Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

DAVE BARRY

`````````````````````````

Actual Medical Record Entries Mistakes From Doctors

Discharge status: alive but without permission.

The patient has been depressed ever since
she began seeing me in 1983.

The patient refused an autopsy.


The patient has no past history of suicides.

Patient has left his white blood cells
at another hospital.

Between you and me, we ought to be able
to get this lady pregnant.

She is numb from her toes down.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband,
I thought you would like to work her up.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

Both breasts are equal and reactive
to light and accommodation.

`````````````````````


These are excuse notes that school secretaries have actually received. Some of these were in an article in the Detroit News back in the 1970s.

“Please excuse John for being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33.”

“Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat.”

“Please excuse Joey Friday. He had loose vowels.”

“Please excuse Joyce from jim today.”

“Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. He fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”

“Karl was hit yesterday playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”

“John was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.”

“Please excuse Gloria. She has been sick and under the doctor.”

“Please excuse Sarah from being absent yesterday. She was sick and I had her shot.”

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

“Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father’s fault.”

`````````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie.


Shall we start a nuther week?


This morning I'm driving over to another town to visit with the VA rep. It'll be a 40 or 45 minute drive, so I'll leave pretty early.


He used to be here on Mondays, and then they took my town out of his rotation. There's somebody else here, but this guy is who I am familiar with.


Anyway at 9:30 now it's past my crib time.


Have a happy Monday everyone.


joe

THese weeks just keep flying by! Good luck with the VA, Joe!

Have a happy day all! Errands and a dog run and then the day is free for me.

Ana

Have a terrific Monday Joe, Ana and all who follow.

It's late Sunday night for me, and I'm off to sleep. It looks like I have a three day weekend. Thorsgoats and I have started Dreamfall Chapters from the beginning, so we'll probably work on that some more tomorrow. He wants to start over so things will be fresh in his mind when he begins Book 5.

Anyway, time to sleep. Have a great day, everyone.

Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and everyone. Good Luck today Joe. Ana have a relaxing day. Venus have fun gaming. Coffee and tea are ready when you all are! Have a great day everyone.

Good morning everyone. It's gonna be a hot one here. I have a busy day today. Another split shift day. Well, I'd better get going, I hope you all have a great day.

Midgie

Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and French Toast in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, good luck with the VA.

Ana, have a great day!

Midgie, hope your work is easy today. Stay cool.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Venus, enjoy the game.

Connie, good day wishes.

Got to get some bloodwork done this morning. Wishing everyone a wonderful day!

Good morning everybody.

I'm back from my meeting. It's a beautiful sunny day, but it's going to be another hot one. My dogs are wanting to get out, so I'm fixing to take them to the park to run.

After that, I'll be back to cool down.

I hope you're all enjoying your day so far, and have a great day,

joe

It's the first day of Summer and it has hit here with a vengeance! It was pretty hot yesterday towards the afternoon (about 78) but this morning at 8 am it was already EIGHTT and climbing. Wow! I thought it would never get here. Wearing SHORTS for the first time in a LONG time.

Discovered that my 'new' eating habits are paying off. Since January I've lost 15 lbs and when I put on my Sportif Shorts with the button waistband (usually I'm all for elastic) they were LOOSE! Wowwieee. Last time I had them on, it was uncomfortable and a major stretch to get the button buttoned. Nice. Feeling just a tiny bit thinner. I think the cholesterol pills my doctor insisted I take, are also helping somehow. Haven't been down this low in 10 years. Don't panic, I've got plenty of 'insulation'. I'll be the first one the Zombies choose to munch on.

CATS: I'm positive that poor Gimpy is no more. He's not been seen now for almost a week. If I don't smell any odors under the house soon, I'm going to assume he wandered back to his 'birthplace' wherever that may be. He wandered in, now I think he went back for his last trip. He never left my deck area since he arrived years ago. AND the other Outdoorsies are acting differently with each other. Mini-Me (Gimpy's wife) used to cry to him at breakfast to wake him up so they could rub heads, etc. Since he disappeared, she has not tried to find him. Ninja, the only other male cat who was born in my yard 8 years ago, is now acting like the 'head cat'. He's roaming the entire yard (on the front porch too, not normal for him) and this morning, he was actually lying right next to Lazarus and Mini-Me in the neighbor's yard! I think the 'head cat' position is filled. Now it's up to Ninja to guard everyone and the entire property. He's been living (except for meals) in my empty back lot and in the neighbor's lot adjacent.

So interesting to watch the dynamics of the 'pride'. Ninja still nursing that sprained shoulder, but he's doing fine. Using that leg now for walking and low jumping. Running is still on 3 legs. He will survive. He doesn't complain except when I accidently pushed that shoulder up when I was rubbing his tummy. Strange cat. He LOVES his tummy rubbed and rolls over to let me, but he won't let me pick him up or get near him most of the time.

Going out to watch the workers on the old house. It's going to be 90+ today so they say and I believe them. Not good for guys working outside or in a house with no air conditioning. Feel bad for them but I guess they do this all the time and are used to it. I'm just going to sit here, under the fan, and watch TV and play games. MY yard work can wait. Too darned hot and humid. Humid is the key. Can't go outside with dripping. Ugh!

Magnificent Monday ya'll

Busy busy morning here! Hungry little boys, kitchen to clean, dogs to feed, took Keoki on a SHORT walk, me to feed, laundry to do, and now books to cook I think.

Last night must have been National Do Not Sleep Night. I had a rough night, hubby had a rough night, and daughter just said so did she. Boys don't have to nap today, but they may find themselves playing quietly in their room so I can nap in the den with Kman.

Joe, hope the VA visit accomplished what you needed it to.

Ana, hope you are well into free time by now.

Venus, have fun. I like to play serially released games through continuously also. I have to go back and read books that have long times between releases in trilogies, etc.

Midgy, how is the graft doing?

Connie, have a great day.

Gail, hopes the bloodwork comes back just perfectly.

Sorta, glad you are enjoying some warmer temps. I'm counting the days til they go away

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope the rest of your Monday is easy peasy!

Good afternoon, sweet 'Boomies!

Currently, it is 106 degrees here in my little community!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Good afternoon Boomers.

Eeeek Darlene, I hope the humidity is low.

Afternoon, Space, welcome home

Hi L4L. The graft is starting to look very good. The swelling has gone down. I wish the doctor would take out the stitches but there must be a reason he's leaving them alone.

I'm off to work again. The weather is hot but not as hot as some of you.

See you later.

Midgie

Hope work is fun, Midgy!

looney

Watching a little TV before I have to go to bed as I need to get up early tomorrow. I hope you all had a great day.

Midgie

Good night Boomers.

Sweet dreams y'all

Good night, everyone.

See you all tomorrow.