Responsible? Who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it’s always, “Who’s responsible for this?”
—Jerry Seinfeld
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Actual Children's Letters
While these notes are not side splittingly funny, however these letters, which were written from children to God, will undoubtedly raise a smile.Dear God
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you got now?
Jane
Dear God
I think about you sometimes, even when I am not praying.
Elliot
Dear God
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
Joyce
Dear God
Maybe Cain and Able would not kill each other so much if they had they're own rooms. It works with my brother.
Larry
Dear God
I went to this wedding, and they kissed right in church. Is that ok?
Neil
Dear God
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
Ruth
Dear God
In Bible times did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer
Dear God
I'm an American what are you?
Robert
Dear God
I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.
Nan
Dear God
Please put another holiday in between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Ginny
Dear God
If you watch in church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
Mickey
Dear God
If we come back as something please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.
Denise
Dear God
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
Love Chris
Dear God
If you give me a genie lamp like Aladdin I will give you anything you want except my money or my chess set.
Raphael
Dear God
Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year.
Peter
Dear God
We read that Edison made light, but in Sunday school they said you did it so I bet he stole your idea.
Sincerely Donna
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More Children's Humour From the Classroom
Humour is not always contrived. Will and Guy were teachers in their 'previous lives' and can vouch for the fact that children often create funny moments without meaning to cause laughter. Here are some examples which we have come across.Moira was struggling to get the tomato ketchup out of the bottle. As she was trying the phone rang and her 4 year old daughter, Mia, answered it saying, 'Sorry, mummy can't come to the phone at the moment because she's hitting the bottle.'
Roger, the local police/school liaison officer was in Green Barn Primary School, Sherborne, Dorset, UK, on an official visit when Mary, age 6, approached him.
'Are you a policeman?' Mary asked.
'Yes,' answered Roger smiling.
'My mum said if I was ever in trouble then I ought to ask a policeman for help. Is that true?'
'Of course,' uttered Roger.
'Then will you please tie my shoelace?' said Mary.
Jenny was watching her daddy getting dressed in his dinner jacket [tuxedo] before the party.
'You shouldn't wear that, daddy,' she murmured.
'Why, darling?' inquired her father of Jenny.
'Well you know it always gives you a headache in the morning, said Jenny.'
Chris was driving his 4 year old, Betsy, to the beach one summer when a woman in a Cabriolet convertible in front stood up and waved. She was absolutely naked and as Chris was recovering from the shock he heard Betsy shout,' Look, daddy, that woman isn't wearing a seat belt.'
Maggie, was an infant school teacher, and on her first day with the reception class [1st graders] at Northern Primary, Portchester, a little girl gave her a note which said: 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of her parents.'
Steve, age 6 years, became lost in the sports complex. Seeing a ladies locker room in front of him he darted in to ask for help. When he was spotted the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. Steve watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
Jack, the Westbourne village police officer, parked his van outside the police station in Havant and was about to collect his police dog, a German shepherd, from the back. The dog was barking rather loudly and a little boy who was watching asked the policeman, 'Is that a dog you've got there?'
'Yes,' smiled Jack.
The little boy looked extremely puzzled and eventually asked, 'What did he do?'
Paul, while working for 'meals-on-wheels', an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, used to take his 4-year-old daughter, Lois, with him on his afternoon rounds. Lois was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the walking sticks, triangular walkers and the wheelchairs.
One day Paul found Lois staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As he prepared himself for the inevitable barrage of questions, Lois merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy is never going to believe this.'
Nathan, after his first day at school, returned home and told his mother, 'I'm wasting my time at school. I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk.'
Father John, while walking along the pavement in front of his church, heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son, Rory, and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and some cotton wool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. Rory, the minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said, 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.'
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Good morning everyboomie.
There! Finally you get to read some childish humor other than my own.
I never get tired of the way children think.
I remember my youngest son exclaiming, after I had shaved off my mustache for the first time in his life, and upon kissing him good night, "Uuuu daddy you have lips like a mommy!"
Well yesterday was nice and sun shiny, but cold, and I didn't find anything but heartache and disappointment at the creek.
I had a nice day just the same.
That is such a lie! It stunk!!
It's naturally easier for me to be a sour puss........and more pleasing.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe