“Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.”
― Judith Viorst******************
Elevator Fun
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, [blip] it, all of you just shut UP!"
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
Shave.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When at your floor, strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
One word: Flatulence!
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, [blip] motion sickness!"
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Meow occasionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter "Gotta go...Gotta go..." then sigh and say "Oops!"
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
Stare at a passenger and announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp, and then say "Mmmm... tasty!"
Leave a box between the doors.
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
Start a sing-along.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
Play the harmonica.
Shadow box.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Lean against the button panel.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and inform the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
Bring a chair along.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
Blow spit bubbles.
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!
**************
Fun at the Mall
Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.
Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"
Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles.
Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsellable.
Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger Queen...
...but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're "astronaut food".
Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.
Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, "You mean you really can't see it?"
Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears.
Wear pancake makeup and new clothes, pose as a fashion dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without warning.
Test mattresses in your pajamas.
If you're patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side.
Sprint up the down escalator.
Stare at static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the "hidden picture".
Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda.
Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone.
Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner.
Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke.
Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens.
In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, "I see London, I see France..."
Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps.
"Toast" plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display.
Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it.
Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing "Saved by the Bell". Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets.
"Play" the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises.
Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."
**************
Another day without our favorite host. He has his provider coming on Wednesday for a service call in case he doesn't come by up by then.
Gerry, he did not feel an earthquake.
Both Joe and I wish you all a happy Tuesday. Can you believe it's December 1st already?
JoeAna
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Hope your internet is back soon! 
Ana thanks for taking over for Joe. 
I,ve put the coffee on and the tea water too. 
Wishing everyone a Happy Tuesday. 
to your son! 
It's hot and humid outside and supposed to be raining at some point so not thinking a walk will happen. Sounds like a good day to stay in and cook books. We shall see. 
for running the show again Ana. 
I'm home, and on line YAHOO! 
home Joe.