The imprint of the father, remains forever on the life of the child. – Roy Lessin.
Sometimes I think my papa is an accordion. When he looks at me and smiles and breathes, I hear the notes. – Markus Zusak.
A father’s tears and fears are unseen, his love is unexpressed, but his care and protection remains as a pillar of strength throughout our lives. – Ama H. Vanniarachchy.
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A salesman talked my dad into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that
he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed.
Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with
32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.
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One day I noticed my dad standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” I said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
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The black lacquer stand
holding his prized samurai swords was dusty, so my husband left our cleaning lady a note, reading, “Check out my swords.” That evening, he found the stand just as dirty as
before but with this appended to
his note: “Nice swords.”
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I’ve been working on my PhD
in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don’t necessarily see that as work.
As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get
a job there.
Hoping to make a point, I asked, “Do you think they’re looking for an engineer?”
“Oh, sure,” he said. “They’ll hire anybody.”
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Scene: A conversation with my friend’s father, who knows I do
Web design.
Father: I have a business idea. How hard is it to make a Facebook?
Me: Oh, very easy.
Friend: He doesn’t mean to make
a Facebook profile. He means to
remake all of Facebook.
Me: Oh. Very hard.
Father: Oh, OK.
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The biggest change after having kids was putting a swear jar in the house. Whenever I say a bad word,
I have to put a dollar in the jar, and
at the end of every month, I take all that money and buy myself a nice steak for being such a cool dad.
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“Has your son decided what
he wants to be when he grows up?”
I asked my friend.
“He wants to be a garbageman,”
he replied.
“That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.”
“Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.”
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My ten-month-old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place. My wife said to me, “Straighten her up.”
I looked at my daughter and said, “What are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this way forever? It’s time to grow up.”
My wife hasn’t asked me to do anything since.
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None of my grandsons share my corny sense of humor. When the family is eating lasagna, I say, “Lean over your plate, boys. You’ll get
less-on-ya.” I say to the ten-year-old, “Don’t yell through the screen; you’ll strain your voice.” And when I took another grandson to the zoo, I asked, “Do you know why that snake’s not pressed against the glass? He doesn’t want to be a windshield viper.”
They’ll probably laugh later.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.
I wish I had children.........................that lived a bit closer to me.
Closer than 2000 miles away.
Then I could see my grandchildren more often.
No wait. I don't have any grandchildren.
My boys have to be bribed into giving me grandkids.
They're waiting on their inheritance.
I'm leaving all my money to my grandchildren.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe