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Monday Morning #1052768
01/31/16 07:58 PM
01/31/16 07:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
SAMUEL BUTLER

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.

````````````````````````````````````````````````

Victoria, a middle aged mother, decided that she wasn't going to remind her kids any longer of their need to write thank-you notes when they received presents.

The result of this was that Grampy never received any thank-you letters for the very generous cheques he'd written to the children.

However, the following year, things were different. 'All the Kids came over personally to thank me,' declared Grampy in a triumphant manner.

'That's good,' commented his friend, 'why do you think they decided to change their behaviour?'

'Well, that's easy,' declared Grampy, 'this year I didn't sign the cheques.'

``````````````````````````````

Two elderly ladies were discussing the upcoming dance at the Botley Grange Country Club.

'We're supposed to wear something that matches our husband's hair, so I'm wearing black,' announced Mrs Hickling.

'Oh dear,' uttered Mrs Packer, 'I'd better not go in that case.'

```````````````````````````````

My Rememberer

My forgetter's getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke

For when I'm "here" I'm wondering
If I really should be "there"
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,
Say 'what am I here for?'
I wrack my brain, but all in vain!
A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say 'Hi' and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, 'who in the world was that?'

Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that is not a joke.

````````````````````````

Top Ten Quotes Suitable For A Retirement Speech


When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference. - Virginia Graham

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. - George Foreman

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring. - Milton Berle

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. - Abe Lemons

Before deciding to take early retirement from your job, stay home a week and watch daytime television. - Author Unknown

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. - Robert Half

The down side about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.- Author Unknown

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. - R.C. Sherriff

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. - Gene Perret

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. - Scott Elledge.

One for luck: I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. - Gene Perret

```````````````````````````````

Three elderly men, Eddie, Jenkin and Martin men go to the doctor's for their memory test. It's a miracle they remembered the appointment! Anyway, the doctor begins by asking Eddie, "What is five times five?"
"191," is his reply.

The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to Jenkin, "It's your turn. What is five times five?"
"Wednesday," replies Jenkin man.

The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. What's five times five?"
"Twenty five," says Martin.

"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get your answer?"
"Easy," says Martin, "just subtract 191 from Wednesday."

````````````````````````````````

You Are Probably Retired If....

You and your teeth don't sleep together.

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

Getting "lucky" means you remember where you left your car in the car park.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt; doesn't work.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head.

`````````````````````````````

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.

'I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business', declared the first man.

'Fifty years from now, 'said the second, 'I want them to say, 'He was a loyal family man' .

Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, 'So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?'

'Me?' the third man replied. 'I want them all to say, 'He certainly looks good for his age!'

``````````````````````````````

Charlie, aged 86, was very contented living in the Clarendon Nursing Home just outside Stubbington, Hampshire, England. After meeting Maisie, 77, he grew even happier and fell deeply in love. Only last week Charlie plucked up the courage, got down on his knees and told her there were two things he would like to ask her.

Maisie smiled and replied, 'Alright.'
Charlie asked softly, 'Will you marry me?'

Delighted, Maisie answered him, 'Yes.' She then asked Charlie what his second question was.
He replied, 'Maisie, will you help me get up, please?'

```````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Welcome to the new work-half-week. yay


I start the day at 5am again. yes


Today (Sunday) was a great day. After having my coffee and doing some laundry, I took the girls to the park in Durant. They had a blast running around and exploring. Especially the little one. lab


After that I bought groceries and gas, and back to the casa. woot


It's time to wrap up this day, and get ready to unwrap the next one. yes


Have a super day everyone. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052774
01/31/16 08:57 PM
01/31/16 08:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Happy Monday everyone!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Morning [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1052783
01/31/16 09:20 PM
01/31/16 09:20 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Enjoy your Monday Boomers. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052787
01/31/16 10:49 PM
01/31/16 10:49 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great day Joe, Ana, Space Quest and all who follow. wave

It's Sunday night here, and I'm off to sleep for another work day. Kitty version Venus has gotten worse again, so it looks like I'll have to take her back to the vet when I get home. sad

As for now, I'm off to sleep. Have a great Monday, everyone. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052791
01/31/16 11:01 PM
01/31/16 11:01 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Sorry to hear that venus, I hope she feels better quickly!

SpaceQ, have a happy day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052810
02/01/16 06:07 AM
02/01/16 06:07 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
smile Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, venus, and everyone. Joe love the retirement funnies! Ana have a great day. SpaceQ enjoy your day too. Venus I hope kitty Venus is okay. She must be getting pretty old. Coffee and tea are ready. Have a Smiley monday everyone! smile wave


Gerry
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052816
02/01/16 07:58 AM
02/01/16 07:58 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers puppy

Joe, Glad you had a good day!

Ana, hope your day is exciting today.

Space, good morning.

Gerry, I'm ready for coffee.

Venus, hope kitty version Venus gets better soon.

Connie, good day when you get here.

Happy day wishes to ALL! hamster


Gail
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052820
02/01/16 08:46 AM
02/01/16 08:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Ana, Big Hugs for you and Shadow. hearts To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. hamster

Last edited by connie; 02/01/16 08:47 AM.

Connie
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052841
02/01/16 12:28 PM
02/01/16 12:28 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! Thanks for your good thoughts for my son. Much appreciated! hearts

Haroula misses you all. She is quite ill and could use some positive thoughts sent her way!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Morning [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1052849
02/01/16 01:08 PM
02/01/16 01:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and have a wonderful Monday Morning!

hearts Ana, positive thoughts going up for your son!

hearts Haroula, prayers going up for quick healing!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Cold, but clear skies this morning.

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052865
02/01/16 02:35 PM
02/01/16 02:35 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
It was a dark and stormy night...

It really was! We had some rain, but mostly WIND! Gusts up to 50mph or more right here. And of course in the middle of it all at midnight, I heard a 'thump' thump THUMP right next to my head on the outside of my bedroom wall. I listened to it as long as I dared, then put on a bathrobe, went outside with a flashlight and found that the solar panel collector from my security light had blown off the roof and was dangling halfway down the wall and clunking hard against my stucco. Oh dear. So here I am, in the yard, at midnight in a flimsy bathrobe with a flashlight trying to secure the panel (which was dangling from it's cord). I went back in, got some nylon straps and tried securing it to the phone line. Went back in, washed off the dirt and nettles from my legs and applied cortisone cream to stop the stinging. Would have been better if the weeds in my yard weren't 3 feet high. Ugh.

Came back in all snug in bed and THUNK...again. So out I go again, this time with a step ladder (small one) so I could reach the cord of the solar panel and undo the twist-tie that was holding it halfway up the wall. It's dark, I can only use one hand, the winds is almost blowing me off the ladder (not joking) and finally I manage to grab the twisty thingie and undo it and drop the panel to the bushes below. Back into house, into the shower with HOT water, more nettles to treat (Only my ankles this time). Cortisone done, back in bed and to sleep. Sigh of relief.

This morning, surveyed the damages around my yard. 4 2-3 inch across branches from a Brazilian pepper tree were down. Not a biggie except that they are fully leafed out and each one will fill a trash can. LOTS of smaller twigs and sticks from all my trees (they needed culling anyway) are now on the deck. Nice the wind does what I can't reach.

The cat's table, over which I have a nice 5 foot beach umbrella to protect the food from rain or sun is now wide open to the sky. Seems the wind got ahold of the umbrella and flopped one side over the other. Luckily and happily, this umbrella had plastic struts and all I had to do was flop it back over. Neat! I will remember that when I buy another one. No metal (it bends and breaks) but the plastic just went right back. So nice.

There are a few branches broken off a big bushy boxwood tree. One side is very flat. I will cut them off when the wind dies down. And the back fence (to the empty lot) had tipped over. No damage, but it will take 2 of us to tip it upright and secure it somehow. It's a movable fence, designed that way in case we need to drive anything into the lot and to be a barrier for anyone thinking about encroaching. Works well until the high winds.

So today or maybe tomorrow it's just cleaning up and finding a way to get someone up on the roof to reposition that solar panel thingy. It's only 5x8 inches but has to go high on the peak.

OH and the best part? My cast iron wind direction thingie (can't remember what they are called) weathervane? Well, the top part that spins was on the driveway. Geez. How fast does it have to be going to LIFT off a 3 inch peg and up and over? It's not light. It's a lovely dragon, cute little guy. Undamaged thank goodness.

So things are going well, until I get the mail. Jury Summons! Ick. March for one day (if not on a jury) and then a call in for 5 days if not called in on the first day. Good system. We sometimes don't even have to appear unless they need a bunch of people. I'm still waiting to finally get on a jury. Got close last time. Gotta do my civic duty (it's on my bucket list).

Off to stand in front of my wall heater. Cold wind blowing through my old house.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052876
02/01/16 03:55 PM
02/01/16 03:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

We are back to air conditioning weather. The doggies and I got out for a nice walk this morning before it got too hot. Then home for chores and now, finally, sitting and sipping and sipping. I still have some phone calls I need to make, but wanted to stop in and say "hi" first.

Venus, sorry kitty is not well. Gentle hugs and luck

Ana, so sorry things have been so difficult for your son lately.

Sorta, sounds like quite the night. Glad it wasn't worse.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Morning [Re: looney4labs] #1052892
02/01/16 06:34 PM
02/01/16 06:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052900
02/01/16 07:13 PM
02/01/16 07:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Afternoon, Space, how was the day?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Morning [Re: looney4labs] #1052901
02/01/16 07:15 PM
02/01/16 07:15 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Just like most Mondays I was very glad it was over. I'm a much bigger fan of the weekend. lol


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052927
02/01/16 10:01 PM
02/01/16 10:01 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Space Quest, I'm with you on Mondays. lol

Thanks everyone for the wishes for kitty version Venus! She's still lethargic, and I'm waiting for her blood work to come back tomorrow. I'm hoping for a resolution soon because I hate seeing her like this. sad

Off to sleep now. Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday Morning [Re: venus] #1052930
02/01/16 10:08 PM
02/01/16 10:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Venus and I hope Kitty Venus feels better soon. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #1052935
02/01/16 10:21 PM
02/01/16 10:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ok guys, time to give it up and go to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Morning [Re: looney4labs] #1052946
02/01/16 10:54 PM
02/01/16 10:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night everyone. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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