Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
MARGARET MEAD
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I decided to make myself useful and do a load of the family laundry. When I took the clothes out of the machine, I discovered — to my dismay — that I had also washed the watch my wife had given me while we were dating. “Don’t expect me to replace it,” she said later with an obvious lack of sympathy. By the time Father’s Day rolled around, however, she had relented and gave me a beautiful new watch. Attached was a note with this stipulation: “DRY-CLEAN ONLY!”
Submitted by Paul Diblasi
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Our Gen-X daughter, Cristie, made my husband a Father’s Day card entitled “Things My Dad Would Never Say.” Such as:
“Can you turn up that music?”
“Go ahead and take my truck. Here’s 50 bucks for gas.”
“I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones.”
“Here, you take the remote.”
Submitted by Deanna Schneider
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I think I’ve finally decoded the
language of sale-a-day websites:
Statement jewelry = large and ugly
Lots of personality = odd and ugly
Cutting-edge = disturbing and ugly
Debbie Skolnik, Scarsdale, New York
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A headline in my local newspaper: “Appleton Airport May Soon Be Known as Appleton Airport.”
Allison Nastoff, Brookfield, Wisconsin
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Heard over the plant’s paging
system: “Will John Porter please
return to where you were before you went where you are.”
Irene Onorato, Plymouth, Massachusetts
Part-Time Work
Scene: A man applying for credit
at a department store.
Clerk: What do you do for a living?
Man: I’m a tree trimmer.
Clerk: What do you do after Christmas?
Ruth Sadeckas, Joelton, Tennessee
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When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature.
Did it work? Well, one time, as I proudly puffed away at our NCO club, an older
sergeant growled, “Hey, kid, your candy bar’s on fire.”
James Bushart, Cassville, Missouri
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Good morning everyboomie.
I had trouble getting on line, and now I'm having the dickens negotiating the internet.
I have to get up at 4:30, and I'm very behind getting myself ready for bed.
I wish you all a very happy and safe Sunday.
joe