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Saturdiner #1075206
07/22/16 10:07 PM
07/22/16 10:07 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
DALE CARNEGIE

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

`````````````````````


These are excuse notes that school secretaries have actually received. Some of these were in an article in the Detroit News back in the 1970s.

“Please excuse John for being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33.”

“Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat.”

“Please excuse Joey Friday. He had loose vowels.”

“Please excuse Joyce from jim today.”

“Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. He fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”

“Karl was hit yesterday playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”

“John was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.”

“Please excuse Gloria. She has been sick and under the doctor.”

“Please excuse Sarah from being absent yesterday. She was sick and I had her shot.”

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.


My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

“Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father’s fault.”

````````````````````````````````````

Funny Letters to Government Agencies


1. Dear Sirs, please stop my assistance since I got a job begging in October

2. I am writing the Welfare Dept. to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?

3. Mrs. Jones has not had any clothing for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

4. I cannot get sick pay. I have had 6 children. Can you tell me why?

5. I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

6. This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?

7. Please find for certain if my husband is dead, as the man I am living with can’t do a thing until he knows.

8. I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my boy as illiterate. This is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.

9. In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

10. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake as you can see.

11. Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

12. My husband got laid off from his job 2 weeks ago, and I haven’t had any relief since.

13. You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?

14. I have no children yet as my husband is a bus driver and works night and day.

15. In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

16. I want my money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with a doctor for 2 weeks and he hasn’t done me any good. If things don’t improve I will have to send for another doctor.

(In response to the question, “Why have you applied for public assistance?”) My husband left me last month and I am in need of ass
``````````````````````````


A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. For a quiz, she gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first grade kids (6 or 7 year-olds)!


* Strike while the ………insect is close.
* Never underestimate the power of…………ants.
* Don’t bite the hand that………………..looks dirty.
* Better to be safe than…………….punch a grade 7 boy.
* If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…….stink in the morning.
* It’s always darkest before…………DaylightSaving Time.
* You can lead a horse to water but………..how?
* No news is…………………………….impossible.
* A miss is as good as a………………….Mr.
* You can’t teach an old dog new…………..maths.
* Love all, trust………………………..me.
* The pen is mightier than the…………….pigs.
* An idle mind is…………………the best way to relax.
* Where there’s smoke there’s……………..pollution.
* Happy the bride who……………gets all the presents.
* A penny saved is……………………….not much.
* Two’s company, three’s…………………the Musketeers.
* Don’t put off till tomorrow what….you put on to go to bed.
* Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and……….you have to blow your nose.
* There are none so blind as………………Stevie Wonder.
* Children should be seen and not………….smacked or grounded.
* If at first you don’t succeed……………get new batteries.
* You get out of something only what you……see in the picture on the box.
* When the blind leadeth the blind……..get out of the way.
* And the favorite:
* Better late than……………………….pregnant

`````````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Welcome to the weekend! thumbsup


I was thinking I would get out at about 8:00pm or later, and mow my yard, which is looking like a jungle now, but at 8:30 it's still 97 degrees. We hit 100 degrees today. slapforehead


I decided I need to get out early in the morning and do it instead.


That may mean The dogs don't get to go to the park, but I'm sure they'll understand completely. shame


Saturday is supposed to be 101, and 100 on Sunday, ugh! On the bright side.... headscratch....actually I should say on the dark side we have a very good chance for strong thunderstorms Sunday afternoon. bravo


I'd rather troll around on the dark side for the next month. rolleyes


Have a happy day everyone. woot


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 07/22/16 10:10 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075207
07/22/16 10:11 PM
07/22/16 10:11 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great day Joe.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075209
07/22/16 10:51 PM
07/22/16 10:51 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Stay cool Joe!

Have a great day, SpaceQ!

Have a wonderful day everyone! I'll be heading to the Veggie Fest with James today. It's my favorite festival of the year.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075219
07/23/16 03:16 AM
07/23/16 03:16 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning everyone. wavegirl
Enjoy your day. happydance summer


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075222
07/23/16 04:11 AM
07/23/16 04:11 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
summer Good Morning Joe, Space, Ana, Haroula and all. Coffee, tea, and ice tea are ready. Happy Day wished for you all! summer


Gerry
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075225
07/23/16 06:29 AM
07/23/16 06:29 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Saturday. I'm going to Sarasota with Robert and Cyndi today. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Saturdiner [Re: connie] #1075230
07/23/16 08:45 AM
07/23/16 08:45 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Ana we are starting out at almost 80 degrees so I think this is going to be a hot one. woozy


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075232
07/23/16 09:26 AM
07/23/16 09:26 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
SpaceQ, here too! I love the heat but the humidity is the killer. 100 degrees in Utah felt like 80 here with the lack of humidity. It's a sauna here.

Connie, enjoy your trip!

Haroula, have a wonderful day!

Gerry, how is the race going?

We are going to the waterpark after the festival to cool off.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075234
07/23/16 10:03 AM
07/23/16 10:03 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope you and the dogs stay cool, Joe. Hope you get a thunderstorm. smile

Enjoy your Saturday, Space Quest. Hope you are able to stay cool as well.

Have fun at the Veggie Fest and waterpark today, Ana. thumbsup

Have a great day, Haroula.

Have fun at Sarasota, Connie. thumbsup

I'm off today, and I have a voice lesson. thumbsup

Have a great Saturday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Saturdiner [Re: venus] #1075235
07/23/16 10:28 AM
07/23/16 10:28 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning how is everyone doing this morning? wave2

I didn't get up quite as early as I wanted to today. I hurriedly ate my breakfast, and had one cup of coffee, and jumped on my lawn mower. I finished mowing around 8:00, so I changed shirts, poured my second cup of coffee, loaded up the dogs and headed for the park. lab

Let me tell you, driving on bumpy roads, with a full cup of coffee, and a little dog bouncing around your lap, is NOT the best idea I've had lately. I guess I'm going to have to get a dog harness for the truck. razz

My son sent me a coffee cup that says "The Dogfather". I'm not changing my name to Ceaser yet. lol

There were a few people at the park, and it was already getting pretty darned warm. I was in shorts, and not enjoying the heat at all, but there was a fellow there who was running around the track in full sweats. shocked

I was actually wondering if I could give him mouth to mouth in the event he keeled over with a heart attack. blush

I know I need the exercise, but wearing sweats even inside under the AC doesn't appeal to me.

I'm trying to keep get fit right now on my treadmill. I've runwalked 23 miles in around 7 1/2 hours, and burned almost 3000 calories, but when you're walking, and you lead with your gut, instead of your chin, or your chest, you know you've still got a long way to go. rolleyes

Gotta go give my dogs some more attention. I can feel their eyes burning a hole in me. puppy

Enjoy your day everyone.

joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 07/23/16 11:18 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075236
07/23/16 11:12 AM
07/23/16 11:12 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have fun with the doggie Joe. puppy


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075242
07/23/16 12:17 PM
07/23/16 12:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Today shall be a lazy day I think. A little of this, a little of that, a lot of nothing. Unless I get really inspired and decide to fry a chicken whistle

I "found" an old movie on tv when I first woke up...so engaging...called Four is a Crowd. Love those old movies that depend on dialogue and witty repartee. Glued me to the tv...didn't even want to come down stairs as I didn't want to miss what was being said.

Joe, luck Goodness, surprised that fellow didn't keel over.

wow, Ana, a Veggie Fest sounds awesome! Have fun at the waterpark.

Connie, what's happening in Sarosota?

Space, it's like that here too. I wonder if it's the entire center of the country?

Haroula, is it a beach day for you?

Venus, hope your lesson is fantastic.

Gerry, wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075245
07/23/16 12:26 PM
07/23/16 12:26 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
For some reason, San Diego finally decided to 'do summer'. We are going to be about 94 (so they say) near the coast where I am. Gonna be a scorcher AND humidity. Not fun. I'm keeping the house closed until noon to keep the cool night air in. Actually closed some of the blinds on the sunny side. Can hardly wait to see if the predictions are right. Wow.

LOST my little whish broom. Darn! I had 2 'antique' brooms (about 5-6 inches) that I kept right near the back door and used to sweep the ants off the Outdoorsies feeding table. Well, a week ago, I did that and now I can't find the one I used the most. I have NO idea where I put it. My best guess is that I used it late one night, left it lying on the table and a 'critter' decided it would be great decoration for its home. Raccoons take a lot of stuff. Might have been them, or a possum (who build nests in dark places. Some day, long after I'm gone, and someone tears up the wooden deck that EVERYTHING lives under, or at least passes through, they will probably find my whish broom and a million other things that critters have stolen. I know there are some towels, kitty play balls and fake mice, some decorations from plants, etc. Lots of stuff goes missing. Miss my little broom. I'll have to go shopping and see if I can find one that small. All the ones I see are like 10 inches or more. I need 5-7 max. Phooey!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075252
07/23/16 12:59 PM
07/23/16 12:59 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Awww, Sorta, sorry you lost your broom. But it's better than losing your wits whistle wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075255
07/23/16 01:22 PM
07/23/16 01:22 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
My voice lesson was cancelled, as my teacher is not feeling well. frown Time to practice on my own. smile


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075257
07/23/16 02:12 PM
07/23/16 02:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Sorry your lesson was cancelled. Hope you can reschedule it soon.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075259
07/23/16 02:34 PM
07/23/16 02:34 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi everyone that's still here. I'm getting ready to head to work. I think we should have a party for everyone that's baking in 90 degree or hotter weather. Along with mine, I'm counting a lot of hands in the air. Whew! Our weather person is saying the 90 or better heat, is with us for another 4 days...oh joy...

Midgie hearts wavegirl


Just do it.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075267
07/23/16 04:15 PM
07/23/16 04:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Midgy, hope work is fun!

Our heat is near 100 everyday for a bit sad Where is the melting smiley?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: looney4labs] #1075303
07/23/16 08:05 PM
07/23/16 08:05 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
lol looney


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075304
07/23/16 08:40 PM
07/23/16 08:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Well, it's getting to be that time for me. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: looney4labs] #1075318
07/23/16 11:08 PM
07/23/16 11:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1075332
07/24/16 12:49 AM
07/24/16 12:49 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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