If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.
E. JOSEPH COSSMAN
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After noticing how trim my husband had become, a friend asked me how I had persuaded him to diet. It was then I shared my dark secret: "I put our teenage son’s shorts in his underwear drawer."
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During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me communicate with him, my husband devised a system of taps.
One tap meant "Give me a kiss." Two taps meant "No." Three taps meant "Yes"—and 95 taps meant "Take out the garbage."
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One evening my husband’s golfing buddy drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.
Later that night my husband’s friend and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat. Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That’s when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat.
"Honey," she asked, "have you seen my other shoe?"
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My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. "I have a higher IQ, did better on my SATs and make more money than you," she pointed out.
"Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead," I said.
She looked mystified. "How do you figure?"
"I married better," I replied.
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Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband demurred, saying two would be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he’d put an end to things, saying boldly, "After our second child, I’ll just have a vasectomy."
Without a moment’s hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you’ll love the third one like it’s your own!"
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Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher.
I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately.
“You see where they’re smoothing that cement?” he replied. “I just threw my wife’s credit cards in there.”
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Soon after we were married, my husband, Paul, stopped wearing his wedding band.
"Why don’t you ever wear your ring?" I asked.
"It cuts off my circulation," Paul replied.
"I know," I said. "It’s supposed to."
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As I was stepping into the shower after an afternoon of yard work, my wife walked into the bathroom. "What do you think the neighbors would say if I cut the grass dressed like this?" I asked.
Giving me a casual glance, she replied, "They’d say I married you for your money."
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When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me to bring her a few items from home. One item on the list was "comfortable underwear." Worried I’d make the wrong choice, I asked, "How will I know which ones to pick?"
"Hold them up and imagine them on me," she said. "If you smile, put them back."
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Hoping to lose some weight, my wife told me she wanted to get an exercise bicycle. I reminded her that she had a very nice and rather expensive bike in the garage. She explained that she wanted a stationary one.
"Your bicycle has been stationary," I remarked. "That’s why you need to lose ten pounds."
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After ten years of widowhood, I remarried. Leaving work one wintry evening, I told a colleague that it was very gratifying to once again have someone worry about me if the roads were icy. My new husband would be awaiting my arrival, I said, and would hurry out to meet me at the car.
I couldn’t have been more right. As I pulled into the driveway, my husband burst out the door and came up to me. Rubbing our new car, he anxiously queried, "Did you get salt on it?"
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My mother, a meticulous housekeeper, often lectured my father about tracking dirt into the house. One day he came in to find her furiously scrubbing away at a spot on the floor and launching into a lecture. "I don’t know what you’ve brought in," she said, "but I can’t seem to get this out."
He studied the situation for a moment and, without a word, moved a figurine on the window-sill where the sun was streaming in. The spot immediately disappeared.
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My husband, Mike, and I had several stressful months of financial difficulties. So one evening I was touched to see him gazing at the diamond wedding ring that symbolized our marriage.
"With this ring…" I began romantically.
"We could pay off Visa," he responded.
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Good morning everyboomnie, or maybe I should say good morning Ana, Gerry, Gail, Nan, & Space Quest.
Everybody is out of town on Summer vacations I guess.
Less pressure on me when I have nothing to say.
I wish everyone a fantastic day.
joe
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Good Morning Joe. It is quiet in the diner. Coffee and tea are ready. Have a great day everyone. 
Have a lovely day!
We have had sun but low temps because of the wind. Get away from the lake and it was way warmer. Today it is cloudy and threatening rain, so me and Sassy did a long walk already, just in case it does rain! Have a lovely day!
