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Tuesday's #1073146
07/04/16 09:49 PM
07/04/16 09:49 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
INGRID BERGMAN

Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get.

``````````````````

A client walked into my design studio with a black-and-white flyer.

Client: Can you make a color copy?

Me: Do you have the original?

Client: No. Just this one.

Me: Sorry, I can’t make color copies unless I have the original color version.

Client (confused): Why can’t you just run it through the color copier?

—From clientsfromhell.net

````````````````````````````````

Passive-Aggressive Notes Left for Noisy Neighbors:

• “Hi. Just thought you might like to know that I think your pet elephants have been bowling while you’re out. —Your Downstairs Neighbor.”

• “Good morning! We hope your 
exorcism was successful last night. We do ask as a courtesy that you limit expelling demons to Friday or Saturday nights. Thank you in advance.”

• “Dear Neighbor, Your car’s sound system is amazing. It is so loud and the bass is so rockin’ that it actually shakes all the apartment buildings 
in the complex. Awesome!”

—Source: thepoke.co.uk

`````````````````````````````````

Penn Jillette, the chatty half of the magic duo Penn & Teller, shared with us his favorite clean joke:

Two racehorses are in a stable. One says to the other, “You know, 
before that last race …”

“The one that you won?” asks the other horse.

“Yeah, before that race, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters.”

The other horse says, “Funny, 
I felt a pinch in my hindquarters 
before the race that I won.”

A dog walking by says, “You 
idiots, you’re being doped. They’re injecting you with a drug to make you faster!”

The first horse turns to the other and says, “Hey, a talking dog!”

```````````````````````````

Add Word, Ruin Movie

It doesn’t take much to ruin a film. Sometimes all you have to do is add a word to the title, such as:

• The Girl with the Washable 
Dragon Tattoo
• Game of Porcelain Thrones
• The KFC Bucket List

—From twitter.com/ruinmoviee

``````````````````````

A police officer pulled over a guy for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walked up to the driver’s window and asked, “You drinkin’?”

The driver said, “You buyin’?”

`````````````````````````````````

On February 4, we’ll celebrate ten years of people posting unintentionally funny status updates from their office cubicles when they should be working. Here are some of the crazier ones:

• STATUS: My baby boy is officially one year old!!!! Can’t believe it’s already been 656 days!



• STATUS: Craving food I don’t 
have. My first world problem 
this morning.

COMMENT: Well, it’s kind of 
a third world problem too.



• STATUS: I think about him 31/7 cause he’s on my mind even when I’m sleeping.

COMMENT: There’s still 24 hours in a day when you’re sleeping.

STATUS: Wait, huh?



• STATUS: Dear Facebook, Thanks for informing me it’s my wife’s birthday today. Do you know what would be more useful?!?! Some kind of warning system … i.e., notification that it’s her birthday in a few days!

—From lamebook.com


`````````````````````````````````

A Saudi prince goes to America to study. A month later, he e-mails his father: “New York is wonderful, but I’m ashamed to go to school in 
my gold Mercedes because all my 
teachers travel by subway.”

A few minutes later, his dad writes back: “Stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a subway too!”

```````````````````

A surveyor drops by Will’s farm in eastern Minnesota and announces that he has some bad news. “I discovered that your farm isn’t in Minnesota,” he says. “It’s actually in Wisconsin.”

Will lets out a sigh of relief. “That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time,” he says. “I was just telling my wife this morning that I don’t think I can take another winter in Minnesota.”

``````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I'm sitting here watching fireworks, on Star Wars Force Awakens. thumbsup


I hope you all had a grand old 4th. USA


I took the dogs to the park early, and then in-between my many naps I managed to wash most of my dirty clothes. bravo


I also managed to walk 2 miles on the treadmill. happydance


I'm not limber enough to pat myself on the back. I have to do it metaphorically. snicker


There's nothing like feeling like a hamster.....that owns two dogs and a bird. razz


Have a happy Tuesday everyone. yes


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073150
07/04/16 10:11 PM
07/04/16 10:11 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
I'll pat your back for you! yay Joe - you did a good job of laundry and doing 2 miles. Seriously - bravo

wave to one and all. Have a happy DAY!

Ana - hope things are well with you!

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073153
07/04/16 10:20 PM
07/04/16 10:20 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, I really enjoyed that movie. thumbsup And I will echo MaG - great job on the laundry and two miles! woot

Have a fantastic day, MaG! wave

It's Monday night for me, and tomorrow it's back to work once again. woozy Hope I can sleep, since so many are setting off fireworks here in the apartment complex. lol

Hope everyone has a great Tuesday. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073169
07/05/16 05:47 AM
07/05/16 05:47 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, MaG, venus and everyone. Coffee and tea are ready. Enjoy your day everyone! wave


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073177
07/05/16 07:34 AM
07/05/16 07:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers wave2

Joe, keep up the good work.

MaG, good day wishes!

Venus, have a great workday!

Gerry, coffee please and thank you.

Had a busy weekend. Back to routine now. Raining this morning so no dog walk. Wishing everyone a wonderful, peaceful day! happydance


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073178
07/05/16 07:35 AM
07/05/16 07:35 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Tuesday. Our 4th of July party was a big success. Vet appointment for Outlaw this morning. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073184
07/05/16 09:41 AM
07/05/16 09:41 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning everyone! We haven't had any luck getting our portable wifi running in the mountains although it worked great in the car the whole ride up. So I'm posting via my phone. I wish you all a great day! I will be hiking to a waterfall today and checking out surroundings. It's just so beautiful here!

Have an awesome day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: connie] #1073196
07/05/16 11:13 AM
07/05/16 11:13 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Holy moly, already feeling like 104 out there. Think I'll stay in. Except I might have to go shopping a bit. We leave on Thursday for a family reunion and I need some things. We shall see.

Good job, Joe! Is the treadmill new?

MaG, wave

Venus, hope you got your needed sleep. They finally stopped around 11:30 last night here in our neighborhood.

Gerry, thanks for the refreshments.

Gail, Isn't it nice to get back to the routine. Hope the busy weekend was also a fun one.

Connie, is Outlaw still struggling with ear problems?

Ana, have fun! I love the mountains.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073200
07/05/16 12:00 PM
07/05/16 12:00 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
It was a grand 4th of July. NO gunshots this year. How strange. Lots of nice fireworks from the private country club 2 blocks North. Perfect view and as good as the 'real' ones. They started 15 minutes before all the rest and we had to run out to the porch in the middle of our video.

The neighbors up the street didn't disappoint either. At least 3 different houses shot off rockets as big as the real shows. HUGE, booming, awesome. Someone spent a ton of money on those. A little too close for comfort though. I saw the guy who always does fireworks in his yard or in the street come over to my most unfavorite neighbor guy (who has had fireworks in the past too) and I think they were just warning him about what was going to happen. BIG booms. Wow.

All in all, though, quiet night. A very nice evening.

Today, I get to go down to my friend/tenant's and see if the stupid guy who attempted to rob his outdoor storage cabinet came back. I caught him down there in the afternoon, thought he was looking for cans and bottles in the trash (like HE told me) but then I remembered he had the recycle bin tipped over towards him and was looking or reaching behind it. Didn't think anything of it as I told him it was private property, no trespassing signs all over, and he wasn't to come back. He introduced himself as Hector, shook my hand and left towards his 'friend's' house which of course is the dreaded apartments that have been fairly quiet for a long time now.

He said he was 'behind' in his collecting and his friend was way ahead and he had to hustle. The friend is a transient who is prolific on getting cans and rides a bicycle to which he has strapped 15 or more huge garbage bags full of cans. He has so many sometimes, he falls over, cans spill out all over the sidewalk and street and he has to start over again. He's usually drunk anyway.

So Hector, was lying about the cans, he was actually breaking into the cabinet which had a really weak lock which wasn't totally closed. We found the lock on the ground. My friend cleaned the lock, put it back correctly and now we wait. I also put a HUGE 'you are on camera, sign on the cabinet and added HECTOR...don't even try it. Hope he got the message one way or another. He's obviously scouting out things to steal and no one is safe. Hate that.

Time to go check it out. sherlock


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: MaG] #1073210
07/05/16 02:01 PM
07/05/16 02:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Hello Mag, and everybody. It's not quite morning anymore. I took the dogs to the park at 8:00, and then went and bought groceries. After we got back, I started doing the bedding, and I mowed the lawn. It's pretty warm outside, but overcast again, and breezy so I decided to hop on the mower and get that out of the way, and off my list. slapforehead

I still have house cleaning to do, and walking of course. yes

Lunch first. yes


I hope everyone is having a good day. rah

L4L I just bought the treadmill. I had one in St Louis that was working when I moved down here, but six years of sitting out there in storage pretty much killed it. smirk


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073211
07/05/16 04:08 PM
07/05/16 04:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073212
07/05/16 04:35 PM
07/05/16 04:35 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Yea, Joe, time in storage tends to do that to things. You need to teach the dogs to walk on it.

Space, welcome home. How was the day?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1073214
07/05/16 05:41 PM
07/05/16 05:41 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
looney,

Not so good. I got very used to not setting the alarm over the long weekend so it was not a big moment when the alarm went off this morning. At least it is a short week. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073217
07/05/16 06:06 PM
07/05/16 06:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
I can imagine it wasn't sad Yes, it is good it's a short week. lab


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1073225
07/05/16 07:46 PM
07/05/16 07:46 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Is Keoki back to 100%?


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073230
07/05/16 08:44 PM
07/05/16 08:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Not quite 100% yet...still working on his stamina and adjusting his pain meds but he is doing well lab


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073234
07/05/16 10:03 PM
07/05/16 10:03 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Night all. I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is my only day off in about 2 weeks. Boy do I need a day off. L4L I'm glad Keoki is doing better.

See you in the morning.

Midgie hearts wavegirl


Just do it.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1073239
07/06/16 01:21 AM
07/06/16 01:21 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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