As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
BUDDY HACKETT
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I mentioned to my sons that some teens used Facebook to plan a robbery at a local mall.
“How did the NSA miss that?” my 21-year-old asked.
“I told you guys,” said my 17-year-old. “No one uses Facebook
anymore.”
—Mary-Heather Reynolds, Prattville, Alabama
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Who wouldn’t be inspired
to hire this young man? If his
cover letter is to be believed, he’s
eager to light a fire under the most recalcitrant colleague:
“I am a
motivated, self-igniting person.”
—Source: heartland.org
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It’s easy to get disoriented when visiting New York City. One
befuddled tourist asked his hotel concierge, “The last time we were
in NYC, we got out of a subway, and we saw some water and some boats. Do you know where that is?”
via howmaywehateyou.com
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My daughter said something to me that I didn’t think was very polite. I told her she needed to say it again in a nicer way—so she repeated it with a British accent.
via lamebook.com
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I was showing my kids an old rotary phone when my nine-year-old asked, “How did you text on it?”
My 15-year-old daughter roared with laughter, until a thought occurred to her: “Wait, where did you store
your contacts?”
Tara Price, Leesburg, Georgia
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My grandmother called to tell me she’d gotten an e-mail account. “Great,” I said. “Send me a message so I’ll have your e-mail address.” I waited and waited, but she never sent it. Several days later, an envelope arrived—Grandma had written her info on a piece of paper and mailed it to me.
Meagan Lundgren, Calgary, Ontario
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My nine-year-old and I passed
a store with a sign that read “Watch Batteries Installed—$5.”
He seemed confused: “Who would pay to watch batteries installed?”
Deb Morris, North Creek, New York
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When my husband’s friend gave his order at a fast-food restaurant, the cashier asked for his name.
“It’s Stephen, with a ph,” he said.
Soon after, he was handed his
order and a receipt, which had his name on it: Pheven.
Wendy Dewberry, Pell City, Alabama
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Good morning everyboomie.
I hope you're all doin great today.
Right now I've had it with my computer, and internet,
Everything is slow, slow , slow. I type a sentence, and then wait for it to appear on the page, before I type the next one.
I try and space down or scroll, and then WAIT. argh!!!
I don't think it's the computer at all. I think it's my internet signal. Maybe my modem.
Maybe it's the weather.
It's making me real cranky!!
Happy Monday everyone.
Is that an oxymoron?
joe
acebook
witter
Hope it gets straightened out soon. And yes, happy Monday is generally an oxymoron. 
on your travels, Ana! Hope all goes well!
everyone! I'm off for the day. 
I had a great time at the concert/firework show with my mom. So Monday is going to be a relaxing/gaming day. 
Nan
Sorry you are having the slows....soooooooooooooo aggravating. I have that same "I don't want to do it" syndrome here. 
Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and, whatever you decide to do today, hope you have a 