Bloopers and mistatements from ESL students about their mothers and fathers.
(Don’t say these things about your Momma!)
My mother is an inferior decorator.
My father is a highly rank government official.
My mother wants me to marry a good, successful man, but I want to marry my boyfriend.
My father has to wear expensive business dresses to work everyday.
My mother is amazing woman. Do you know she had a baby seven times.
I always ate lunch at school. But every day my mother made me suffer.
My father is one of my favorite parents.
My bed has three blankets and a large guilt my parents gave me.
My parents are very supporting. They pay me to study far away from them.
My father met us at the airport and gave me a big hog. Then he hogged my wife.
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These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English.
According to new English language students
FAVORITE MOVIE TITLES
1. Sleepless in the Saddle.
2. Mrs. Congenitality.
3. The Exercisist.
4. The Umpire Strikes Back.
5. Bridget Jones’s Diarrhea.
6. While You Were Slipping.
7. Oh Brothel, Where Art Thou?
8. Risqué Business.
9. Confessions of a Dangerous Mime.
10. The Good Farter.
Dishonorable mention:
sex teen candles.
The Day after Yesterday.
The Runaway Broad
Stall Walls
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A MURDER TRIAL
These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English.
There was a wrongful death shoot.
The death of the victim was fatal.
The deafened ant entered the court room.
He didn’t want the flea bargain.
The judge dressed the members of the jury.
The first witness held up her hand and swore at the Bible.
He was found guilty of mothering the victim
he will spend at least fifty years going to a prison
The newspaper said he can’t get out of jail until he has finished his life sentence.
At least now he won’t kill someone twice.
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(Snorkling and Skydiving bloopers and mistakes)
I know how to sky dive in the ocean.
You have to put big bottles on your back so you can have good breath.
You should have big rubber feet.
At this time, put the glass over your face so your eyes don’t get salted.
Then you can jump on the ocean.
Try not to get water in your snozzle.
This is how you can drown in water without being dangerous.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to another one, just like the other one........BUT!.....totally different.
It'll be a nuther hot muggy day. Good rain chances, bla bla bla
Today is Tuesday though.
That means...
it's not...
Monday
an-y-
MORE! Of course, I'm off Wednesday and Thursday, so I can hardly call it Tuesday either.
Except it is.
Have a happy Tuesday everyone.
joe