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#1075309 - Yesterday at 09:56 PM Sip and Surf Sunday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 31095
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.
HENRY FORD

```````````````````````````


You’ve probably seen some of these classic dumb, stupid and funny warning labels and product instructions before. Some are painfully obvious, some don’t quite master the English language, and others are unintended double meanings… Most are pretty darn funny. So, in case you missed any, here is a collection of the stupidest and funniest warning labels, most verified as authentic.

Funny, Dumb and Stupid Warning Labels


Do not use while sleeping.
Sears hair dryer

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
Bag of Fritos

Use like regular soap.
Dial soap

Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Swann frozen dinner

Fits one head.
Shower cap box

Do not turn upside down.
Bottom of Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert box

Product will be hot after heating.
Marks & Spencer bread pudding

Do not iron clothes on body.
Rowenta iron

Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Boot’s children’s cough medicine

Warning: May cause drowsiness.
Nytol

Warning: Keep out of children.
Korean kitchen knife

For indoor or outdoor use only.
Chinese Christmas lights

Not to be used for the other use.
Japanese food processor

Warning: Contains nuts.
Sainsbury’s peanuts

Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
American Airlines peanut packet

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Swedish chainsaw

``````````````````````````````


Humorous, silly, stupid and weird classified ads from newspapers and magazines


Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.

Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore–unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

``````````````````````````````

Here are some funny newspaper headlines:

Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

House passes gas tax onto senate

Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan

Two convicts evade noose, jury hung

William Kelly was fed secretary

Milk drinkers are turning to powder

Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted

Quarter of a million Chinese live on water

Farmer bill dies in house

`````````````````````````````

Welcome to the sweetest little Sip and Surf Sunday Diner everyboomie. welcome


Sugar....Ah Honey Honey....You are my candy girl, and you got me wanting you. grin


Is that sweet enough for you? hamster


Personally I'm trying real hard to cut down on sugar. razz


It's a struggle. blush


A..sweet struggle. snicker


It's making me a sourpuss though. taz


Hopefully though I'll be a healthy-er sourpuss. wink


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#1075319 - Yesterday at 11:08 PM Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 13158
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Enjoy your Sunday Boomers. smile
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#1075327 - Yesterday at 11:58 PM Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 70341
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ and all. Bad storms here and power outages surrounding us but thankfully I am still with power.

Have a happy day all!!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1075333 - 9 minutes 48 seconds ago Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 6609
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a terrific Sunday Joe, Space Quest, Ana and all who follow. wave

It's late Saturday night for me, and I'm off to sleep. More practicing and gaming await me tomorrow. grin

Have a great Sunday, everyone. summer
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

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