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Magnificent Monday #1066876
05/15/16 10:47 PM
05/15/16 10:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
GEORGE HERBERT

He who cannot forgive others destroys the bridge over which he himself must pass.

```````````````````````

I was sprawled on the living-room couch watching my favorite show on the Food Network when my husband walked in.

"Why do you watch those food shows?" he asked. "You don’t even cook."

Glaring back at him, I asked, "Then why do you watch football?"

```````````````````````````

Fred comes home from his usual Saturday golf game. "What a terrible day," he tells his wife. "Harry dropped dead on the ninth tee."

"Oh, that’s awful!" she says.

"You’re not kidding," says Fred. "For the whole back nine, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry …"

```````````````````````````````

Looking down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an open seat on the 50-yard line. He asks the man sitting next to it if the seat is taken.

"No," he replies. "I used to bring my wife to all the games, but since her death, I come alone."

"Why don’t you invite a friend?"

"I can’t. They’re all at the funeral."

```````````````````````````

When the patient was wheeled into the emergency room, I could tell he was out of it. I asked if he knew the date. He didn’t. "Do you know what season it is?" He thought a moment. "Baseball?"

```````````````````````````

1. Petty Theft
Football players at the high school where I worked were stealing the practice jerseys, so the coach ordered a set with “Property of Central High School” emblazoned on them. When the thefts continued, he ordered a new batch that had the imprint “Stolen from Central High School.” But the jerseys still kept disappearing. The larceny finally stopped after he changed the wording to “Central High School 4th String.”

— Hal Olsen

2. Sports and Poetry
The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the library. So when my husband’s co-worker saw the gridiron star roaming the stacks looking confused, she asked how she could help.

“I have to read a play by Shakespeare,” he said.

“Which one?” she asked.

He scanned the shelves and answered, “William.”

— Sandra J. Yarbrough

3. Praying for Overtime
My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. He had just turned 75 and was feeling a little wistful. “You know,” he said to our grandson, Nick, “it’s not easy getting old. I guess I’m in the fourth quarter now.”

“Don’t worry, Grandpa,” Nick said cheerily. “Maybe you’ll go into overtime.”

— Evelyn Bredleau

4. Calling the Coach
As a high school football coach, I’m aware that student athletes tend to focus too much on sports. A fellow coach, Bob, was talking about one such player, who called him at home one night. When his wife informed the kid that Bob wasn’t home, he became frantic and said he had to speak to the coach right away. “Just calm down, and I’ll have him call you as soon as he gets home,” the coach’s wife told him. “What’s your number?”

The flustered kid replied, “Forty two."

— Allan Floyd

5. Football Makes Sense
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, they flipped a coin. One team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, Hello-o-o? It’s only 25 cents!”

— Melissa Jones
`````````````````````````

Halfway through dinner one night, our friend Jim told us of his days playing football in college as a defensive lineman.

"Did you play sports in college, Mike?" his wife then asked me.

"Yes," I answered.

"I was on West Point’s shooting team."

"That’s great," she said, appropriately impressed. "Offense or defense?"

```````````````````````````

Our high school has lots of spirit, but that didn’t help the football team, who had yet to win a game. So when our principal saw some cheerleaders sitting in the stands, he asked, "Don’t you think you girls should be down there cheering for your team?"

"I think," one of them said, "we should be down there playing for our team."

````````````````````````

I was sitting behind an enthusiastic mom at my son’s Little League game. Her boy was pitching for the opposing team and she cheered as he threw wild pitch after wild pitch. The poor kid walked every batter. It was only the first inning and the score was 14–0. Then one batter finally smacked the ball.

"Oh no," the mom wailed. "There goes his no-hitter."

``````````````````````````
As a Catholic, I’m partial to Notre Dame football. As a former Michigan resident, though, I also keep tabs on Michigan college teams. One Saturday afternoon, a neighbor dropped in while I was watching Notre Dame vs. Michigan State.

"Which team do you want to win?" he asked.

"Gee, I don’t know," I replied. "I’m kind of torn between Church and State."

``````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


So what's going on today? Anything good? happydance


I'm off again today, so I'm up to no good. snicker


Yesterday I cut the grass, and cut my hair. I also ran the weedeater to trim it all up.......around my ears. grin


Speaking of hair, Baby is shedding her Winter coat, and it's everywhere, so I was using the vacuum cleaner to try and suck it all up, and Baby did not like that one bit. lab


She's so touchy. rolleyes


Pepper likes it even less. blush


I haven't tried it on the little one yet.


Have a happy day everyone. wave2



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066879
05/15/16 11:14 PM
05/15/16 11:14 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I'm going to start the day by sleeping. I hope. I vacuum Merlin, he likes it. Shadow would have a heart attack if I did it to him though. lol

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066901
05/16/16 06:29 AM
05/16/16 06:29 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, and everyone. Joe enjoy your day off. Ana how's the foot healing? Coffee and tea are ready. Happy Day wished for all. spring


Gerry
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066903
05/16/16 07:13 AM
05/16/16 07:13 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,021
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,021
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Waffles in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066909
05/16/16 07:35 AM
05/16/16 07:35 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers wavegirl

Joe, have a great day!

Ana, enjoy whatever the day brings.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Connie. Danish this morning please.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day! hamster


Gail
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: GBC] #1066920
05/16/16 09:30 AM
05/16/16 09:30 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning Ana, Gerry, Connie, Gail, and all. wave2

I'm enjoying my coffee, and waiting for the rain to arrive, but it looks like it's way North of us, and way South of us at the moment. yes

Our chances go up from 60% to 80% later today. Can you say wait and see? razz

In the bye and bye I'll be taking my girls for a walk, and then doing more laundry. Lots of sheets to wash. wink

I hope everyone has a super start to the new week. joy


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066921
05/16/16 09:31 AM
05/16/16 09:31 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Gerry, the break in the bone is worse so it will likely never mend. The surgeon said ligaments and other tissues will take over and fill in and it will hopefully not cause any issues. In the meantime I'm doing what I can to strengthen it. Thanks for the coffee!

Connie, anything fun today?

Gail, have a happy day!

We tied an 1895 record in Chicago yesterday when it hit 35 degrees. It was even colder by me away from the lake. Crazy! we need warmth!

Jo, looks like we posted together and I missed you! I got bedding to wash too, I don't mind washing them, it's the remaking of the beds I hate. lol


Last edited by BrownEyedTigre; 05/16/16 09:37 AM.

Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1066930
05/16/16 10:22 AM
05/16/16 10:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
G'morning Ana. I'm not fond of any of it, but at least I don't have to hang up my bedding, and I don't have to fold it. razz

joe wave2


The rain is here. yes

Last edited by gymcandy1; 05/16/16 10:40 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066936
05/16/16 11:03 AM
05/16/16 11:03 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

I woke up early on this cool AL day. Not as cool as yesterday. In fact, it was "practically perfect" as Mary Poppins would say. A nice temp to walk without having to do sun-to-sun or shade-to-shade.

I'm not sure what is on the agenda for the day..we shall see.

Joe, I used to vacuum our dog and our cats. Been awhile though. You did remind though, so maybe I'll take monkey out and brush him. What does the little one think of Pepper?

Ana, that is really strange. I'm so sorry to hear that. I wonder if laser treatments would help? I'm with you...don't mind washing...hate making. I need the upstairs maid to come for a visit. Heck, she can bring along the downstairs maid, the laundress, and the gardener if you don't mind. wave

Gerry, wavegirl

Connie, waffles sound wonderful! Thanks.

Gail, hope your day is fantastic

Off to make smoothies and breakfast. I'm starving!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066941
05/16/16 11:29 AM
05/16/16 11:29 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, that is so true! I never got the folding of fitted sheets right anyway, so back on the bed they go! lol

L4L, the bone is too far separated to join together. I do ultrasound and stim on it to encourage growth and healing currently. If you see that maid, I really could use her too!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066945
05/16/16 12:00 PM
05/16/16 12:00 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Folding fitted sheets...horrible!

My mom could do it and they were very neat, but mine always look awful!

I'm surprised they didn't do surgery to put the bones together so they could heal. I hope the stim works. I know that is not fun for you. Hugs!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066947
05/16/16 12:23 PM
05/16/16 12:23 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
It's not weight bearing and the ligament is attached to it so unless it causes me excruciating pain they don't want to remove it. Too small to pin otherwise. Honestly my ankle hurts worse on the inside than the part I broke. lol


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066957
05/16/16 01:12 PM
05/16/16 01:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Sounds like you have it well in hand. Hope it heals up soon.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: looney4labs] #1066982
05/16/16 04:34 PM
05/16/16 04:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers.

Heal up fast Ana. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066986
05/16/16 04:42 PM
05/16/16 04:42 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
I hate fitted sheets too! BUT they are the only ones that fit snugly on my mattress with no creases to disturb my sleep. There is a trick to folding them. I taught Home Ec and we had to learn and teach that to the kids. I'll bet nobody does anymore.

Instructions: Put your hand in one pocketed end. Pull the second pocket over that. Fold the sheet in half and do the same for the other 2 corners making one neat 'stacked' pocketed corner.

Lay the sheet on the bed and fold the sheet top (the one with the 4 corners) over and down just to the width of the corners. Then fold the open edged side in just to the width of the pocket.

You should now have a nice rectangle which if smoothed with your hands will be great except just a bit thicker than the other non-folded edge.

Bring the bottom up to the top (pocketed side) and smooth that. Then bring the other side over and continue to fold until you have a nice little neat sheet.

It's all about putting all those pocketed corners inside each other and then the fold down and fold the edge across.

It will never be totally flat, but you can smooth it with your hands.

OR you can do what most of us already do...Just put the freshly washed sheet back on the bed and forget all that folding.

rotfl


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1066995
05/16/16 07:57 PM
05/16/16 07:57 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Yea, Sorta, that's how my mom folded them. But I just wash it and put it back on.

All my mom's washcloths were turned the same way in the stack...mine are lucky to be folded rotfl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1067000
05/16/16 10:30 PM
05/16/16 10:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Wow I've missed a lot while I was gone. Ana I'm sorry you had a break. Will it heal? I'm very familiar of ankle breaks. I'm sending healing prayers your way My Dear.

I'm waiting for Friday for my surgery on my nose. I'll let you guys know how it went. Connie I'm asking for BB pancakes in the morning. I've missed so many over the past week or so.

Have a good night everyone. See you in the morning.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
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