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Tuesday's #1060946
03/28/16 09:47 PM
03/28/16 09:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

ANAÏS NIN

``````````````````````

Scene: A phone conversation between a client and me—an art director.

Me: Hi. I was wondering if you received the invoice I sent?
Client: Yes, I received it, but I am not going to pay you yet.
Me: Why not? Was something wrong?
Client: No, I don’t need to use your design yet, so I will pay you when I use it.
Me: Well, I still need to get paid now. If a plumber fixes your toilet, you don’t tell him you will pay him as soon as you need to go to the bathroom, do you?
Client: That’s disgusting! My bathroom habits are none of your business, and as soon as I use what you sent me, you will get paid!

``````````````````````

A customer pulled up to my drive-through window at the fast-food restaurant where I work and requested something from the lunch menu.

"I’m sorry, but it’s 10:15," I told her. "We’re only serving breakfast now."

After thinking it over, she asked, "Do you have anything on your breakfast menu that tastes like lunch?"

````````````````````````````

A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but—wanting to make sure each bulb worked—she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up.

"Great," she said.

I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed.

"I don’t want this box," she said abruptly. "It’s been opened."

`````````````````````````

Days after we invaded Marja, Afghanistan, one of my Marines found out his wife hadn’t paid the cell phone bill. He called the company and asked how he could settle up.

"You can go to Western Union and place a money order," the billing agent told him.

"Ma’am, I’m in Marja, Afghanistan," he explained. "We don’t have Western Unions."

"No problem. You can also go to Walmart."

````````````````````

Cream and sugar?

One woman raved about the rides at our water park, but she did have a valid complaint: "The water in the wave pool tastes horrible!"

``````````````````````````

Scene: A gas station in Canada

Customer: Excuse me. Why won’t my debit card work on the pump?
Owner: Are you using an American card?
Customer: Yes.
Owner: American cards don’t work at the pump.
Customer: You should put up a sign.
Owner: We did, above the card slot.
Customer: Oh. Well, I don’t read Canadian.

``````````````````````````

It’s so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.

```````````````````````

I was delivering pizzas when I fell hard onto the sidewalk. Seeing me sprawled on the ground, my concerned customer yelled, "Oh, no! The pizzas!"

```````````````````````

As a salesperson, I do a lot of business over the phone. One man who called to place an order had a nice voice, so when he asked if I wanted his number, I took the opportunity to offer mine as well.

"Um," he stammered, "I was talking about my purchase-order number."

````````````````````

The waitress was refilling cups of coffee when she stopped at the table next to ours. "Regular?" she asked her customer. "Yes, thank you," said the man. "Due to a steady diet of fruit."

`````````````````````````````

Tales From the Bookstore

A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it. After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.

After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help. She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.

````````````````````````````

While we were working at a men’s clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband’s blue eyes stand out.

"Ma’am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough.

`````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


I have water leaking from my eyes, and something quite different leaking from my nose.


I wish everyone a super Tuesday. yes


joe


Last edited by gymcandy1; 03/28/16 09:47 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1060947
03/28/16 10:19 PM
03/28/16 10:19 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great Tuesday Joe and everyone. wave

spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1060948
03/28/16 10:31 PM
03/28/16 10:31 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Hello Venus and Joe laugh

I'm just getting to the computer today after work, feeding the buddy boys, feeding WOM and of course feeding me lol

whew...I am ready for bed sleep

Wishing you and the rest of the gang a great Tuesday wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1060958
03/28/16 11:18 PM
03/28/16 11:18 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Have a happy day Joe, venus, soot and all!

I'll be heading to the city to visit my son and ride bikes along the lake. It'll be warm by my house, but cold by the lake. Not sure why agreed to it. lol

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1060962
03/29/16 12:53 AM
03/29/16 12:53 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a happy day. wave2


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1060978
03/29/16 05:02 AM
03/29/16 05:02 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
spring Good Morning Joe, venus, soot, Haroula and everyone. A windy day here. Gusts up to 50 mpr already! Hope we don't loose power. Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a great day. spring


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1060987
03/29/16 08:34 AM
03/29/16 08:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers wave2

Joe, hope you stop dripping soon.

Ana, enjoy your bile ride.

Venus, good day wishes.

Soot, sleep well. Good morning when you get up.

Harouls, have a happy day!

Gerry, windy here too.

Connie, have a great day when you get here.

To everyone here and everyone on their way I'm wishing a super good day! lab


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1061001
03/29/16 10:50 AM
03/29/16 10:50 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,497
Canada
StarLite Moon Offline
Addicted Boomer
StarLite Moon  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,497
Canada
Do you have allergies Joe, my eyes have been burning and watering off me since yesterday too. Hope you don't have my flu, get well soon

Good morning fellow boomies, we have a beautiful sunny day today, still cold.

Was so close yesterday to releasing my game, had to fix two flaws which I hope are done

Hope everyone has a great day smile


Be Thankful For The Dawn Of The Coming Day - Lisle Engle




Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1061004
03/29/16 11:09 AM
03/29/16 11:09 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: connie] #1061006
03/29/16 11:48 AM
03/29/16 11:48 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and have a terrific Tuesday's!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Puppy sitting today, so off for a lovely walk in a bit! yay

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1061008
03/29/16 12:17 PM
03/29/16 12:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

It's a beautiful day in AL, and I'm gonna grab the doggies and head out to a walk in a few minutes. Had a busy morning and finally made it to the computer.

I feel much better today. My face is still a little swollen but...I'm Done! At least til the next cleaning lol

Joe, I hope your allergies go away soon! Gentle hugs! So glad you got that point out at Walmart. Did anyone come out to see what was going on?

Venus, how is Saga?

Soot kissy

Ana, have a blast.

Haroula wavegirl

Whoa, Gerry, those gusts are God's way of telling you stay inside and eat chocolate. Be safe.

Gail, have a great day.

StarLite, have a great day.

Connie, thanks for the yummies.

Darlene, puppy sitting for the win lab


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1061021
03/29/16 01:56 PM
03/29/16 01:56 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good afternoon everyone. wave2

When I got up this morning I was determined to go to the doctor today, which would mean driving down to Texas, and waiting for the dr to see everyone who had an appointment first, and then see me. That didn't appeal to me. I have my sinuses under control. It's trying to drop down into my chest, and I am controlling the coughing with suppressants. I have been laying on my couch all day. I have to work tomorrow, and hope I can make it. duh

The pups want to go to the park, and I have the front door propped open so they can go in and out. I just don't want to go to the park today. smirk

L4L I was a little concerned that someone would see me out there hammering on the pavement, but it really didn't take long, and nobody came out to investigate. It hardly did any real damage to the pavement. yes

Have a super day everbody. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1061026
03/29/16 02:39 PM
03/29/16 02:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Joe, feel better soon. Lots and lots of hot liquids!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1061034
03/29/16 04:08 PM
03/29/16 04:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


Get well soon Joe. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1061036
03/29/16 05:01 PM
03/29/16 05:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Welcome home, Space wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1061074
03/29/16 09:40 PM
03/29/16 09:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
L4L, Saga is doing well. She's one of the most playful cats I've ever seen. The only other cat who could have equaled her was Jupiter when he was younger. It's too bad I can't bend time and get them to meet around that time. lol

Okay, off to sleep now. Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1061076
03/29/16 09:54 PM
03/29/16 09:54 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Venus, do you suppose she is part Bengal? I know they are very playful.

We are off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1061079
03/29/16 10:03 PM
03/29/16 10:03 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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