GEORGE R. R. MARTIN
A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge.
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11. Problem Solvers
The kids were painting a project for social studies and got some paint on the floor. Fearing someone might slip, I asked a student to take care of it.
A few minutes later, a piece of
paper appeared on the floor with
the words Caution—Wet Paint.
—Christy Knopp, Fairfield, Ohio
12. Let’s Ask the Professor
During snack time, a kindergartner asked why some raisins were yellow while others were black. I didn’t know the answer, so I asked my friend, a first-grade teacher, if she knew. “Yellow raisins are made
from green grapes, and black raisins
are made from red grapes,” she
explained.
One little boy suggested, “Maybe that’s why she teaches first grade,
because she’s just a little bit smarter than you.”
—Erica Coles, Watertown, Tennessee
13. Buggin’ Out
“In Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis,” I said to my sophomore English class, “a man, discontented with his life, wakes up to find he has been transformed into a large, disgusting insect.”
A student thrust her hand into the air and asked, “So is this fiction or nonfiction?”
—Diane Sturgeon, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
14. Artist’s Rendition
For Columbus Day, I assigned my third-grade class the task of drawing one of Columbus’s three ships. I had no sooner sat down when a boy came up with his paper, which had
a lone dot in the middle.
“What’s that?” I asked.
He replied, “That’s Columbus, way out to sea.”
—Dale Barrett, Concord, New Hampshire
15. Why, Thank You
As I welcomed my first-grade
students into the classroom, one
little girl noticed my polka-dot blouse and paid me the ultimate first-grade compliment: “Oh, you look so beautiful—just like a clown.”
—Priscilla Sawicki,
Charlotte, North Carolina
16. Senior Moment
Halfway through the semester, I discovered that a student was retaking my course, even though he’d gotten an A- the first time through. When I asked him why, he had no recollection of having taken the class before.
“But you know,” he said, after mulling it over, “I thought some of this seemed familiar. I just couldn’t remember where I’d heard it before.”
—Lawanna Lancaster, Nampa, Idaho
17. Everybody’s a Critic
A junior in my English class gave
a big thumbs-down to the autobiography he’d read. His reason: “The
author talks about only himself.”
—Ruth Hunter, Shawnee, Oklahoma
teacher stories reading homework
SERGE BLOCH FOR READER'S DIGEST
18. Sticks and Stones
“I got called the g word,” sobbed
a third-grade girl.
“OK. Let’s calm down,” I said, kneeling beside her. “Now, exactly what were you called?”
Between sobs she blurted, “G …
g … jerk!”
—Steve Wright, Orangevale, California
19. It Doesn’t Add Up
When one girl had finished the
English portion of the state exam, she removed her glasses and started the math questions.
“Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?” she was asked.
She responded, “My glasses are
for reading, not math.”
—Kathy Olson, Roselle, Illinois
20. Fluent in English
Our assistant principal called in
one of my underperforming Intro
to Spanish pupils to ask why he was having trouble with the subject.
“I don’t know. I just don’t understand Ms. Behr,” the boy said. “It’s like she’s speaking another language.”
—Marcia Behr, Indiana, Pennsylvania
21. Here’s to the Parents
The fish tank in my classroom
was brimming with guppies. So
I told the kids they could have some as long as they brought in
a note from home. That’s how I
received the following: “Dear Mrs. Swanson, Would you please give Johnny as many guppies as you can spear, as we are going to bread them.”
—Sheryl Swanson, Billings, Montana
22. During a parent-teacher
conference, a mother insisted
I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper
for calling her subject Henry 8
instead of Henry VIII.
“We have only regular numbers on our keyboard,” she explained. “No Roman numerals.”
—Lisa Rich, Milledgeville, Georgia
23. A note from a student’s mother: “Please excuse Chris from reading, because he doesn’t like it.”
—Roy Hartley, Elberton, Georgia
24. When her child’s towel was
stolen during a school swimming trip, an irate parent demanded
of my mother, “What kind of
juvenile delinquents are in class with my child?!”
“I’m sure it was taken accidentally,” said Mom. “What does it look like?”
“It’s white,” said the parent. “And it says Holiday Inn on it.”
—Heather Lauby, St. Louis, Missouri
These Students Have All the Answers
25. Scene: History class.
Question: Name a famous
explorer.
Answer: Dora.
—James Parks, Red Lion, Pennsylvania
Scene: Science class.
26. Question: Why would we not
see meteors if Earth had no
atmosphere?
Answer: Because we’d all be dead. Hubert Snyder,
—Grand Junction, Colorado
Scene: Second-grade class.
27. Question: How can we show
respect to others?
Answer: If you have a piece of meat, you shouldn’t give it to anyone else if you’ve already licked it.
—Janaye Jones, Mesa, Arizona
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Good morning everyboomie.
I didn't get home until after 5pm. I had to take the dogs for a walk, and then shower, and fix supper.
I really should be in bed already. Gotta get up at 3:30 or....at the stroke of madness.
I hope you all have a very happy day.
C U'all after 2 o'clock.
joe
Scene: Social studies class.
28. Question: What does right to
privacy mean?
Answer: It’s the right to be alone in the bathroom.
—Deborah Berg, Colorado Springs, Colorado
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Hope your early day goes well. I have one, too. 
Always something. 
