I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde
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Websites with Funny, But Clean Names (Slurls*)
childrenswear.co.uk - Naughty children!
childrenslaughter.com - Not funny!
choosespain.com - Will and Guy prefer Portugal.
goredforwomen.com - Painful reading.
icup.tv - Genuine hiccup.
newsnow.co.uk - No danger of an avalanche in England.
teacherstalk.com - Catch a coach?
wombeat.com - Strange place.
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Funny Shop Names
There's a mobile snack caravan on Dartmoor named : 'The Hound of the Basket Meals'.
There is a bakery in Sutton called 'Agatha Crustie'.
In Turnham Green, Chiswick we find a dry cleaner called 'Turn 'em Clean'.
'A Pane in the Glass' is the amusing name of a glazier's in New York State.
I have seen two of his examples, one in Croydon named 'The Vinyl Frontier'; a shop which sells second hand records;
Another example is a restaurant in Belfast called 'Thai Tanic'.
Teddy bear shop in Penge called 'Bearly Trading'.
Fish and chip shop in Santa Ponsa, Mallorca named 'Oh My Cod'.
Will has found a bakery in Albert Road, Southsea called 'Upper Crustie'.
In Oxon, UK a local plumber whose van announces: 'The Lone Drainer - he come pronto.'
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Funny Anagrams
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
DORMITORY:
Could be:
DIRTY ROOM
SNOOZE ALARMS:
Becomes:
ALAS NO MORE Z 'S
ANIMOSITY:
Turns into:
IS NO AMITY
PRESBYTERIAN :
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
DESPERATION:
Could be:
A ROPE ENDS IT
GEORGE BUSH:
Transforms into:
HE BUGS GORE
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you redo the math is:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
A DECIMAL POINT:
Changes to:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE Funny Anagrams
THE EYES:
When you review the letters:
THEY SEE
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
Anagram in a Category of Its Own
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange her mutates into:
WOMAN HITLER
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Ten Cool Foreign Words - And Their New Meanings
These funnies were spotted in magazine competition; competitors were asked to change one letter in a foreign phrases and then redefine the sentence.
Harley-Vous Francais? - Can you drive a French motorcycle?
Haste Cuisine - French fast food.
Posh Mortem - Aristocratic deaths.
Felix Navidad - My cat has a boat.
Merci rien- Thanks for nothing.
Quip pro quo - A very fast reply.
Veni, Vidi, Vice - I came, I saw, I was naughty.
Ich liebe rich - I'd love to have lots of money.
Amicus Puriae - A platonic friend.
Respondez s'il vous plaid - Only come to the party in a kilt.
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Every year the Washington Post asks its readers to dream up alternative, yet cool meanings for ordinary words. Here are examples:
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
Clever Yet Cool Phrases
Poultry in motion: A chicken crossing the road
Acupuncture: A jab well done.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead the dough basis.
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Good morning everyboomie.
It's a real shame that the work week has to begin on a Monday.
I have to admit I don't mind it ending on a Tuesday though.
Wednesday is supposed to be sunny and 59 degrees.
Not sure what I'll do, but I'm off anyway.
I've gotta work on getting some different head hunting grounds to look at.
Have a super new week and a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Ana have fun shopping. 
Venus don't work to hard. 
Will have to bundle up for my walk! Enjoy your day everyone! 
Think I'll do my walking today indoors. Have a lovely day!
I did not expect to be going to IKEA at night. It was supposed to be lunch and shopping. 
