The next time you’re faced with something that’s unexpected, unwanted and uncertain, consider that it just may be a gift.
STACEY KRAMER
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More Funny, silly, weird and sometimes even hilarious Newspaper headlines from actual newspapers.Iraqi head seeks arms
Queen Mary having bottom scraped
Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
Panda mating fails – veterinarian takes over
NJ judge to rule on nude beach
Child’s stool great for use in garden
Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
Organ festival ends in smashing climax
Eye drops off shelf
Squad helps dog bite victim
Dealers will hear car talk at noon
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
Miners refuse to work after death
Two Soviet ships collide – one dies
Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
Never withhold herpes from loved one
Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
Autos killing 110 a day, let’s resolve to do better
If strike isn’t settled quickly it may last a while
War dims hope for peace
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Cold wave linked to temperatures
Child’s death ruins couple’s holiday
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years
Man is fatally slain
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
British Left Waffles on Falkan Islands
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Here are some really funny church bulletins and announcements:Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang, “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: “Break Forth Into Joy.”
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the new work week.....................for some.
The only thing I have planned for the week is my yearly check-up on Wednesday at the VA.
It's when my doctor examines me and says, "I can't believe you're in such fantastic shape for an 80 year old man."
Well it's better than her saying, "I can't believe you're still breathing."
Maybe she won't put her rubber gloves on and say, "I need to examine your prostate now."
I spent too much time gaming tonight. I need to try and hit the sack earlier than 11:00 for once.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Just glad it's working again 
