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#1054250 - 02/10/16 11:09 PM Thumping Thursday
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30993
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
The baby is great. My wife and I have just started potty training. Which I think is important because when we want to potty train the baby, we should set an example.

—Howie Mandell


Diana, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, 'Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?'

'I would love to do that,' replied Diana's husband, 'but she won't let me.'


A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from a hotel chain.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.


Mike and Pauline were relating their holiday experiences to a friend.

'It sounds as if you had a great time in Nevada,' the friend observed. 'But didn't you tell me you were planning to visit Philadelphia?

'Well,' Mike interrupted, 'we changed our plans because, uh......oh........umm.'

Pauline spoke up, 'Come on, Mike, tell him the truth.'

Mike fell silent and Pauline continued, 'You know, it's just stupid. Mike simply won't ever ask for directions.'


Magistrate: But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road?

Motorist: I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.


Andrea, with great alacrity, leaned over, took a deep breath, made a wish and threw in a penny.

Toby also decided to make a wish, but he leaned over too far, fell into the well, and drowned.

Andrea was stunned for a moment but then smiled, 'It really works!'


At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.'

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

My mind not only wanders - it sometimes leaves me completely.


(1) In a poll held in the USA, men and women were asked if they would marry the same person if they had it to do all over again.

80% of the men responded that they would marry the same woman.

Interestingly, only 50% of the women said that they would marry the same man. Oh dear!

(2) Gamophobia is the fear of marriage.

(3) 'When women hold back from marrying men, we call it independence. Yet, when men hold off marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.' Warren Farrell (American Psychologist)


My new wife Jenny told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. Then I caught her spending $75 on makeup. So I asked, how come I had to give up stuff and not her.

She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me.

I told her that was what the beer was for.

I don't think Jenny's coming back.


Judge Jeffries was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asks, 'What exactly are the grounds for your divorce?'

Amy replied, 'Approximately four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.'

'No,' Judge Jeffries continued, 'I mean what is the foundation of this case?'
'It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,' responded Amy promptly.

'I mean,' he sighed, 'What are your relations like?'
'Ah well, I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents.'

Judge Jeffries asked, 'Do you have a real grudge?'
'No, we haven't,' Amy replied, 'We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.'

'Please,' Judge Jeffries took a deep breath and tried again, 'is there any infidelity in your marriage?'
'Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes,' smiled Amy.

'Ma'am,' Judge Jeffries raised his voice, 'does your husband ever beat you up?'
'Oh yes,' Amy responded, 'about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.'

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, 'Lady, why do you want a divorce?'
'Oh, I don't want a divorce,' Amy replied. 'I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me.'


Thoughts About Women

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

It's an agreement wherein
a man loses his bachelors degree
and a woman gains her masters

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel
a feeling you have never felt before.

The only time when some married men
ever get to open their mouth.

The name men give to their

A curve that can set
a lot of things straight!


Good morning every little boomie..........and the big ones too of course. welcome

I just started a 3 day weekend, which was a 2 day weekend, until my department manager asked me if I would switch days off with him so he could have Valentines Day off. joy

Yaaaaaa! I love him so much!

Did I say that out loud?? oops

Just kidding of course. snicker


REALLY!!! slapforehead

Bald headed men never did that much for me. think

Come to think of it, bald headed women never did much for me either.

Bald heads and bow legs I never found appealing. blush

I know some women who like them though, because I have both. grin

Have a happy day everyone.


Edited by gymcandy1 (02/10/16 11:14 PM)
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

#1054251 - 02/10/16 11:54 PM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: gymcandy1]
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 12/28/99
Posts: 68419
Thanks Joe! Enjoy your 3 day weekend!

Hello everyone! Enjoy the day! wave2

#1054264 - 02/11/16 04:57 AM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 20482
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, MaG, and everyone. Joe enjoy your long weekend. lab MaG have a great day. hamster Coffee and tea are ready. Got to walk yesterday in spite of the snow. This morning we are expecting snow squalls and snow showers and the temperatures are dropping. shiver Hopefully we can get to walk. Have a nice day everyone! happydance12

#1054274 - 02/11/16 07:18 AM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8987
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Thursday. It's cold enough to snow, winter if there was any moisture in the air. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and BB Pancakes in the NC. penguin

#1054276 - 02/11/16 07:25 AM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 15258
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning all. Thank you connie, for the bb pancakes. I really missed them. I'm off to get some advice from glitches to answer my question about how I get my short cuts to websites. My desktop looks so barren. Have a great day everyone. I have yet another dr's appointment this morning from the pulmonary department.

Midgie hearts shiver
Just do it.

#1054283 - 02/11/16 07:51 AM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 16456
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers penguin

Joe, enjoy your time off.

MaG wishing you a wonderful day!

Gerry, stay warm. It's going to get really cold.

Connie, good day wishes.

Midgie, good luck at the Doc's. Hope you can get all your stuff back on your computer.

Weather here is going to get a lot colder than it's been. shiver

#1054301 - 02/11/16 09:46 AM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 69956
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning everyone! I thought I posted before I went to bed but I guess I didn't submit it. lol
Cold day here, but sunny, which is great! TRivia tonight, before that I'll be doing my usual dog run and night hike. Last night I cam out of the woods into the main path and made a poor coyote jump all 4 feet off the ground. We scared each other! rotfl

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
Don't feed the Trolls

#1054310 - 02/11/16 10:58 AM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14380
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe enjoy the long weekend! Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

MaG have a lovely day!

Gerry glad you were able to get a walk in and hope the same for today! Cold here too so thanks for the hot coffee. Have a lovely day!

Connie I see it cooled down then. Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Midge enjoy them!! Good luck with the doc appointment! Have a lovely day!

Gail stay warm and have a lovely day!

Ana sounds like a fun day, enjoy! We were at -8 this morning feeling like -21. shiver Enjoy trivia tonight and be safe in those woods. Have a lovely day!

I am off to feed the vampire and then a doc appointment!!! Have a lovely day everybody!!!


#1054312 - 02/11/16 11:50 AM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: auntiegram]
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 10086
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and enjoy your long weekend! Happy Thumping Thursday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

#1054333 - 02/11/16 04:23 PM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: Darlene]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 12811
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#1054335 - 02/11/16 05:24 PM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 45058
Loc: Alabama
Afternoon, Space wave
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#1054337 - 02/11/16 06:17 PM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: looney4labs]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 12811
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hi looney wave2
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#1054339 - 02/11/16 06:28 PM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 17829
Loc: Unionville
Good evening boomers. It's cold here brrrr winter
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

#1054354 - 02/11/16 08:43 PM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: manxman]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 12811
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#1054359 - 02/11/16 09:16 PM Re: Thumping Thursday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 45058
Loc: Alabama
It's that time. Night all sleep
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras


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