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TGIF #1052372
01/28/16 07:13 PM
01/28/16 07:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Explaining Appetizers

It would be kinda embarrassing trying to explain what an appetizer is to someone from a starving country. “Yeah, the appetizer. That’s the food we eat before we have our food … No, no, you’re thinking of dessert. That’s food we eat after we have our food.”

Jim Gaffigan
``````````````````````

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother:

'Mummy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.'

The mother exclaimed, 'But that's terrible. I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?'

The little girl replied, 'My homework.'

``````````````````````````

Out of the Mouths............:

Mother: 'Why are you home from school so early?'
Son: 'I was the only one who could answer a question.'

Mother: 'Oh, really? What was the question?'
Son: 'Who threw the blackboard duster at the teacher?'

```````````````````````

Jasper Barnett, a young lad from St. Alban's, England was asked by his teacher to spell the word 'straight.' Jasper did so without error.

'Well done!' smiled the teacher, 'Now, Jasper, what does it mean?'
'Without water in it!' responded Jasper immediately.

````````````````````

A newspaper boy was standing on the corner with a large pile of papers, shouting, 'Read all about it. Twenty five people cheated. Twenty five people cheated.'

Intrigued, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. What he saw was yesterday's paper. The man said, 'Hey, this is an old paper, where's the story about the big swindle?' The newspaper boy ignored him and went on yelling out, 'Read all about it. Twenty six people cheated.'

```````````````````````````

An educational psychologist is asked to see a pupil who draws all his pictures with black and brown crayons. He talks to him. Nothing obvious. He gives him projective tests. Nothing shows up.

Finally, in desperation, he gives him some paper and a box of crayons.

'Oh goody, 'says the boy, 'I get an old box of crayons in school and only the black and brown were left.'

````````````````````````

The young couple invited their aged Vicar for Sunday lunch. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son, what they were having.

'Goat, 'the little boy replied.

'Goat?' replied the startled man of the cloth, 'Are you sure about that?'

'Yep', said the youngster. 'I definitely heard Dad say to Mum, we might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'

````````````````````````````

Jemima's Year 6 homework task was to make sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the definition. Coming across the word "frugal" in the list, she asked her father what it meant. He explained that being frugal meant you saved something.

Jemima's paper read, 'Frugal: to save.' Sentence: 'Little Red Riding Hood fell into a hole when she was walking in the woods so she yelled for someone to come get her out. She cried, 'Frugal me, Frugal me!'

`````````````````

Children On Children

This poem was nominated, by United Nations, as the best poem of 2006 was written by an African child

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray

And you calling me coloured?

`````````````````````````````

A Mother of a Small Boy Says


1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound [3 stone] boy wearing batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh' , it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens

20. The fire department in Austin, Texas has a 5-minute response time.Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without permission.

``````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


It's FRIDAYYYY! yay


The next 3 days, 2 of which I'm off, are going to be sunny, and 71 to 74 degrees. dance


We have hardly had a Winter at all. It's been exceptionally mild even for Southern Oklahoma. sherlock


We are getting things ready for the Spring selling season at Lowe's, but I have to say I'm not ready for things to start getting any warmer at all. I like the temperatures just fine right now.


If we are having 70 degree temperatures in January, then what is Spring and Summer going to be like? I shudder to think. sherlock


Last year when I got home after noon, I didn't even want to take Baby for a walk because of the heat. shame


You've all heard that old saying I'm sure, 'if you can't stand the heat, get out of Southern Oklahoma.' lol


This is how I translate that saying for me....if you can't stand the heat, don't stand out in the heat. snicker


Have a happy day everyone.



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052380
01/28/16 07:42 PM
01/28/16 07:42 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Happy Friday everyone. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052381
01/28/16 07:48 PM
01/28/16 07:48 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, enjoy the nice temps while you have them!

SpaceQ, any fun weekend plans?

Have a great day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052396
01/28/16 10:22 PM
01/28/16 10:22 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a terrific day Joe, Space Quest, Ana and all who follow. wave

It's Thursday night for me, and I have one more (possibly long) day of work tomorrow. Kitty version Venus is feeling much better today. kitty She wasn't really that bad before, only slightly lethargic in the mornings, and she sneezed quite a bit. The vet gave her a shot yesterday, and today, she's been trotting all over the apartment, and her eyes look much brighter. thumbsup She has liquid medicine she's going to start tomorrow morning, so that should help her as well. Though not me so much when she struggles and complains. lol

Okay, off to sleep for work once again.

Have a great Friday, everyone. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052429
01/29/16 06:23 AM
01/29/16 06:23 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Good morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe enjoy the warmth of the sun and your days off. SpaceQ have a nice day. Ana how's Merlin doing? Venus glad to hear kitty venus is doing okay. Coffee and tea are ready. Have a great day everyone. happydance12 wave


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052441
01/29/16 08:04 AM
01/29/16 08:04 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,021
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,021
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. It finely stopped raining here,two days was quite enough. Joe, I'm not looking forward to the hot days either. Danish, Jelly Donuts, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. hamster


Connie
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052445
01/29/16 09:02 AM
01/29/16 09:02 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers hamster

Joe, Enjoy your nice weather while you can.

Ana, have a great day.

Space, enjoy whatever you have planned for the day.

Venus, glad Kitty Version Venus is doing better.

Gerry, coffee sounds great!

Connie, glad your rain stopped.

Brother taking me to Olive Gardens for dinner tonight. He's up from FL till Sunday. Then won't be back again till late April. Girls all going to the movies tonight. Wishing everyone a happy day! happydance12


Gail
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052458
01/29/16 11:29 AM
01/29/16 11:29 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning everyone! Off to see my son in the city for a bit and then later tonight gathering with friends to play Cards Against Humanity. Not for the faint of heart, but so much fun. lol

Have a great day!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052466
01/29/16 12:15 PM
01/29/16 12:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Joe, love your translation. Works for me, and I'm shuddering with ya. wave

Happy Friday, Space.

Ana, your day sounds full of fun. Enjoy!

Venus, I don't envy you trying to medicate a cat. I don't mind giving my dogs meds, but make son or hubby give it to son's cat. Hope feline Venus is soon hale and hearty.

Gerry, anything fun for you today?

Connie, Bacon Sandwiches hamster joy

Gail, sounds like a fun night. What movie are the girls going to see?

Off to feed my doggies who think they are starving...well, at least Skywalker does lab


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: looney4labs] #1052474
01/29/16 01:36 PM
01/29/16 01:36 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and enjoy your weather! Have a terrific TGIF!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Puppy sitting this weekend for daughter and son-in-law. hearts

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052478
01/29/16 01:41 PM
01/29/16 01:41 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Nice here weatherwise. Gonna be up in the 70's for a change. Great weather, I even have my doors open again. And then they are predicting rain again for the weekend. Oh well. We still need it. I have another dead 25 foot high tree to cut down. Sad. Was a very pretty, nice flowery tree. Gonna miss it.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: Sorta Blonde] #1052506
01/29/16 04:39 PM
01/29/16 04:39 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Welcome to the weekend Boomers. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052521
01/29/16 08:33 PM
01/29/16 08:33 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
yay SpaceQ! Looking forward to the weekend!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1052535
01/29/16 09:48 PM
01/29/16 09:48 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a good one Ana. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052550
01/29/16 10:47 PM
01/29/16 10:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ahhhh, finally sitting. Son not home yet, so gonna put the boys to bed in 15 minutes and then I'm going to follow. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1052579
01/30/16 01:55 AM
01/30/16 01:55 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Thanks Gerry, Gail and L4L! So far, I've held off giving her the medicine, as she seems like she's back to her normal self. I may try to slip some into some wet food Thorsgoats got for her (normally, she only eats dry food, as she prefers it), but otherwise, my plan is to only give it to her if she seems as if she really needs it. As long as she's feeling so much better, I feel like there's no need to put her through that "torture." smile

Okay, off to sleep, as I'm falling asleep at my keyboard. lol Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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