SYLVIA EARLE
I hope that someday we will find evidence that there is intelligent life among humans on this planet.
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Quiz: Which of These Dumb Criminals Is Telling the Truth?
Was a bank robbery just 'performance art'? Did one crook have an 'evil twin' giving him a bad name? See if you can guess the truth.
By
Andy Simmons A former art lecturer at MIT was sentenced to a year in jail for robbing a bank. Although he admitted to committing the crime, he insisted he should not serve time.
His excuse: It was done as part of a performance art piece. Source: masslive.com
After a Breathalyzer test showed her blood alcohol level was more than four times the legal limit, a New York State woman was arrested. But, she said, there was an explanation.
Her excuse: She suffered from auto-brewery syndrome, which meant her body created alcohol. Source: CNN
Another disputed DUI occurred in Wisconsin. The 75-year-old driver told officers he hadn’t touched a drop.
His excuse: His blood alcohol level was high because of his dinner—beer-battered fish. Source: WISC-TV
On February 7, at 4:30 p.m., a driver was pulled over for topping 100 mph. The man, however, asked the police officer to be quick, as he was in a hurry.
His excuse: He had tickets for the Super Bowl in Santa Clara, California, and kickoff was at 6:30. Police were skeptical, since the stop
occurred in Pennsylvania. Source: pennlive.com
When a Florida bicyclist was detained, police found crack cocaine in his pants pocket. “Wait, what?!” said the man.
His excuse: He had no idea how the crack had gotten into the pants because they weren’t his pants. The cash the cops found? Yeah, that was his, but not the drugs. Source: Sun-Sentinel (Miami)
A Pennsylvania man was convicted of pulling off ten armed robberies. Although the heists were caught on videos that showed his face, he
denied responsibility.
His excuse: Of course the guy in the videos looked like him. It was his “evil twin.” Source: Las Vegas Sun
So who’s telling the truth?
Let's raise a glass to auto-brewery syndrome lady! ```````````````````````````````````
A first-grade teacher can’t
believe her student isn’t hepped up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”
“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.
“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?”
“Then I’d be a football fan.”
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After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, “Everyone should call in and give one word for that game.”
“What’s your word?” the host
replied.
“Bored out of my mind,” said the caller.
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Does it disturb anyone else that “The Los Angeles Angels” baseball team translates directly to “The The Angels Angels”?
Neil DeGrasse Tyson
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Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team.
“I blame the general manager,” said the first fan. “If he signed better players, we’d be a great team.”
“I blame the players,” said the
second fan. “If they made more of
an effort, we’d score some points.”
“I blame my parents,” said the third. “If I’d been born in Seattle,
I’d be supporting a decent team.”
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The topic of my student’s essay was the importance of trust, camaraderie, and toughness among football
players. “After all,” he wrote, “you don’t want a bunch of pre-Madonnas out there on the field.”
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I recently stumbled upon
my favorite new sports team. It’s
a woman’s bowling squad called
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Gutter.
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Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby.
“I can’t leave,” the doctor says. “But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.”
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. “What did the doctor say?” the victim cries.
“He says you’re gonna die.”
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
Saturday is my 3rd day in a row to work, and then I am off Sun, Mon, Tue.
I don't have to go in to work until 9:00 tomorrow, but I have been up since 3:30am this morning.
If I don't get to bed soon, I turn into a pumpkin, only with me it's more like a Jack-O-Lantern, with evil looking eyes and a stupid grin.
It's ugly, and it scares my girls.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Too much stress at work lately. I'm really looking forward to the weekend. I plan on catching up on more games starting tomorrow. 
Have a lovely day!
)...hope you had fun!
