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Thump Day #1052235
01/27/16 11:01 PM
01/27/16 11:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

—Steve Martin

``````````````````````

Funny Proverbs - According to 6 year olds

Mary taught first grade. She had a class of twenty-five adorable 6yr olds. One day Mary gave each child the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to write in the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these funny proverbs were actually written first graders. While reading the results, keep in mind that these are only first graders, just 6 years olds.

No news is............................impossible.
Love all, trust....................... me.
An idle mind is........................the best way to relax.
Strike while the.......................bug is close.
Better late than.......................pregnant.
A penny saved is...................... not much.
Don't change horses....................until they stop running.
A miss is as good as a ................... Mr.
Happy is the bride who......................gets all the presents.
Two's company, three's....................... the Musketeers.
Don't bite the hand that...................... looks dirty.
It's always darkest before......................Daylight Saving Time.
There are none so blind as .................... Stevie Wonder.
Where there's smoke there's ................... pollution.
The pen is mightier than the..................... pigs.
If at first you don't succeed...................... get new batteries.
When the blind lead the blind .................... get out of the way!
Children should be seen and not ..................spanked or grounded.
You can't teach an old dog new .............. ....math.
Don't put off till tomorrow what.................... you put on to go to bed.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll...................... stink in the morning.
You can lead a horse to water but .................. how?
Never underestimate the power of .................... termites.
You get out of something only what you ............... see in the picture on the box.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.............. cry and you have to blow your nose.

``````````````````````

Funny Proverb - Savings

A Year 5 teacher was giving her Primary pupils a lesson in developing logical thinking.

'This is the scene', said the teacher.

'A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?'

A little girl raised her hand and asked, 'To draw out all his savings?'

````````````````````````````

More Funny Proverbs and Wise Sayings





Fools rush in where fools have been before.
It's called "take home" pay because you can't afford to go anywhere else with it.
Success is relative; the greater the success, the more relatives.
If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
You must have learned from others' mistakes. You haven't had time to think all those up yourself.
People like criticism; just keep it positive and flattering.
It's OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
Worry kills more people than work because more people worry than work.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind, and narrowness of the waist, change places.
When you're getting kicked from behind, at least it means you're in front.
Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
Some people are like blisters. They don't show up until the work is done.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
The one who snores will fall asleep first.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.

`````````````````````````

Out of the Mouths of Children

A number of primary schools were doing a project on 'The Sea.' Children were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the 'better' ones:


1. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea because I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

2. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)

3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kyle age 6)

6. A dolphin breathes through an (blip)-hole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8 )

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)


Children's Comments on Love



When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toe nails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love. Rebecca age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth. Billy age 4

Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK. Danny age 7

Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. Bobby age 7

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. Nikka age 6

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day. Noelle age 7

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well. Tommy age 6

Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken. Elaine age 5

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones. Lauren age 4


``````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Did ya miss me? grin


Yeah I know, I didn't either. razz


I have a bird and two dogs in my lap that did though. It's kinda cramped here. puppy


The little one got hurt tonight. She's been bouncing off the walls as usual. Very hyper. Well she jumped off the chair and landed awkwardly on her leg, and she just screamed in pain like her leg was broken. She kept screaming and I thought for a minute I was going to have to head to the vet. She finally quit crying, and she's been quiet all evening. slapforehead


My lap is really hot though, and not in a, you know, a romantic sort of way. blush


My next child will NOT be a lap dog. shame


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 01/27/16 11:05 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052240
01/27/16 11:21 PM
01/27/16 11:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
I hope the little one is okay, Joe! Merlin has been sick for two days and I haven't had much sleep. These pups sure do keep us on our toes, don't they?

Have a great day everyone!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1052246
01/27/16 11:48 PM
01/27/16 11:48 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
My little ones own me Ana. All they have to do is look at me and I melt. hamster

I love seeing and hearing about Merlin's antics too. I hope he is better very soon. wink


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 01/27/16 11:49 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052249
01/28/16 12:04 AM
01/28/16 12:04 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great day Joe, Ana and all who follow. wave

I'm getting to sleep late this evening, as I had to take kitty version Venus to the vet after work, and it pushed everything back. crazy She's on my lap now, and I think she's happy that ordeal is over with. lol

As for now, I'm off to sleep, hoping I feel awake enough tomorrow to drag myself through the day. lol

Have a great Thursday, everyone. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052255
01/28/16 02:01 AM
01/28/16 02:01 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning all,have a happy day. wave penguin


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052275
01/28/16 05:34 AM
01/28/16 05:34 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus, Haroula and all. Coffee and tea are ready. Joe hope the pup is okay. Ana hope Merlin is okay too. Venus enjoy your kitty time! Haroula have a happy day too. Wishing you all a stress free day. happydance12 wave


Gerry
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052281
01/28/16 08:23 AM
01/28/16 08:23 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Joe, I hope the puppy is all right. Ana, I hope Merlin is feeling better. I'm waiting on the results of another culture the vet took on Outlaw's ears. He's stumped, none of the antibiotics or other meds are working. To all here and all who follow, have a Super Thursday Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. lab


Connie
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052282
01/28/16 08:31 AM
01/28/16 08:31 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning all. Connie thanks for my breakfast. You're an angel. I'm off to the doctor's. Have a great day everyone. Work at 5:00 this afternoon.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052287
01/28/16 09:37 AM
01/28/16 09:37 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers hamster

Joe, Ana, Venus, Gerry, Connie, Haroula and Midgie, good morning!

Sounds like just about everyone has an encounter with a dog ailment. Hugs to all! Hope they're all feeling tip-top shape soon. hearts

Sun is shining and I think I'll take Nina for a walk soon. Got a little more housework left to do first. Wishing everyone a super good day! puppy


Gail
Re: Thump Day [Re: GBC] #1052306
01/28/16 11:53 AM
01/28/16 11:53 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

Today I'm headed down to Dallas/Ft Worth for a appointment for hearing test. I have tinnitus in both ears. razz

My appointment is at 1:30. I hope like heck I'm out of there by 2:30. The traffic down there is crazy, and I'm allowing myself 3 hours for an hour and a half drive. taz

I hope you all have a super day. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052307
01/28/16 12:12 PM
01/28/16 12:12 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, my pups own me too! hearts Good luck at the docs, tinnitus is no fun at all!

venus, have a great day! Hope the vet visit was routine.

Haroula, how's the weather there? I'm ready for summer!

Gerry, a stress free day to you too!

Connie, sorry they can't find meds to help Outlaw. How frustrating!

Midgie, all the best for your doctor visit.

Gail, enjoy your walk. It's very icy here, hard for the dogs to go for a run.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052310
01/28/16 12:18 PM
01/28/16 12:18 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday Ya'll puppy

Joe, so sorry little one got hurt. How is she this morning? luck with your drive. I have tinnitus too. Ring ring.


Ana, hope Merlin is better soon. These babies do keep our hearts engaged.

Oh Dear, Venus, hope kitty version is better.

Yes, indeed, Haroula, happy day hamster

Gerry, I think we could all use a stress free day. Hope we all get it.

Connie, have you tried changing Outlaw's diet?

Midgy, luck

Gail, you are up and busy early! I'm impressed.

Off to feed my babies lab


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052312
01/28/16 12:32 PM
01/28/16 12:32 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Awwww Joe, sorry about your puppy and his ouchie. I once 'made' my cat jump down from a huge tree and his leg collapsed. It was sprained. He limed around a long long time and I felt so guilty. He got overdoses of love. Maybe that's the payoff.

In other great news: I sent my friend out to do some 'stealth' work last night. That stupid cab-over camper had been here since last Friday night and I'd called the Vehicle Abatement team on day 4 (gave it the full 72 hours to move on its own. Of course the Vehicle team comes like a week AFTER you call and then another week until they tow it, but they do leave a nice note on the windshield. Soooo yesterday was day 5 and I got tired of waiting and being nice. I typed up a simple note with that day's date and the date when it was parked and quoted the Municipal Code section and told them politely it was time to move the vehicle. I then printed it on YELLOW paper (just like the police/vehicle team uses). Had my friend put that on the windshield (I even folded it to the right size) and guess what? When I got up this morning...happy me (happy camper?) It's GONE. Don't see it on my street so it's somewhere else, bothering some other homeowner. I'm thrilled. I knew the owner would be nearby monitoring it somehow. Could be he looks at it each night/day. When he saw that yellow paper, it probably made him think twice about leaving the camper where it was. Sometimes, ya just gotta outsmart the people who take advantage. dance joy


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Thump Day [Re: Sorta Blonde] #1052320
01/28/16 01:44 PM
01/28/16 01:44 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and have a fabulous Thump Day!

Hey, Midgie! Big hugs to you today! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

The weather today is absolutely gorgeous! Blue skies and it feels like Spring!

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Thump Day [Re: Darlene] #1052342
01/28/16 04:26 PM
01/28/16 04:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052350
01/28/16 04:41 PM
01/28/16 04:41 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Afternoon, Space wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1052351
01/28/16 04:57 PM
01/28/16 04:57 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Hey everybody. yay

I'm glad I left early to go down to Texas. I got there an hour and a half early, got in to see the Doc earlier, and was out by 1:00, back home by 2:30. joy

I just took my pups out for a walk. The little one is ok now and back to her normal hyper little Tasmanian Devil self. taz

Now I have an early day tomorrow from 5:00 to 1:00, and then I'm off for the weekend. hamster

It is one beau-ti-ful day here. penguin

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052357
01/28/16 05:32 PM
01/28/16 05:32 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
WooHoo, so glad you got in/out of the doctor's early and that you got in a walk and especially that the wee one is ok joy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1052364
01/28/16 06:26 PM
01/28/16 06:26 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Hey L4L do you guys still go to the park? I remember reading all the time about loading up your gang, and then their antics in the car and at the park. I always enjoyed reading about them. lab

Gotta go get another day started. happydance

Have a good evening everyone. yes


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052379
01/28/16 07:41 PM
01/28/16 07:41 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hi looney.

Any fun weekend plans?


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052390
01/28/16 09:29 PM
01/28/16 09:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Back from dinner. Now time to relax a bit.

Space, not sure what we will do this weekend. Boys will be here. There is nothing officially planned though. How bout you?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1052392
01/28/16 10:14 PM
01/28/16 10:14 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
No plans for me either looney but I like it that way. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052393
01/28/16 10:17 PM
01/28/16 10:17 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1052402
01/28/16 10:38 PM
01/28/16 10:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Night Venus, I'm off too. Sweet dreams sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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