People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
—Joan Rivers
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Funny Name and Job
Where possible we have shown where the names come from. Sadly we cannot guarantee their accuracy:Bankers, Wallowa County, Oregon: Cheatham & Steele
Chorister, Westminster Choir College, Princeton, New Jersey: Justin Tune
Gynaecologist, New York Hospital, New York City: Dr Zoltan Ovary
Chairman, Tetley Tea Company, London: Tetley Ironsides Tetley Jones
Dentist, Roslyn Heights, New York: Dr. E. Z. Filler
Phlebotomist, St Mary's Hospital, Portsmouth, UK: Lavinia Blood
The national Director of Surgery at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs in Washington, D.C. Dr Blades
Plumber Worcester UK: Mr Turner-Heaton
Lloyds/TSB Bank Manager, Waterlooville, UK: Mr F. Knox
Mr. Vice, Malefactor, New Orleans, Louisiana. Arrested 890 times and convicted 421, probably a record (International Herald Tribune)
More Funny Name and Job
Interior decorator, Reading, UK: Derek Paynter
Municipal Tax Collector, Brazil (Financial Times): Cardiac Arrest da Silva
Funeral Director, Sydney, Australia: C. D' Eath and Sons
Mrs Pine-Coffin from Devon, UK but she was an owner of holiday cottages not an undertaker]
Landscape Gardeners from Salisbury, UK called: Budd and Bush
Silent Movie Organist, Rochester, New York: C. Sharp Minor
Central City, Kentucky automobile salesman: Henry Ford Carr
Never Fail is a builder in Tulsa, Oklahoma
Mr Robbins is a renowned ornithologist (bird scientist and bird-bander) at a Federal wildlife research center in Maryland, USA. He is co-author of the guidebook "Birds of North America".
This one does fit in at all with the others but we couldn't resist it: Charles Adolphe Faux-Pas Bidet, Commissaire de Police, Paris, France in the 1930's
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An aptronym or aptonym is a name aptly suited to its owner. They can often be hilarious, amusing and funny. David Bird is an ornithologist.
Scott Constable is, of course, a policemen.
Helen Painter is an artist.
Raymond Strike has to be a Trades Union leader.
Shona Shears cuts people's hair.
Steve Adore is a dock worker.
Dr Joseph Babey is a paediatrician.
Dr Djerk works as a psychiatrist.
Bertha de Bleus is a jazz singer [sounds suspicious to me says Will].
And yes, Dr D'Eath is a surgeon.
Roy Grout is a bricklayer who has a mate named Morris Glaser who does the windows.
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Fictional examples of aptronyms include Mr Talkative and Mr Worldly Wiseman in John Bunyan's classic book "The Pilgrim's Progress" written in 1678. The word aptronymn itself was probably invented by United States newspaper columnist Franklin P. Adams.Alan Ball, English footballer who played in England's 1966 World Cup winning team.
Anna Smashnova, tennis player.
Billy Drummond, American jazz drummer.
Bob Flowerdew, gardener and Gardeners' Question Time panellist.
Bob Rock, rock music producer, including Metallica and Bon Jovi.
Brenda Song, singer.
Cecil Fielder and his son Prince Fielder, baseball players.
Jaime Gold winner of 2006 World Series of Poker
Chuck Long, former NFL quarterback for the Detroit Lions and the Los Angeles Rams.
Henry Head, an English neurologist.
Igor Judge, Lord Chief Justice of England and Wales .
Learned Hand, judge.
Lord Brain, neurologist.
Marc Rich, billionaire financier.
Margaret Court, tennis player.
Margaret Spellings, Education Secretary under George W. Bush.
Peter Bowler, cricketer who was, in fact, primarily a batsman.
Pippa Greenwood, plant pathologist and "Gardeners' Question Time" panellist in the UK.
Scott Free a defence attorney.
Thomas Crapper, manufacturer of Victorian toilets. Please note that the word "[blip]" predates Mr Crapper.] .
Tiger Woods, golfer [A wood is a type of golf club].
Usain Bolt, Jamaican sprinter, Olympic Gold medalist, 100m and 200m world record holder.
William Wordsworth, poet.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Ever read the book 'Yelloow River' by I.P. Freely?
It's a tense book, but you'll be relieved when it's finished.
I'm relieved that this day is over. Oh it was nice day. Very nice in fact.
I over-slept this morning, and didn't go to Soper again. I took Baby to the creek and walked around. I knew I was not likely to find anything unless I dug around, and I did a lot of digging, but only found a piece of a point.
I enjoyed the day but I was very tired when I got back home, and after I ate something I decided that I needed to lay on my couch to anchor it down, and keep it from floating away.
I was awakened from my little nap by a nasally snorky noise, which I never determined the source of.
I really hated being so lazy, then again I have 3 days off, so I didn't care that much. I wuz tard.
I even resisted letting my dogs take me for a walk.
That was my day, but it's yesterday's news now.
Lets see what today holds in store.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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