is building an ark and until he gets that done and can sail to a place where he has internet you are still stuck with me! laugh

Let's all blow the rain away to California where they need it! We can do anything if we try.

Have a great day!

JoeAna wave



Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043183
11/29/15 10:59 PM
11/29/15 10:59 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
Thanks Ana.

Take care Joe!

wave to all.

Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: MaG] #1043187
11/29/15 11:27 PM
11/29/15 11:27 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Thanks for keeping the diner open Ana.

I hope you are up and running soon Joe. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043200
11/30/15 04:50 AM
11/30/15 04:50 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 689
Sweden
RebKean Offline
Settled Boomer
RebKean  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 689
Sweden
Morning all. wave
Well I can blow all the way from here also. Lots of rain. Better blow in the right direction though, so we don't all crash! grin

Last edited by RebKean; 11/30/15 04:50 AM.
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043202
11/30/15 05:35 AM
11/30/15 05:35 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a great day. wave happydance


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043205
11/30/15 07:33 AM
11/30/15 07:33 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers kitty

Joe, Hope your day turns out sunny.

MaG, good morning and good day wishes.

Space, have a great day!

Ana, thanks for opening. Wishing you a wonderful day.

RebKean, happy day wishes to you.

Haroula, enjoy whatever plans you have today.

Wishing everyone a super good Monday! lab


Gail
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043210
11/30/15 08:30 AM
11/30/15 08:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Ana, blowing the rain to California for Joe. To all here and all who drop in later, have a Great Monday. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. penguin


Connie
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: connie] #1043229
11/30/15 12:11 PM
11/30/15 12:11 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet JoeAna! Thanks for the openers and opening the Diner! Take care, Joe! And yes, we would happily take the rain here in California! Hope all have a wonderful Joe's Monday Funday Diner!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043233
11/30/15 12:26 PM
11/30/15 12:26 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Aw Joe.....again??? I'll help blow it to California too!!!

Ana, thank you for helping Joe out!! I see his rain has reached you now and will be snow by the time it gets here, or so they say! Stay dry and have a lovely day! How is Merlin doing? HUGS!

Howdy MaG!! Have a lovely day!

RebKean have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gail may the weather be nice for a Nina walk and you have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smooth and you have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043242
11/30/15 01:54 PM
11/30/15 01:54 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

I've been up for a bit. Got soap cooling in the molds, dogs and myself fed, kitchen cleaned, laundry going and some basic soap-making and MRSA research done. Gonna walk the dogs after I post. It's Hot out there, so shorts, t-shirt, and sweat time.

Ana, thanks for opening. I hope Joe gets his Ark finished in time.

MaG wave

Reb, good to see you. wave

Haroula, busy today?

Gail, what's happening for you today?

Connie, bacon sandwiches happydance

Darlene, happy skooshing!

Nan, anything fun on the agenda today?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: looney4labs] #1043259
11/30/15 04:41 PM
11/30/15 04:41 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043261
11/30/15 04:46 PM
11/30/15 04:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Afternoon, Space wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: looney4labs] #1043274
11/30/15 06:00 PM
11/30/15 06:00 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Hey everyone just a quickie. I'm on my lunch. I hope I have the www when I get home tonight, but it's still overcast. I thought the sun would be out by now too.

Ana thanks again. hearts

Gotta go.

Joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043282
11/30/15 07:27 PM
11/30/15 07:27 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Hi Joe. I heard there was an earthquake in Ok this morning. Did you feel anything?


Gerry
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043287
11/30/15 09:45 PM
11/30/15 09:45 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Joe, we miss you happydance

I'm off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: looney4labs] #1043292
11/30/15 10:59 PM
11/30/15 10:59 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Joe's Monday Funday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1043304
11/30/15 11:44 PM
11/30/15 11:44 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Sweet dreams all...

Ana sleep


Don't feed the Trolls
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