CHINESE PROVERB
There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same.
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Painfully Funny Obituaries
You’d die of embarrassment if these phrases appeared in your obituary:
“She leaves behind a brother and 117 cats.”
“Passed away in a failed stunt that has already been viewed more than 40 million times on YouTube.”
“Was always quick to point out others’ grammatical errors.”
“Survived by his parents and his animatronic wife, Elizabot.”
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Harry Potter Sequels
After J. K. Rowling announced that she might write a Harry Potter sequel—he was last seen as a married dad—The Week asked its readers to predict the title of the next book. Here’s what they divined:
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fiber
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Ask-Your-Mom
Harry Potter and the Financial Portfolio of Doom
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Kidney Stone
Harry Potter and the Quest to Buy a House in the Hogwarts School District
Harry Potter and the Quidditch Mom
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Home Selling Mistakes
It’s tough enough selling a home nowadays. Don’t make the mistakes that turned off these readers on the City Room blog of The New York Times:
• “It was a good house, well-maintained. But the bed with the person in it was off-putting.”
• “The family dog, long departed, was stuffed and standing next to the fireplace. RIP Sparky.”
• “The main distraction was dirt. Although there was the tiny child who proudly showed us the refrigerator full of ‘Daddy’s beer’ just outside an upstairs bedroom.”
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Canada wants us to remember that it, too, is part of North America. So The Week asked its readers to come up with an eye-catching slogan for our neighbor to the north.
Canada: Where Your Cold Front Begins
Canada: It’s Not Just for Draft Dodgers Anymore
Canada: Land of Cheaper Drugs
Canada: Where Winter Spends the Summer
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A newspaper editor missed this headline: “State population to double by 2040; babies to blame.”
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Rockstar Life
The band Kings of Leon cut short a concert after pigeons bombarded them with poop. Bass player Jared Followill couldn’t say how many birds there were. “The last thing I was going to do was look up,” he told CNN.
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What’s the toughest part about writing a book? It’s deciding what to call it, as these finalists for the Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year prove.
Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter
An Intellectual History of Cannibalism
Father Christmas Needs a Wee!
Collectible Spoons of the 3rd Reich
The Changing World of Inflammatory Bowel Disease
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Scary business headline:
“Air Traffic Controllers Can Apply for Job in Braille”
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Safe Haven Small Animal Hospital
24 Hour Veterinary Service
Bill Mosley, DVM
200 E. Norway
936-4798
Hunters Welcome!
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Coincidences were flying when a man was arrested and charged with stealing a bird feeder from Cornell University’s ornithology laboratory. According to the Associated Press, police charged James Buzzard, 44, who lives on Cardinal Drive in Ithaca, N.Y., with stealing the feeder from the lab on Sapsucker Woods Road.
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Good morning everyboomie.
I am sitting here watching Underworld Evolution and waiting for the drowsies to hit me.
I hope they hit fast and hard like a freight train. I'm ready for my nappie.
Of course it doesn't help one bit watching Kate Beckinsale as Selene the vampire in skin tight leather.
My blood pressure is a little bit elevated.
I may not sleep the rest of the week.
Can you just imagine the bags under my eyes?
They'll have to be checked the next time I fly.
Have a happy day y'all.
joe
acebook
witter
Thanks for the chuckles! 
Ana hope it's painless at the dentist! 
Venus have a fun 3 days off doing what you want to do! 
Coffee and tea are ready and waiting! Happy Monday to you all! 
tonight.
looney. 