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Joe's Tuesday Diner #1066036
05/09/16 11:09 PM
05/09/16 11:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. Sam Levenson


******************

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.

“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.

“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”


*****************

At the mall, my five-year-old grandson joined the other children in line waiting to sit on the Easter Bunny’s lap. When it was his turn, Jake didn’t move; he just stared.

“Don’t you want to sit on the 
bunny’s lap?” I asked.

“No!” he shouted. “There’s 
a man in his mouth!”

***************

I’ve been working on my PhD 
in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don’t necessarily see that as work.
As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get 
a job there.

Hoping to make a point, I asked, “Do you think they’re looking for an engineer?”

“Oh, sure,” he said. “They’ll hire anybody.”

*************

I’m driving with this guy, and 
he runs right through a Stop sign. So 
I say, “Hey, that was a Stop sign.” And he says, “I drive like my brother!”

A few blocks later, he plows right through a red light. I say, “You just ran a red light.” And he says, “I drive like my brother!”

So now we’re coming up on a green light, and he slows down. I’m confused, so I say, “It’s green; why are you slowing down?”

He says, “My brother might be coming.”

**************

“Has your son decided what 
he wants to be when he grows up?” 
I asked my friend.

“He wants to be a garbageman,” 
he replied.

“That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.”

“Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.”

************

A Scottish mother visits her 
son in his New York City apartment and asks, “How do you find the Americans, Donald?”

“Mother,” says Donald, “they’re such noisy people. One neighbor won’t stop banging his head against the wall, while the other screams and screams all night long.”

“Oh, Donald! How do you manage to put up with them?”

“What can I do? I just lie in bed quietly, playing my bagpipes.”

************

Good morning everyone! Joe is busy dodging the Oklahoma tornadoes and spending time with his company so you have me to start your day.

I wish you all a day of sunshine, if it is hiding behind the clouds, at least it can shine in your heart. hearts

Have a happy Tuesday!

JoeAna wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066041
05/10/16 01:32 AM
05/10/16 01:32 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning all,I'm back from my Easter holidays. wavegirl
Hope you have a great Monday. happydance


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066048
05/10/16 06:30 AM
05/10/16 06:30 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Ana, Haroula and all. Hope Joe is okay Ana. Welcome back Haroula. Coffee and tea are ready. Have a great day everyone! wave


Gerry
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066051
05/10/16 06:57 AM
05/10/16 06:57 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Tuesday. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Waffles in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066058
05/10/16 08:09 AM
05/10/16 08:09 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers wave2

Ana, have a great day. Hi to Joe.

Haroula, glad you're back from vacation.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Connie, enjoy whatever the day brings.

A nice sunny walk with Nina this morning. Wishing everyone a wonderful day! kitty


Gail
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066071
05/10/16 11:12 AM
05/10/16 11:12 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Ana thank you for filling in for Joe and the laughs! Have a lovely day!

Joe I pray that all is well there! Enjoy your visit and have a lovely day!

Haroula welcome home!! Have a lovely day!

Gerry hope you had a wonderful weekend! Thanks for the tea and have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy the sunshine and walk, we have rain and a short walk. lol Have a lovely day!

L4l.....YES kindergarten in September!! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: auntiegram] #1066077
05/10/16 11:35 AM
05/10/16 11:35 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave2 Howdy ho, JoeAna! Thanks for opening up the Diner this morning and prayers that Joe stays safe from the tornadoes and enjoys his family!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066079
05/10/16 11:48 AM
05/10/16 11:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Haroula, welcome back! How was your visit?

Gerry, Joe was ok last night, but the tornadoes are close all around him!

Connie, have a great day! How is Robert doing?


Nan, have you seen the northern lights where you are?

Darlene, have a great dayu!

Off to rehab on my ankle this afternoon. Otherwise just slugging on this rainy day.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: Darlene] #1066080
05/10/16 11:52 AM
05/10/16 11:52 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everyboomie. wave2

Thank you Ana for opening for me. I really appreciate it. kissy

Yes we had terrible weather yesterday evening. Several tornados which missed us here, but I'm afraid not everyone was so lucky. We talked to a girl last night at Chili's whose grandparents lost half their house. They weren't hurt because they ran to another part of the house. yes

My youngest son Josh wanted to go to the creek, so we did go and looked for arrowheads for a couple of hours. Didn't find any unfortunately. frown

Sometime today we're going to the lake, and then to the movie to see Civil War. bravo

The dogs and Pepper are really enjoying the company, and all the attention. puppy

Gotta go now. I hope you all have a terrific day. yes

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066082
05/10/16 11:55 AM
05/10/16 11:55 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Those tornadoes were huge Joe! I was watching all the live videos posted on Twitter and was in awe. What an incredible storm system that was! So happy you and family are okay! Enjoy the day. hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066083
05/10/16 12:01 PM
05/10/16 12:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

How is everyone this bright, shiny day?

I got up and had a semi-normal morning in the kitchen. Dogs are quietly snoozing, and I'm sitting and sipping (though I'm out of sipping material...must make a run back up the stairs).

Joe, you've changed rotfl I'm assuming the storms got Joe last night. There you are. Sounds like a fun day! Glad you are safe.

Thanks, AnaJoe for opening wavegirl How often are you rehabbing?

Haroula, wave

Gerry, thanks for the imbibables (did I invent a word?)

Connie, how is Outlaw? Robert?

Gail, a sunny walk sounds wonderful.

Nan, now that school is done, will you have Abbi more often?

Darlene, hope whatever is afoot is afun.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066098
05/10/16 01:24 PM
05/10/16 01:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Wishing everyone a Tootin Toosday laugh

wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066100
05/10/16 01:35 PM
05/10/16 01:35 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Ana and L4L, Robert has an appointment to see the spine Dr. on the 25th. He still has a lot of pain, but does what he can. He can't go back to work, because he uses power equipment. Outlaw seems to be doing pretty good, and the new kitty is not hiding anymore. I'm still waiting to hear some more from Natalie. wave


Connie
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066103
05/10/16 02:13 PM
05/10/16 02:13 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline OP
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
L4L, very limited PT, I do all the exercises at home, but he does the massage and traction for me. Just 3 more to go after today.
Still raining here...

soot, have an awesome day!

Connie, hope they can help Robert. Glad to hear Outlaw is doing well as that kitty is joining the family! yay Prayers heading out for Natalie daily as well as Robert. hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Tuesday Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066112
05/10/16 03:32 PM
05/10/16 03:32 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
thanks for the laughs today Ana happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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