Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes.
~P. J. O'ROURKE~
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We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.
Lew Schneider
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As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold.
I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”
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Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change once in a while, nine tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin
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It’s been raining so much in Los Angeles that the Chia Pet I threw in the garbage is now blocking my entire driveway.
Jay Leno
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If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.
Bob Hope
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Why does moisture destroy leather? When it’s raining, cows don’t go up to the farmhouse yelling, “Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!”
Jerry Seinfeld
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Concerned about what will happen to cities if the polar ice caps melt? Don’t be. New names have already been chosen.
Atlantis City, New Jersey
Pariscope, France
Sail ‘Em, Massachusetts
Floodelphia, Pennsylvania
Helsunki, Finland
Sao Marco … Paulo, Brazil
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On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest. The children were especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game “Oregon Trail,” which gives players a taste of the hardships the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my daughter nodded and said grimly, “This is where my oxen always die.”
— Quin Gilbert
We all grew up in a town on the New Jersey shore and spent our summers at the beach, swimming, surfing, hanging out with friends. One of my friends loved the season so much, we began calling him Mr. Summertime. “What happens when summer is over?” someone asked.
I thought for a minute, then said, “In September he becomes the Fall Guy.”
— J. Cummings
My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew playing calmly in the woods.
“Listen to me, Matthew,” his mother said sharply. “From now on when you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?”
Matthew thought about that for a moment and said, “Okay. Disney World.”
— Leah Hallenbeck
The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime, spending nights with my friends—generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never went to college, stopped by.
Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career.
“Well,” he replied, “you better start thinking about it. You’ll be thirty before you know it.”
“But I’m closer to twenty than to thirty,” I protested. “I won’t be thirty for eight more years.”
“I see,” he said, smiling. “And when will you be twenty again?”
— Marshall K. Essig
I was with a friend in a café when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. “What good are car alarms when no one pays any attention to them?” I wondered aloud.
“Some are quite effective,” my friend corrected me. “Last summer, my teenager spent a lot of time at the neighbors’. Whenever I wanted him home, I’d go out to our driveway and jostle his car.”
— Sheila Moore
For her summer job, my 18-year-old daughter arranged interviews at several day-care centers. At one meeting, she sat down on one of the kiddie seats, no simple task for most people. The interview went well, and at the end, the day-care center director asked the standard question, “Can you give me one good reason we should hire you?”
“Because I fit in the chairs.” She got the job.
— Judith L. McKay
I was getting ready for a tag sale one summer day. Since it was so humid out, I decided to stay inside my air-conditioned house and mark the special stickers I had bought for the sale. Then I slapped them on my blouse, ran outside, stuck them on the appropriate items and rushed back inside. I did this until every item was labeled. Later that day a UPS man came by the house with a delivery. I noticed that as I was signing for the package, he seemed ill at ease. It was only after he left that I noticed there was one sticker still attached to the front of my blouse. It read “Make me an offer.”
— Mary E. Koppelmann
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Good morning everyboomie.
The day after Monday has arrived, which is also happens to be the day before my weekend begins.
I know I'm excited.....about going to bed here in just a minute. Kinda like going to bed early on Christmas Eve so the next day will hurry up and get here..........or............because I'm really tired, and having trouble keeping the peepers open.......and love sleeping.
It's the simple things in life that excite me now.
That *can* cause problems however.
My heart rate is up now because of the stimulation.
This is really going to put a damper on my falling asleep tonight.
Note to self; don't ever think about simple things right before going to bed, even when it's simply thinking about going to bed.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Have a Super Tuesday everyone. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. 
Wishing everyone a super day today. 
Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope you slept well and have a great Terrific Tuesday's!
Have an easy peasy day!
looney. 