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#1075441 - 07/24/16 11:21 PM Monday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 31188
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
The next time you’re faced with something that’s unexpected, unwanted and uncertain, consider that it just may be a gift.
STACEY KRAMER

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More Funny, silly, weird and sometimes even hilarious Newspaper headlines from actual newspapers.


Iraqi head seeks arms

Queen Mary having bottom scraped

Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

Prostitutes appeal to Pope

Panda mating fails – veterinarian takes over

NJ judge to rule on nude beach

Child’s stool great for use in garden

Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors

Soviet virgin lands short of goal again

Organ festival ends in smashing climax

Eye drops off shelf

Squad helps dog bite victim

Dealers will hear car talk at noon

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests

Miners refuse to work after death

Two Soviet ships collide – one dies

Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

Never withhold herpes from loved one

Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy

Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984

Autos killing 110 a day, let’s resolve to do better

If strike isn’t settled quickly it may last a while

War dims hope for peace

Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency

Cold wave linked to temperatures

Child’s death ruins couple’s holiday

Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years

Man is fatally slain

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say

Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

British Left Waffles on Falkan Islands

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Here are some really funny church bulletins and announcements:


Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang, “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.


The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: “Break Forth Into Joy.”

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

`````````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Welcome to the new work week.....................for some. razz


The only thing I have planned for the week is my yearly check-up on Wednesday at the VA. thumbsup


It's when my doctor examines me and says, "I can't believe you're in such fantastic shape for an 80 year old man." smirk


Well it's better than her saying, "I can't believe you're still breathing." snicker


Maybe she won't put her rubber gloves on and say, "I need to examine your prostate now." razz


I spent too much time gaming tonight. I need to try and hit the sack earlier than 11:00 for once. woot


Have a happy day everyone.


joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (07/24/16 11:26 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#1075443 - 07/24/16 11:33 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 70699
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
The beauty of being retired Joe is doing things at your time! Stay up and play if you are having fun!

Have a happy day all!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1075451 - 07/25/16 04:28 AM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 20864
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, and all. It was a great finish to the Tour de France yesterday. Chris Froome was the winner! Paris is such a beautiful city to end the race in! Coffee and tea along with ice tea are ready. Happy Day wished for everyone! summer wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#1075460 - 07/25/16 06:31 AM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 9133
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#1075467 - 07/25/16 08:15 AM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 9778
Loc: Greece
Hi all wavegirl
Have a nice day. happydance summer
_________________________
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".


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#1075470 - 07/25/16 08:38 AM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 16732
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers hamster

Joe, enjoy the freedom you have now!

Ana, have a great day!

Gerry, another hot day but I still enjoy my hot coffee. Thanks!

Connie, Danish sounds great this morning.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

A quick walk with Nina this morning before it gets too hot. Wishing everyone a wonderful day! kitty
_________________________
Gail

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#1075486 - 07/25/16 11:37 AM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 8628
Loc: San Diego, CA
It's going to be a good day. Our roaming peacock, Penelope, has been missing for 4-5 days and we all were worried. Last year, she disappeared and we found out later she had laid unfertile eggs, which eventually were taken away after the 'nest home people' smelled the decay. Animal control tried to catch Miss Penelope at their request, but no luck. I'd love her to have a FARM to live in, but I let them in my yard too, and still she's too smart to be caught.

Anyway, after NO contact or hearing her honks or other sounds, I was just getting out of bed and heard one LOUD honk in the driveway and got dressed just in time to see her frantically running around my deck, eating a few sunflower seeds, a few grapes, a bite of cat food and probably had tons of water (she ran from that area) and then she was gone again. This is the normal behavior when she's 'nesting'. She's probably been coming over in the wee hours of the night to grab some food and then going home in stealth mode. Peacocks leave the nest about 2 times a day to eat.

Now I know she's safe (not dead or eaten) I'm feeling much better. I tracked her 'home' and she was in a big hurry. In the process, I saw a large HAWK sitting on the chimney of her 'home' 3 doors down. I'm suspecting that hawk, or maybe an owl is what got poor Lazarus the kitten about a week and a half ago. Poor Lazarus. Maybe he's in another yard, but I doubt it. That hawk was pretty big and was scanning the area.

Hot, humid, actually drops of rain a few ago. Weird summer again. I should buy and air conditioner, but I'd only have to use it about 2 weeks a year and you never know which 2 weeks. OH, great idea. I could buy several, and then RENT them out to people who only need they for the minimal time we actually have icky weather. I could be RICH. yay
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#1075488 - 07/25/16 11:55 AM Re: Monday [Re: Sorta Blonde]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 31188
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave2

This morning after I had my coffee I was thinking about taking my dogs for a walk around the block. Missy was doing her usual happy dance that she does when she thinks we're going somewhere. She will jump up and bite me in the buns over and over. lol

Well she injured her leg and started screaming in pain, which she has done once before. I decided I need to take her to the vet and see if she needed care. The vet said it's a common injury with Chihuahuas that her knee cap was getting popped over out of place by the ligaments shifting over. He said he could do surgery on it, but that it probably would not keep because of her constant running and jumping. lab

When she hurt it the first time she was jumping off the chair, and ever since then she favors that leg. frown

These little dogs are so delicate. smirk

After the vet visit, I took them to the park, and she was as happy as a lark. puppy

I'll keep a close watch on her and try to limit her jumping around.

It's overcast here, and a tad bit cooler, but still going up to 98 or so. Very humid with a good chance for rain later. Hope it happens. happydance

Have a super day everyone. yes

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#1075491 - 07/25/16 01:05 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 45537
Loc: Alabama
Hi guys, I seem to be having major net problems so will just say wavegirl and hope the cable folks get it fixed this afternoon puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#1075494 - 07/25/16 01:41 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 70699
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
L4L, hope you can get your net sorted quickly!

Joe, poor Missy! I hope she doesn't have it happen again. hearts

Sorta, glad you found Penelope again! yay

Gail, enjoy your walk! Stay cool!

Haroula, have a happy day!

Gerry, glad you enjoyed the race!

Connie, have a great day!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1075504 - 07/25/16 03:01 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 15357
Loc: Massachusetts
Hi everyone. I just snuck in a nap. I needed one to keep going. I have to go back to work in a few. I hope you all are having a good day today. It's above 90 again today. We have a couple more hot hot days before the temps are back in the 80's. It's been quite a run of 90 degree weather. Whew!

Midgie hearts wavegirl
_________________________
Just do it.

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#1075507 - 07/25/16 03:43 PM Re: Monday [Re: Midge]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 13507
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hot, hot, hot. Pass the lemonade Boomers. wave2
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#1075512 - 07/25/16 04:32 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 45537
Loc: Alabama
Well of course the net started behaving about 5 minutes before the repair guy showed up rotfl Just glad it's working again joy

Hot hot hot here too...just holding my breath and waiting for the end of summer.

Back to book cooking.....wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#1075525 - 07/25/16 07:10 PM Re: Monday [Re: looney4labs]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 13507
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
I'm glad you are up and running looney.
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#1075527 - 07/25/16 07:40 PM Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 45537
Loc: Alabama
Me too, I was having 1200 baud flashbacks sad
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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