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Joe's Hump Day #1073920
07/12/16 10:58 PM
07/12/16 10:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
TENNEVA JORDAN

A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

```````````````````````

A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor…

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.

“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.

“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

````````````````````````````````

I’ve been working on my PhD 
in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don’t necessarily see that as work.
As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get 
a job there.

Hoping to make a point, I asked, “Do you think they’re looking for an engineer?”

“Oh, sure,” he said. “They’ll hire anybody.”

`````````````````````````````````

I guess this is what happens after you’ve worked at the same place for a while. I was eating at a fast-food restaurant when an employee began his shift by walking into the kitchen area and calling out, “Honey, I’m home!”

```````````````````````````````

Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four 
elderly women. The Week asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could be made about this bust:

Golden Girls, Interrupted

The Lavender Hair Mob

Indicting Miss Daisy

No Country for Old Women

The Social Security Network

````````````````````````````

As the hostess at the casino 
buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my 
husband, who would be joining me 
momentarily. I started to describe him: “He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly …”

She stopped me there. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. They all look like that.”

```````````````````````````````````

“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

``````````````````````````````````

“Come Out With Your Pants Up!”

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

```````````````````````````````

The Time Traveling Soldier

When a soldier came to the 
clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an 
attractive, young technician. Sometime later, when the examination 
was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. The soldier remarked, “How long was 
I in there for?”

```````````````````````````````

After trick-or-treating, 
a teen takes a shortcut home 
through the cemetery. Halfway across, he’s startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots 
an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.

“I thought you were a ghost,” 
says the relieved teen. “What are you 
doing working so late?”

“Oh, those idiots,” grumbles the old man. “They misspelled my name!”

``````````````````````````````

"You Need a Shorter Password."

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.

“It’s taped under the modem,” 
I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

````````````````````````````

In the hardware store, a 
clerk asked, “Can I help you find 
anything?”

“How about my misspent youth,” joked my husband.

The clerk shot back, “We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets.”

```````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Tuesday was hot hot hot, and I took the dogs to the park in the morning, and then came back and mowed the lawn inside the fence. yes


After that I trimmed with my weedeater until my weedeater lost it's appetite, and I lost my cool. slapforehead


I was able to last longer because the wind was blowing pretty good. I hope Wednesday is windy too. I need to finish mowing outside the fence. happydance


I'd better go rest up for that. sleep


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1073921
07/12/16 11:45 PM
07/12/16 11:45 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
Joe,

It is the start of lounging around and still be busier than ever. Enjoy!

Hello to everyone! wave

Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1073923
07/13/16 01:12 AM
07/13/16 01:12 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, we climbed and hiked over 8 miles yesterday in Moab in 100 degrees. I feel like a crispy critter. lol last day of work?

MaG, hearts

Have a happy day all! We are driving back to our house we are staying at in Sundance after two fun days in Moab. It's late and we are tired but still have a couple hours to go.

Ziplining today! Yeehaaaaa

Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1073932
07/13/16 04:59 AM
07/13/16 04:59 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
summer Good Morning Joe, MaG, Ana and everyone.Joe hope it cools down! MaG enjoy your day. Ana have fun ziplining! Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a wonderful day! summer


Gerry
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1073941
07/13/16 07:06 AM
07/13/16 07:06 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Hump Day. Going with a friend to my favorite seafood place for lunch. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1073959
07/13/16 09:15 AM
07/13/16 09:15 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers summer

Joe, Just think you have the freedom to do anything you want and nobody to answer to but yourself. ( long as it's legal. )

Ana, you wear me out just thinking about hiking I mile let alone 8. And as far as Zip lining. scared

MaG, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day!

Gerry, enjoy the day. Getting hotter out here.

Connie, enjoy your seafood today.

Wishing everyone a super duper day! lab


Gail
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1073961
07/13/16 09:16 AM
07/13/16 09:16 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope your day is windy, Joe. smile

Have a great day, MaG.

Sounds like you're having a great time, Ana! woot

Thanks for the tea, Gerry. thumbsup

Have fun with your friend, Connie. thumbsup

I'm off today. Thorsgoats had to take my car to work, as they're still working on his. crazy So it will definitely be a day of singing and gaming for me. grin

Hope everyone has a fantastic Wednesday. summer

EDIT: Have a terrific day, Gail.

Last edited by venus; 07/13/16 09:16 AM. Reason: Gail snuck in

Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: venus] #1073969
07/13/16 10:21 AM
07/13/16 10:21 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
oops I have to be legal Gail?? blush


Good morning Boomers. It is indeed another windy day here and that's fine by me. I took my girls to the park this morning, and then came back and finished mowing outside the fence. bravo


Now I have laundry and cleaning to do inside where it's cool. happydance


Hi MaG, I have one more day to grace Lowe's with my divine presence. summer


That day is tomorrow. thumbsup


Ana I noticed you were talking about the 'dry heat' out there, That's what I miss about where I grew up. I've always been drawn to a dry, arid, or even desert-like climate. I'm glad to see you guys having such a good time. yes


Thanks for the coffee Gerry, and the bacon sandwiches Connie. kissy


Venus I hope they get Thorsgoats car repair finished today. yes


L4L I hope the kitty is ok today.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1073970
07/13/16 10:21 AM
07/13/16 10:21 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

Today is decidely a book-cooking day, though we have a break in the afternoon for a routine vet visit for Seagy and Keoki. Hubby is having a discussion with the dishwasher which has decided that it should bless the kitchen floor with water. We think the floor has been blessed enough.

Joe, have a great day.

MaG, wavegirl

Ana, sounds like you have had the time of your life. joy

Gerry, I'll be monopolizing the coffee today, please.

Connie, enjoy!

Gail, have a great day.

Venus, sounds like a great day. Hope Thorsgoats' car is soon hale and heart.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1073989
07/13/16 01:48 PM
07/13/16 01:48 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Have a wonderful Wednesday every body laugh

Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.
Me thinks I found the leak I did
And time will tell
if I can fix
wink

L4L hearts


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1073991
07/13/16 01:58 PM
07/13/16 01:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Soot kissy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1074011
07/13/16 03:51 PM
07/13/16 03:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1074025
07/13/16 05:14 PM
07/13/16 05:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Afternoon, Space, welcome home.

Back from a very long vet visit...all is well.

Back to cooking wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1074030
07/13/16 06:06 PM
07/13/16 06:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Dishwasher adjustment complete...had lots of help from little Soot too lol

Time will tell if my mission was successful think

...and miles to go before I sleep wink

Have a wonderful afternoon everyone

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: soot] #1074036
07/13/16 07:51 PM
07/13/16 07:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
That is great news looney. puppy


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: soot] #1074037
07/13/16 07:58 PM
07/13/16 07:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Soot looks like you've been Mr Fix-it and a very busy guy today. shocked

Miles to go before you sleep. lol

I wonder how I made it through this day..............without a nap. tired

Change that 'made' to 'maid'. That's what I feel like now. Lot's of house cleaning. I'm just a little Suzy Homemaker. wink

The place is clean though........for the most part anyway. yes

I also walked 3 miles on the the old mill. woot

I hope everyone is having a great day. yes


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1074041
07/13/16 08:53 PM
07/13/16 08:53 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Well, it looks like I'll be taking Thorsgoats to work in the morning, as they still haven't worked on his car. rolleyes Which means I'll have to get up at 3 am instead of 4. I think I'm going to have to teach the cats to drive. lol

Okay, off to sleep. Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: venus] #1074045
07/13/16 09:34 PM
07/13/16 09:34 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Venus sorry Thorsgoats's car isn't fixed and you have to get up so early. smirk

That stinks. razz

I gotta be at work at 8:00am. Schedule says 9:00, but I'm not waiting until 9:00 to start my last day. shame

What are they going to do, fire me? evil

See you all in the morning. wave

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: venus] #1074046
07/13/16 09:40 PM
07/13/16 09:40 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Originally Posted By: venus
I think I'm going to have to teach the cats to drive. lol




Good luck Venus. I think I saw that on Saturday Night Live. blackkitty


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1074047
07/13/16 09:58 PM
07/13/16 09:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Checking in the diner to say hi and good night. Today was my only day off for this week. I spent way too much on rte 128 to the Pain Clinic but I had no choice. All is well with me for another month. Boy the time just zips by. I hope you all had a good day. After going to the pain clinic after I came home I needed a chiropractic appointment to fix my spine. I feel better.

Happy dreams all. See you in the morning. Thinking about BB pancakes for breakfast. Yum.

Midgie hearts wavegirl


Just do it.
Re: Joe's Hump Day [Re: Midge] #1074048
07/13/16 10:01 PM
07/13/16 10:01 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Midgie. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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