General Mills
is coming out with an organic Twinkie. Isn’t that called a sponge?
Jay Leno
`````````````````````````
Wandering inside a pet store,
I stopped in front of a birdcage to
admire a parakeet. We watched each other for a few minutes before it asked, “Can’t you talk?”
```````````````````````
My son and I were checking out
a house he was interested in buying. When the owner came to the door, she looked at me and said, “Larry?
I know you. We went to school
together. I’m Elaine. Don’t you
recognize me?”
I drew a complete blank.
She took out our old yearbook and showed me her graduation picture—still nothing. “Let’s look at your
picture,” she said.
She flipped the pages until she came to me. Under my photo I
had written, “Elaine, I will never
forget you.”
````````````````````````````
“Halt!” shouted our drill
instructor. He had noticed that, for the umpteenth time, a recruit kept going to his right on a left command. Our instructor approached the
directionally challenged Marine
and stomped on his left foot. “Now,” he said, “when I say ‘left,’ it’s the
one that hurts.”
`````````````````````````
Scene: Horseback-riding stable.
Mom: Those horses are awfully big for my daughter.
Me: Our horses are very sweet …
Mom: Don’t you have something smaller? What about that one over there? It’s the perfect size for her!
Me: Um … that’s a goat.
````````````````````````
Scene: Horseback-riding stable.
Mom: Those horses are awfully big for my daughter.
Me: Our horses are very sweet …
Mom: Don’t you have something smaller? What about that one over there? It’s the perfect size for her!
Me: Um … that’s a goat.
``````````````````````````
Delta Airlines is infusing its cabins with a lavender-and-chamomile scent called Calm. The Week asked its readers to come up with a better name to match “the ambience of the packed economy cabin.”
“Eau the Humanity” —Serena Meyer
“Giorgio’s Arm-on-me” —Wade Etheredge
“Chanel No. 5 Inches of Legroom” —Austin King
“Claustrophobique” —Cynthia Pocali
“Mist Connection” —Cary Berkowitz
“The 99 Per-scent” —Julia Flagg
````````````````````````
My son was born while I was serving abroad, so he was three
before we met. When I got home, I decided it was time for a little father-son bonding time. I bought him a
toy razor and invited him to “shave” with me. In the bathroom, I took
up my razor and started shaving.
I looked around to see how my son was doing. His foot was up on the side of the bathtub, and he was
running the razor up and down
his leg. So much for male bonding.
`````````````````````````
One of the most popular questions asked at our family restaurant is “What’s good tonight?”
Now, we would never serve anything we didn’t think was good. So
I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question posed to my husband.
He calmly replied, “Anything over $17.95.”
`````````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
We are at the hump, and heading down hill toward the weekend.
I'm not so sure that's a good thing in my case. I work Friday.
Chances are better than fair that I work Saturday as well, and maybe Sunday.
Well if that's the case, then let the fun begin. I did laundry today and my other pair of jeans, and my other two shirts are all clean.
The shirts may get a little ripe on that second day though with this 94 degree weather.
I'll just wear extra cologne, and try and keep my arms down.
Gotta go now, I'm watching The Client.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Good Morning Joe, MaG, and everyone. Joe not a bad schedule for work. MaG have a great day. Coffee and tea are ready for you all. Enjoy your day! 
Poor thing. She'll do just fine though. 
looney 
